Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Breaking Free


Today as every Wed. was PWOC, (Protestant Women of the Chapel...aka Women's Bible Study). For those outside of the military PWOC is Army wide, well it started off just Army spouses and has now spread through the rest of the branches of the military.

So anyways we're in our 5th week for the Spring session and the class I'm taking is Beth Moore's Breaking Free. Anyone who's ever done a Beth Moore study knows it'll kick your butt all over the place and this one has done it so well! Each weeks study is 5 days worth of work. Day 5 was on Hearts Broken By Loss. I swear I think she wrote this just for me, ok well God definately spoke to her and he knew one day I'd take this study. We each spoke about different days of the study and how they touched us and effected us and of course this was "my day".

I would not have made it through the death of Jordyn without Jesus. I just can not imagine how anyone gets through a single day without our Lord, much less when drastic things happen in a person's life. The worst thing to ever happen to me is my daughter being dx with AML leukemia and then of course dying from it 14 months after her diagnosis. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, ever. So much in this chapter spoke to me and simply knocked me on the floor.

Beth goes through different points in the study and the 1st point for Day 5 was this: "Christ never allows the hearts of His own to be shattered without excellent reasons and eternal purposes." That statement in and of itself is mind blowing, but then she goes on under that point and says "Our Father would never allow our hearts to break for trival reasons. We may never see the reasons like Mary and Martha did, but could we walk by faith and believe the best of Chrst? You see, the most debilitating loss for a Christian is not the loss of a loved one but the loss of faith."

Trust me when I say the death of your loved one is debilitating, but she is so correct, the devestation that would be without Christ there holding me, is something I can not imagine. Trust me I was furious with God for allowing Jordyn to die. I wanted him to cure her the way I WANTED him to. I wanted him to rid her precious little body of the cancer and allow her to grow up. Instead he showed her mercy and took  her home to Heaven. In my mind she'll always be that sweet precious 2 yr old little girl.  It's been nearly 7 yrs since Jordyn died and the thought of going through these last 7 yrs without Christ by my side is impossible. The first many months, possibly year, I struggled to turn to Christ. My husband though, oh he was my shining example of Christ.

Point 2. Christ never allows any illness to end in death for a Christian.

"Even if we believe that death is not the end, our hearts often lag far behind. All believers in Christ will rise from the dead......Neither does it have to be the end of life of the l oved one left behind-but too often, it is.

Point 3. Any kind of "death" is an invitation to resurrection life to the believer.

"Nothing is more natural than grief after a devestating loss...When our hearts have been shattered by loss, we have an opportunity to welcome a supernatural power to our lives. It doesn't have to come any other way. That power is the power to live again on tis earth when we'd really rather die. ...God becomes the only explanation for our emotional survival and revival. Perhaps the most profound miracle of all is living through something we thought would kill us. ...A life indeed absent of something or someone dear but filled with the presence of the Resurrection and Life.

No, my life will never be the same....The life of a Christian is never about sameness. It's always about change. That's why we must learn to survive and once again thrive when change involves heartbreaking loss. We're being conformed to the image of Christ. When our hearts are hemorraging with grief and loss, never forget that Christ binds and compresses it with a nail-scarred hand. Life will not ever be the same, but I have the invitation from Christ to rise to a new life-a more compassionate life, a wiser life, a more productive life. And, yes, even a better life. Sound impossible? It is without Christ. "


Ok that's what touched me, broke me, and bound me back up to Christ last night. God is good, he's gracious and he can take the absolute worst thing in our lives, and use them for his good and to give us goodness as well. He will not waste our hurt.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

That Big Secret and Where to Really Find that answer and well every other one we have



Ok so see the link it and read Carly's's a great one and my inspiration for this entry.

So many people are constantly seeking help. They will go to therapists, friends, spouses, anyone looking for answers, yet for many of us we hold the answer in a  book that for many has been passed down from generation after generation. For some like me, you have a few of this particular book, but in different versions, throughout your home. Some may have never even opened this book up. Some love this book, some hate it and everything it has to say because oh how it will condemn you if you're doing wrong. What book is it?

The Bible. You want your self the bible.

Want to know what you're doing right and wrong in raising your the bible.

Want to know why your marriage isn't the way you the bible.

We're a society constantly searching for answers. We want to know how to eat right, why we're feeling this way or that way and how we can feel another way. Why our marriage isn't the way we desire, the answers are all there in one book. We all want to know how to fix this or change that, and the answers have been in a book for hundreds of years.  If you're searching for answers, I urge you to open up your bible. If you don't have one you can buy one through, OR go to a church and tell them you don't have a bible and would like one.

Army and Make a Wish Grant Ill Boy His Wish

Because the liberal media is so keen on only putting out all the horrible things our military does, and they like to quip they support our troops, but the reality is they don't, here's a nice story to share!


Top News- Sick Teen's Military Dreams Come True - AOL News


EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, FL (Feb. 26) - Weakened by a lifelong struggle with cystic fibrosis, 14-year-old Riley Woina dreamed of being strong like the heroes he'd seen in war movies like "Black Hawk Down."

He wanted to parachute, fire rounds, wear a uniform. He wasn't scared of some of the most grueling training the Army has to offer.

So when he was offered the opportunity through the Make-A-Wish foundation to realize his dream, he jumped at the chance. Recently, the Plymouth, Conn., teen got to spend a week watching the U.S. Army's 6th Ranger Training Battalion train in Florida - and even try many of the tasks himself.

"You always want what you cannot have and he'll never be able to join the Army because of his cystic fibrosis, so of course he wants that more than anyone else would. He would join the Army today if he could," said his mother, Susan Woina.

Riley is the first child to ask Make-A-Wish to visit a Ranger camp, said Capt. Jeremiah Cordovano, spokesman for the 6th Ranger Battalion. It was an unusual choice - the foundation often grants wishes for Walt Disney World trips or shopping sprees.

"I knew I probably wouldn't be able to do anything like this again. They do everything down here, the swamp training, everything," Riley said, while eating with his new Ranger buddies in the chow hall at Camp James E. Rudder.

The camp is where Rangers spend 18 grueling days at the end of their 62-day training. Rangers go through realistic combat scenarios and are typically exhausted when they arrive, said Cordovano. But, "you really get to see what you are made of and if you have what it takes to be a combat leader," he said.

During the week, the 80-pound teen got to ride in a helicopter, traverse the swamps with Rangers in an inflatable Zodiac boat and witness a 64-paratrooper night jump from inside a C-130. He even got personalized fatigues, complete with his own combat boots and dog tags.

He also was presented with his own flight suit, a "U.S. Army Air Ambulance Detachment" patch, and his pilot's wings from an 82nd Airborne flight crew. Rangers also helped him to radio his mom from the helicopter while hovering above the beach.

"Mom, this is Riley, this is awesome," he said.

"Riley, I'm glad you're having a good time," she said.

The Rangers showed Riley how to deploy a parachute and a reserve parachute. As his parents and older brother, Ryan, laughed at Riley's enthusiasm, Master Sgts. Jose Morengo and Alexander Barnett rolled on the ground, jumped off benches and unfurled the parachutes.

He got to practice shooting blank M4 rounds and help clear a training room using grenade simulators.

Even a black eye, which he received as Morengo pulled the rip cord grip on a reserve parachute strapped around Riley's waist, didn't keep Riley from smiling. Morengo gave Riley the rip cord grip as a souvenir, explaining that it was the ultimate trophy of surviving a harrowing experience.

Riley's cystic fibrosis causes a buildup of a thick mucus that makes breathing difficult and inhibits absorption of nutrients, stunting growth. Riley takes nutritional supplements, respiratory medications, uses an inhaler and sleeps with a special vest that helps to shake up and clear out the mucus in his lungs while he sleeps.

But the Rangers who met him said that he's got the fortitude it takes to be a Ranger. Later this month, he'll get to go to Fort Benning, Ga.,with the successful students for graduation ceremonies.

"He's got nothing to prove to us, he's tough enough," Morengo said.

The experience didn't make Riley fear the grueling physical punishment Rangers experience at Camp Rudder, either - and he wasn't sympathetic.

"It's a way of life for them, they are the ones that signed up for it so it's their fault," he said, as the Rangers around him laughed.



******On a personal note, Jordyn never got a Make a Wish. I'm sure hers would have been more of a Disney Trip, but we did use another grant foundation that allowed us to take her back to Kansas so all our friends and family were able to see her one last time before she died. A family friend put together a HUGE birthday party for her at a local church's gym (normal high school gym size). She had a pony that she got to ride, although it freaked her out, etc. It is an organization that does everything they can to grant children's wishes. Most only hear about Disney Trips, but they can do so many different things, such as this one. They can't grant trips out of the country, the legistics in and of itself would be a nightmare, and the money involved would probably cost what it'd cost to grant 3 or more Disney wishes!


Isn't it nice to just read good news, we're bombarded with negative all the time, to read something good, positive, and simply nice is a wonderful change.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Pregnancy Update

Ok soI'll be 15 weeks. I am still dealing with "morning" sickness. Trust me it's not just in the morning. It hits me any time of the day or evening, usually by say 7 pm I'm ok. Today I only had nausea, so maybe I'm starting to turn a corner! I hope so, but not holding my breath yet on that.

I'm also not sure if I told you that at my last ob apt, my dr decided to dx me with high blood pressure, after just one taking it was 150/72. They never retook it before I left the office. Now I go to a German ob, we have to. Where we're located that's the only option, we're a good 3 or more hours from Landstuhl so no American OB's for me. Which is ok, there are just some differences obviously. Like the whole "you're having your tubes tied, you have to...this will be your 4th c-section" no I will not. We have put our fertility and family into God's hands and he's done a great job for us so far! So anyways, my ob told me to go to our little clinic that we have on post 3 times a week until my next apt which is March 12. I went Friday and it was in the normal range. I don't remember exactly what it was but it was in the 130's/70's. Then today I went back and it was 123/80...perfectly good. The nurses at the clinic think I either had a bad reading (At my ob's they do it the old fashioned way, squeezing the cuff and listening to the heart rate) vs the machine that takes it at the clinic and well prob. every   American facility. So I'm really not sure, but am thrilled that my bp is in the normal range. I did have to call today and reschedule my glucose test. It was supposed to be on Friday, but we're going to Garmisch on a retreat so it's scheduled for next Thursday...the 8th of March. I actually requested to have the glucose test done early, because I am overweight and want to stay on top of this, so if I do come down with gestational diabetes I can be on top of taking care of it. Hopefully it will not be an issue, but I figure it's better to be overly cautious than under when it comes to this.

I'm really not one that worries too much, but I do try to be proactive and if I'm not, no one else is going to be. I'm me and my babies best advocate.

Well, I'm actually tired, so I'm off to bed.


God Bless




lil update

I probably confused at least a couple people, some one suggested I might have strep throat and I realize I didn't put my statement about it from last nights entry into a question (which is what I intended on doing..oops!) Ok, so I don't think I have strep for the fact that my throat only hurts at night time, I'm pretty well always hoarse, but I nearly lose my voice at night and first thing in the morning it takes it a little while for it to get as "normal" as possible for right now! So I don't think I have Strep Throat!! :)

We've had a little houseguest since Friday afternoon and he's going home anytime now. He's our friends little dog, Sparky! They went to Venice for the weekend, while the inlaw (mil and grandma) are here. The husband will be deploying soon, so this was a nice little weekend get away. They just had a baby in January and we kept their older son during that time. So any ways, Sparky should be going up in the next half hour. He was supposed to go home yesterday, but they didn't end up getting home until almost 1 am! He's a good little dog and the boys love him so he's been fun to have here! We've watched him a few other times so he just becomes right at home while staying here! :)

Ok,I need to get dressed, it's some how 10:30 already! Where did my morning go? I need to start thinking about lunch!!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

In a Mood**Edited**

Ok first thanks for the prayers and thoughts. My friend is getting better, she's still not feeling hot but the worst of it seems to be past. Her oldest is coming home tonight and she's happy about that, she's really missed her even though she's been at her Nana's about 15 minutes away. I think all of us Mama's can understand how much we miss our little ones when they're not with us. Amazingly her youngest one who stayed home never got sick so hopefully the girls will stay healthy!

My throat is still a little soar,but not like it was. I've never had strep throat, but I always thought that was something that always hurt (day and night) and mine really is only sore at night, I will wake up a little sore, but mostly hoarse and it stays that oh so sexy hoarse sound throughout the day (not the crackling going in and out like it is in the morning and by the end of the night, which you all know is 2 or 3 am for me!).

The morning sickness (m/s) is still here and so is the overwhelming nausea. I'm honestly sick of it (yeah great choice of words huh!) I'm tired of it. Speaking of tired, that's really hitting me lately. Today we had Awana. We have to be at the church by 4. I'm the Sparks Director so I have a bag and tote I take to the High School Annex where Sparks and T&T are at (the cubbies are the only ones that stay at the chapel), and Chad's the Games Director and he normally has tons of stuff to haul, including grabbing the flags for Sparks and T&T as well as the American Flag and the Awana Flag and the board that has the Awana Pledge on it. (Yes Chad grabs more than what he should have to, but simply put no one else does it falls on him and he's a nice guy!). Anyways, I laid down on the couch about 3, finally started drifting off about 3:20, only to wake up 20 minutes freaking out knowing we still needed to get ready to go. So we popped off the couch and chair (where Chad was dosing). Seriously I could have slept until 6 pm. Once we were outside I was fine, but man was I tired and of course here it is 11:35 and I'm wide awake.

Did I tell you guys that on Thursday we're going back down to Garmisch? The chapel is sponsoring Marriage retreats through our unit (all 3 units who returned are going on retreats, they're each offering 4 or 5 so everyone can go). We couldn't go to the first one, but it's really worked out perfectly, we would have missed AWANA and that's a no go. We'll be down there Thursday through Saturday. While down there we plan on going to a man who makes furniture (custom) for a very reasonable price! I'm excited about the retreat and the furniture! The boys love going there and it's honestly I think Jack's favorite place in the whole world!!

Ok so anyways, ultimately I'm just in a mood. I've read a friends blog (real life friend) and oh she's on my last freaking nerve. I know so not nice. We have completely opposite opinions on parenting, not saying I'm right and she's wrong, just very different. I'm not one who thinks TV is really good for kids and she gives it the credit for teaching her children. I guess I am too stubborn to say tv's been my children's teacher...that's MY JOB. I think tv is and should be for entertainment. Of course there are learning aspects, but it's not what's teaching my children. What it can do though is encourage things. It can encourage negative (mostly) and sometimes positive morals, it can encourage values (again I believe mostly negative). There are a lot of cute children's programs on tv now and they spout that they're educational but really they're entertainment. When I was a kid I watched for entertainment and I know without a doubt I learned from them. I think in many ways the older cartoons gave in ways more valuable tools. They showed friends being FRIENDS, showed families being families, sticking up for each other, going out on the limb for each other, etc. My childhood was full of Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, Munchichi's (oh I loved that, the Get A Long Gang ( I think they are the animals who lived in the city park), Care Bears, Smurfs, etc. There were good and bad, very clear cut in many of the cartoons from my childhood. There were good guys and bad guys. Today there's very few that teach that aspect to life. The reality is there are good and bad people. Easy and hard situations, etc. They were also primarily limited to Saturday mornings, where you looked forward to it all week. It also gave you a reason to behave yourself, knowing if you misbehaved, had a dirty room, etc no cartoons, which was close to death! LOL

So there's my mini vent for the night! LOL

Oh and I did accomplish something else some laundry put away. Trust me when I say I'm a stay at home mom and not such a hot housewife. I want to be better at the latter. When I did put up the clothes I was very snippy to Chad, so I owe him a big apology. He'd offered to help  me even, and I was just not nice to him. No excuse, I choose my bad behavior/reaction and now I need to go in and say I'm sorry. It's humbling. God manages to humble me every single day, often multiple times a day!

**To answer Deb's question...the boys will go with us! They'll offer FREE childcare at the resort. Oh and the retreat is completely free, well I take that back. We'll have to pay for our lunches, but they pay for the room, breakfast, and dinner! We'll have 2 or 3 sessions/classes, one Thursday evening or afternoon once we're there, one on Friday, and possibly one on Saturday (not sure on Sat....Chad's supposed to bring the itenary home tomorrow). The rest of the time will be ours to do as we please. I think I can handle 1-2 hrs of classes a day, the rest of the time wondering Garmisch, playing in the pool, & enjoying the hot tub! Don't worry the hot tub isn't like the blasted scorching ones that are dangerous to pregnant women, this one the water is like the perfect bath for all, from new born babies to pregnant women!! It's outside too, so if it's cold oh it's the best! There's just something about warm water and cold air that does a person good! It's huge too, you can probably fit easily 40 or more people in it. Kids are welcomed until 7 pm (then it's adults only until closing time!!). Oh I can't wait!! LOL

Have a wonderful Sunday.


God Bless

Friday, February 23, 2007

Sore Throat and Prayers for a friend

I have a horribly sore throat. I can barely talk, even evening and morning I barely can speak. Whispering doesn't make it hurt so that's what I normally do until my voice finally starts to come back. I'm still quite hoarse but it's not too bad. When we first moved to Germany I got a nasty cold (in July/August) and ended up with larengytes ( I know I misspelled that), I was on antibiotic and another medication can't remember what it was. It took about 2 weeks with meds to get my voice back to normal. Since I will not take anything for it (not while pregnant even if it's "considered" safe) I am pretty sure it's going to take longer than 2 weeks, but we'll see. It hurts to swallow, even water. Actually water feels like acid going down my's like it's on fire when I drink it. I have also been coughing something awful, which usually leads to me running to the bathroom for 2 reaons....weak bladder and weak stomach. I'm already vomitting and gagging enough without coughing making me do it even more! I know it's really small, especially compared to my friend Emily who I'm asking the prayers for. She's 18 weeks pg and she has the flu. Her husband got sick Wed. and yesterday she came down with it. She was completely down and out yesterday with it. Her mom was able to take her older daughter who's 3, but not her younger one who's going to be 2 next between her and her sick husband they've managed to well keep Matilyn alive! LOL Amazingly neither of the girls are sick. Emily has been able to stay hydrated and she has been feeling the baby fluttering about so that's definately good news, because she was worried about how this was going to effect the baby. So please keep Emily and her husband Matt in your prayers and pray that the girls don't get sick. Emily's in her last semester of college, she'll graduate in May...she's a SAHM (stay at home mom), and watches a friends little girl who's also almost 2, so she has her hands full, oh and on Monday's she watches another little girl. To say she doesn't have time to be sick,is putting it lightly!


Thanks for the prayers. Oh and I don't think I mentioned it...but last April my computer (desk top) crashed...the harddrive. Chad of course was deployed. Last month Chad bought a new hard drive and then we had to order the system recovery discs which took 3 weeks to get here (love it when we pay for over night delivery, we knew it wouldn't get to Germany over night but figured in a fewdays) finally came and my computer is fixed! My best friends husband gave us an extra fan to hook up on the moniter too, because the fan in the computer wasn't big enough for the hard drive that CAME with the computer in the first place! @@ computer's now all fixed. I did come to like the laptop and the convience of it at times so I haven't given it up, but it was a birthday gift for Chad from he should get to use it! :) LOL I have a lot of pictures on the laptop, most I've copied to discs, but there are a few I haven't so I plan on uploading some of them on here! I still need to get the babies last u/s picture scanned and uploaded onto the computer. I need to hook it up though so that the laptop that's on wireless as well (this one is wireless too) can also be hooked up to it! Don't you love technology!


Ok, I'm off to bed.


Oh and for those not in Germany...we have a warning going across our tv's! USAEUR (U.S Army Europe) has put up a warning for all to stay out of Frankfurt Opera Square and Banking district because of extreme left wing demostartions that are taking part tomorrow, there is a good chance of violence breaking out. Most of you probably know, because I've stated it before I'm you could say an "Extreme" Right Winged Conservative  Republican   I told Chad when's the last time you heard of warnings to avoid demonstrations from right-wingers? You don't! Trust me in Europe you don't...the warnings are always about the left wingers. We didn't have plans to go to Frankfurt tomorrow anyways, but since last weekend all military personel, family members, and civilian workers were told to avoid downtown Vecinza because of protests (against the US Army expanding the base there) and possible violence against Americans. I don't know how many showed up in Vecinza, but they were projecting up to 70,000 protesters. Although Germany has it's faults....where there's American military communities you don't find protests. Many Germans work on post and appreciate that us American's spend a great deal of our money on the economy! I don't know why the Italians are so anti-American. I honestly wonder if it's not, not just the extreme leftists, but also the communists that are still VERY strong in power there. (YES the communist party is still quite strong in Italy). We have friends who just got back today from Italy. They were intially supposed to be stationed there and she said she is so glad they didn't. She said the Italians were really rude to them, even when they did their best Italian (Germans are VERY kind most the time, but especially when we attempt to speak their language). She said the drivers were insane (which I've heard many times), but just their demeanor over all was not kind by any means. It's amazig how 2 countries so close to each other can be so different.


Ok, I'm off to bed for real now. It's after 1 am now (1:04 to be precise).

God Bless and for those who are also sick or not feeling well...I pray you feel better.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Our Trip to Rothenburg odT

We went to a wonderful city this weekend, Rothenburg! We loved it!! It's a centuries old city that is still surrounded by a protective wall! The city has of course grown outside of the wall, but what people go to see is of course with in the walls. It's just simply classic old Germany! If you love history like I do, this is an amazing place and even if you're not quite as excited about history like Chad,  you still enjoy it and want to go back! It's truly impossible to see everything in one day. It's actually suggested to stay for a week. We have decided that we're going to take a 4 day weekend and depending on if we have Awana that Sunday we'll definately go up on Thursday when Chad's off work and get a hotel room and stay until Saturday (or Sunday if no Awana) and just really enjoy the city and explore it more and take our time. When my parents come we'll definately be going and by then all the flowers and tree's will have bloomed and I know it'll be even more beautiful!

I'm being lazy tonight and just going to do add pictures through homepage vs FTP. I hope you enjoy. My pictures still just do not justify the wonder of this city! If you EVER have a chance to come to Germany you MUST go to Rothenburg OdT!

BTW the pictures are NOT in order! :)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

@@ Things

Ok for those who don't know what "@@" stands for it means rolling your eyes or eye rolling.

So lately it seems with new people arriving I've been seeing more and more HUGE SUV's. Now I'm already one who honestly can't stand them. I think 99% of the people who have them simply don't need them, but buy them because they're the "cool" thing to have. Most could simply do with a nice compact car. Instead though, they pollute our air, waste tons of gas, and pay outrageous prices for the vehicle (all the while complaining). Now in Germany simply put the country is not made for large vehicles. Parking spaces are made for small, compact cars. I drive a mini van and it's HUGE compared to German vehicles. It's wider and longer. Of course in the states it's like I am driving a compact car compared to all the large SUV's that people continue to buy. People throw fits over gas prices, honestly I do not feel sorry for most people. When driviving a vehicle they simply don't need. Not just SUV's but pick up trucks with 4 Wheel drive or a hemi, etc...99% of Americans don't NEED them or ever use them for WHAT they're INTEDED for. People think if they have a little travel trailor they need a big pick up or don't. A mini van, heck even some compact cars, or just a regular pick up with out the extras (Hemi engine or 4 wheel drive) will pull a travel trailer just fine. Trust me come to Europe and you see these itty bitty cars pulling trailers ten times their size.

Honestly unless you have cattle or horses that you haul around A LOT you don't need these type of vehicles, it's completely unnecessary and waste of gas. Even if you NEVER use 4 wheel drive, you're still wasting gas because it's on your vehicle.

There are some people like my dad who NEED 4 wheel drive and trust me there are times he wishes he didn't. But he has cattle and they live on a farm, it's a necessary evil for their life. He buys and sells cattle. He hauls hay many times in the winter, he hauls gravel by the ton, etc. It's a necessary part of his life. When my parents go anywhere they take my mom's car.

I'm all for American Cars, I think we all should be buying American. I also don't want to whole excuse of "well this foreign company is building their cars in the states", where do you still think that money is going? Who's those high stocks benefitting the most? The foreigners. Why do you think Ford, GM, Crysler are in such bad shape? Because we're buying nonAmericans cars. I do believe they need to be making cars that get better gas milage, that are more affordable, but we can simply look at Michigan and see what we're doing when we buy foreign.


So I'm done with my little rant...Buy American, Buy with Intelligence!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Goodbye My Friend

I was up at 6:20 this morning, and anyone who knows me well knows that does not come easily. I dislike mornings so much. I was over at the Inn where Michelle and her family were staying by 6:45 and the van was loaded by 7 am and everyone was loaded in. We went by the Battalion for Matthew to sign out, for the final time, and we were off. It was such a bittersweet moment pulling through the gate for them one last time, for me knowing it'd be the last time my friend would be with me in my van most likely.

The drive to Nurnburg was quick as always. The beauty of the Autobahn is no speed limit in most area's of it so you can drive very fast and boy do I like to go fast! LOL Trust me this is not something I come by naturally, but on the autobahn it's far more dangerous to be driving less than 70 miles an hour, personally I think it's simply ignornant and simply put if you can't keep up with traffic you shouldn't be driving on it, unless the speed limit's put up there. Our first time in Germany I freaked out driving on the autobahn, so this time around is really big for me that I can drive 90 or even faster and not feel out of control, heck I'm still getting passed by!

So anyways.....we got to the airport got all their luggage on the carts, and inside. We waited for a good 30 or more minutes in line only to find out we were in the wrong stinking line! The next line though was maybe a 10 minute wait, if that! Off upstairs we went and it was time to say goodbye. The moment they got into line the tears started coming, great here they come again. I took some pictures, had Matthew take a picture of Michelle, Rose, and Me, gave all 4 of them hugs, gave Michelle one last hug and she said she was planning on coming back when I have the baby, oh I hope so. I simply can't imagine life over here without her.

None of you know what a life support she's been for me. I love her and I miss her already. A little bit ago I almost called her to tell her to come and look at the playroom (Chad's painting it, he'll finish the last wall tomorrow and it looks AWESOME btw), then it hit me....she's gone. I'm so tempted to just call her number and see if it's disconnected. I know, I know crazy, yet here I am phone close at hand thinking "maybe she's not completely gone". Oh man I wish she wasn't gone.  I wish she were here when our baby was born. She is one of the few people I completely trust to leave my boys with, know that she will love them, not put up with any naughtiness. I know that if she was here when the baby was born, the boys would have stayed with her so Chad could have stayed with me and the baby. We have other friends who I trust to leave my boys with, but she's one of my true heart friends.

She's supposed to email me tonight or tomorrow once she gets to Florida. Her dad is picking them up. They'll land in Florida at 6:30 pm Eastern time, 12:30 am Germany time. They're going to be exhausted. I know they'll probably sleep on the plane, but we all know that's not restful sleep. Not like in a bed. Oh and Rose is sick. She's not even a year old yet, so you know what life's like with a sick baby. She not only has the cold that everyone has (my boys thankfully did not give it to her), she also woke up last night vomitting, and diarreah. Yeah fun huh and think they got on a plane this morning at 9:50 my time and will not get off for the final time until 12:30 AM my time! So if you will, they still have 6 hrs left on the flight, pray that Rose is doing well and that they're all able to get some rest on the plane.

Well, Chad's about to get out of the shower, and we're going to go pick up Chinese. (The place that Michelle introduced me to actually) the boys went to Playmobil with friends of ours for the day and Jacob will be spending the night at their house. Bobbie just called to see if they could take the boys to Pizza Hut (in Nurnburg) and if Jacob could spend the night, so they'll be home in about 1 1/2 hrs. It's been a nice, quiet day. We don't have days without the boys. I LOVE my boys being home. I'm not a mom who wants her kids gone, obviously...I home school and love being with my children. It is nice to have breaks though and I know they're in great hands and having a great time. Chad and I love our time together as a couple and I am so thankful that my husband is my best friend and that I truly enjoy being with him.

Ok I'm off. Thank you for the prayers and warm thoughts. This is probably one of the worst parts of the military, making friends and having to let them go. It's a hazard of our life and well simply put I have not gotten used to it even after 10 yrs of being married in the military. I am so thankful though, if it weren't for the Army and living in Germany I NEVER would have met Michelle and her wonderful family. For that I am so thankful for.

One last thing, I'll try to get the pictures downloaded tonight or tomorrow and will share with you my last moment with Michelle.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


Well Jack woke up burning up, so another dose of Tylenol and although he still coughed all day, it did get better as the day went on and the fever has stayed away. We ended up canceling our dinner and we're going to get together tomorrow afternoon. Michelle and her son were both sick with this same cold Jack has (but they didn't get it from Jack at least or Jacob!!). Anyways I think we're on the mend. I'm doing ok, got a bit of the cold but not too bad. Jacob's pretty well over his cold. I have my ob apt tomorrow so I should have another picture of our new one!


Thanks for the prayers and concerns.


God Bless

Sickness and other stuff

Jack was not doing well last night. I went to check on him on my way to bed and he was burning up and coughing so bad. I got him some cough syrup and some Tylenol and he just sat there zoned out. I asked him if he wanted to come to bed with me and he literally fell into my arms.

He was burning up and laying beside me I swear my own body temp went up 5 degree's from him. He layed there beside me awake but not doing anything for over an hour, often he'd start to drift off and then have a coughing fit. It wasn't a horrible night, but it's such a helpless feeling when you're child is sick. We've been through the worst of childhood sickness with Jordyn and I am not at all one who freaks out when my kids get sick, but there is a small knot that grows into my stomach when they're sick. Jack just seems to be on the edge of the croup and that's what Jordyn had and what had us bring her to the ER the night she was dx. Croup did NOT cause Jordyn's cancer, it's just the childhood illness that got us to the ER, so although I know over all it is a fairly common childhood illness we also had huge issue's with croup with Jordyn. Her windpipes were swollen closed 75%, she was only getting 25% oxygen, so although I know the reality, the emotional aspect of Croup is a little more for me than most.

Anyways, Jack doesn't have croup at this point thankfully. We are cancelling our plans with our friends tonight. They have a little girl who's 10 months old and I don't want to get her sick just in time to get on the plane, wouldn't that be a loving friendship? So.....hopefully Jack will be mending up and we can get together tomorrow. I really want to do one more dinner and play cards with them before they leave. Well it sounds like it's time for another dose of cough syrup Jack's hacking again.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine's Day


Happy Valentine's Day, well it's officially over for us over here in Germany. Chad and the boys got me scrapbooking items, paper, a little teddy bear,  and a beautiful card. Chad and the boys got loaded up on candy and the boys also got little teddy bears.

Wed. are my PWOC day (bible study) but I didn't go. Jack was sick. It started off as a cold, but it's turned into more. He's now battling a fever off and on just does not feel good. Earlier today he was feeling kind of yucky but was still doing an air guitar, shaking that booty, and singing, with in two hours he was burning up cuddled up beside me on the couch and with in two hours after that he was announcing he just didn't feel good.

So...please keep my little guy in your prayers. I'm catching what he has I think and add on morning sickness. I can't breath much (although Jack's nose seems to be a faucet stuck on the on position), have a little cough, and my stomach was hurting earlier. Those who have been pregnant understand the difference in morning sickness and actual sick to the stomach. So if you'd also pray I don't get sick. Chad has a 4 day weekend, so I suppose if I have to get sick this is the time, but I just simply don't want to be.

Saturday I'm taking my friend Michelle and her family to the airport and saying goodbye to her. I hope to get to visit her, possibly when Chad goes back to Iraq. I haven't decided for sure yet, but we've talked about it. I'm going to miss her so much. The last half of the deployment there wasn't a day that went by we didn't talk a few times a day. We'd call each other off and on all day and normally end our evenings talking to each other. We'd get each other normally laughing so hard. We'd spend normally a couple days for a few hours together during the week too. It was actually an adjustment when our hubby's came home to not talk as much. But now she's leaving not only Germany by they're leaving the Army. He'll be a reservists, but it's not the same as Active Duty. The Army's not your day to day life and all it's joys and hardships.

I pray that Michelle, Matt, Austin,and Rose have a wonderful life in Florida and I'm going to miss my friend so much.


Well this definately went off track a bit, not a lot about actual Valentine's Day.


God Bless

Sunday, February 11, 2007


I turned 30 on Friday! It was a great day. My friend took me out to lunch to a great Chinese lunch. Since moving to Germany I've had some gross and some simply "ok" chinese, but Friday I had wonderful Chinese!!! That evening Chad, the boys, and I went downtown. I went shopping and bought a new pair of shoes (which unlike quite a few women I don't have a lot. I lost interest in buying me shoes left and right when I became a Mom and figured I had better ways to spend my money). I also bought me two new tops, that I can grow in! :) Then we went to a great restuarant that we'd not tried before! We also went by and got some ice cream at our favorite ice cream shoppe that's just down the road from post. We actually brought it home because there were so many inside smoking and we were all gagging and my eyes were burning. The one thing I HATE about Germany is the allowed public smoking everywhere. No surprise that I hate smoking and we do our best to avoid it at every try.

Saturday I had my pedicure, which was wonderful! Then I went to the Bazaar and spent more than enough! LOL It was fun. That evening Chad threw me a surprise party! It was at one of our favorite restuarants and was a lot of fun!! Chad's never even attempted to surprise me. Christmas it normally kills me to not tell me what he got me, so this was HUGE! He kept this a secret for over 2 weeks!!! It was so much fun to be with my friends and enjoy my family!

So far 30's being great to me!! LOL

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Pampered Chef Party!!!

I'm shameless :) I'm having an online/book Pampered Chef party this month, so if you'd like any PC items, email me:

I'll send you an invitation! Those who don't know much about Pampered Chef, email me and I'll share with you! I have a lot of their kitchen items and just think it's honestly the best out there. The ice cream scoop is the absolute best! The stones rock. Everything is great!!! Again email me. I will need your first and last name to put it into the official invitation (I send it from the PC website). Any of you that do ask for an invitation, thank you so much!!! I'm wanting the pots and pans and can get them at 50% off! I really need new pans so I was thrilled to find out they were having this sell! Oh also if you're wanting any stones, now is the time to get them! They are 20% off this month and the prices on stones are actually going up, so now is the time to get any you've been wanting!

Monday, February 5, 2007

ABC survey

A     Apple or PC?


B     Banking
Currently we have two banks...where our pay goes into so that's 99% online since it's in KS and we're in Germany, then we have an account here in Germany and we go inside.


C     Coffee and Chocolate! 
Chocolate. I HATE coffee and honestly have no idea how people can swallow it.

D     Dogs.  Do you have one?  If yes, what kind and it's name and why you named it that.  If no, then if you had one what kind would you choose?

Yes we have two, who are staying with my brother while we're living in Germany, and we miss them. They are named BJ and Brittany and they were already named when we got them as puppies.

E     Elvis.  There was only one.  Favorite song, and if you ever or your parents ever, saw him live.

Oh I love him and it is hard to pick one, love his gospel like Lori, but ultimately Love Me Tender (which was also his best movie, now if only that horrible Col. wouldn't have controlled him so much and he'd made better quality movies other than just this one)

F     Flowers. 
Purple Tulips and purple petunia's.

G     Grandparents, do you have any left and if you are one, to how many?

My dad's mom is alive, she's 79, or maybe she turned 80 this past Dec. My mom's dad and his wife (my mom's step mom) is alive.


H     Handy or call for help?

Both, it just depends on what it is. I know my limitations

I     IOU's any out there to a person, a friend or family?

I don't like IOU's and don't blame that game

J     Jello.  Love it?  Hate it?  Favorite flavor?  With whipped cream or cool whip or neither?  I don't love or hate it

K     Kiss.  Do you remember your first real kiss?  Where, who?

Well I was young...the summer before 2nd grade a little boy I think a yr older, Rowdy ((yes that was really his name)  he gave me my first real kiss....but then no more until I was in 7th grade and James A. real kissed (he was my boyfriend) 

L     Language.  Do you speak any others?  Fluently or a little?

I can speak Germany a little and also a very very little French and even less Spanish

M     Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck?

Mickey Mouse 

N     Neighbors.  Do you know their names?  Occupations?  Phone numbers?  Or not?

We live in an apartment building with 8 apts. The neighbor I really disliked moved out officially Friday! The soldier across the hall I know, she works with Chad, I used to have her cell but no clue what it is. The other neighbors I know them all, they're either SAHM's or Housewives or soldiers.

O     Olympics.  Do you watch?  Which is your favorite winter or summer?

I love them! I like winter more, Ice Skating although the majority of them I enjoy. I was very athletic growing up and although I know I have no clue what it took for them to get to the Olympics I can truly appreciate the hard work!!

P     Pluto.  What is your take on the planet being downgraded? 

It doesn't effect me, just weird that it's no longer considered a planet and I'm now teaching Jacob differently.

Q     Quiche.  Have you ever had it?  Do you like it and what is your favorite?

I have tried it and didn't like it.

R     Refrigerator
Name three things in your refrigerator that you think are unusual.

Batteries (lasts longer) Film (lasts longer) that's the only odd things I can think of.

S     Safari.  Have you ever been to Africa on one?  A theme park version?
Never been on either, but would love to do both.

T     Telescope.  Have you ever looked thru a telescope? 

Yes in school I think 6th grade there was a sun eclipse and our science teacher had a VERY VERY high powered, special one and it allowed us to all view it (very cool), in ele. school we got together at our science teacher to watch a meteor shower (again so cool), and in high school I can remember looking again, but can't remember what it was.  


U     Umbrella.  Do youhave one and what is its design?

We have a few (we live in Germany it's mandatory!!) We have 2 black ones, one is a really big whole family can fit under it lol, and the other is a smaller one and then both boys have one each. One has trucks on it and the other has geometric shapes of multi primary colors on it.

V     Vintage.  Do you have a favorite wine to share?  Or drink?Well I can't drink right now, with a baby growing in me and all, but I've found many different types of wine's I love, but won't be drinking any for a couple years

W     Willies.  What gives you the willies?  You know, that shudder you can't stop? Oh there's lots of things! LOL

X     X-ray.  Last one?  What body part and why?

I have had many, but the last one would have been last yr/dental

Y     Yolk.  How do you like your eggs?

Scrambled, it's the ONLY way I like eggs.

Z     Zodiac.  What's your sign and does it fit your personality, in your opinion?

I’m an Acqurius and honestly no clue, because I don't take that stuff seriously think it's pretty rediculous actually. We're who GOD made us, not what stars that again GOD made say we'll be like.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Hmmm...turning 30

I haven't been in the mood to write much lately. Jacob turned 6 as I posted in the previous entry. I can't believe he's 6 yrs old. Those who know our story know that Jacob was not a planned pregnancy and a lot of emotional fear. I truly didn't know if I'd love him, because of the heart ache over losing Jordyn so soon, and when he was born oh how instantly I loved him! I'm so thankful every moment he's been with us.

Friday I'll be turning 30. I'm happy to be turning 30. My 20's I have been through more than women twice to three times my age. I got married at 20, had my first baby, Jordyn at 21, Jordyn was dx with AML  leukemia by the time I was 22, and I buried my baby at 23, found out I was pg with my 2nd child, 1st son at 23 and days before my 24th birthday. I've been through 4 deployments, 2 being Iraq, and had my 3rd child, 2nd son. I got pg with our 4th child at the age of 29 and will have this precious child at 30!

My 20's have definately had a lot of ups and downs. I look forward to my 30's. I pray I have far more up's than downs. I look forward to one more step in my life. Most likely my husband will retire during my 30's from the Army and we'll start a new chapter (unless he stays in past his 20 yr mark which would be perfectly fine by me!), Jacob will hit his teen years. Now if that's not a new phase of life, I don't know what is?!! LOL

Well, I'm planning on enjoying the last few days of my 20's and plan to enjoy my 30's! Friday my birthday, my friend Michelle is taking me out to lunch, and she's having her son watch the boys (he's done it many times). She home schools her son as well so it's nice to have someone to help out during the day when I need it, of course she's leaving in 2 weeks and I'm going to miss her so much.

Life's been so busy here for me lately and I can handle busy to a degree but if I start to feel overwhelmed I simply don't do well with it. I have a lot on my plate right now, extra stuff. I have of course home schooling Jacob, being a SAHM to Jack, wife, house keeper, and well everything that goes with being a full time wife and mother. We have home school library day on Tuesday's, I have PWOC Wed. mornings, then Wed. Night Alive that evening (bible study). Thursday's are normally my down day, and now Friday's I have the video that goes along with my PWOC class.

In the last couple of weeks I've taken on something else though. I'm the new interim FRG leader for our company. FRG is Family Readiness Group (support group for the families). Our unit is going through a huge transition right now and most of that transitioning will be over in April, so I'll be the FRG leader until April. I was not told a great deal of things I'd be dealing with so in all honesty I'm really aggrevated, and feel like I was lied to. I knew it'd be a great deal of work and I can handle that. What I don't appreciate is things thrown on me at the very last minute (and I mean like two days before something needs to be done, or less!). I'm stressed and overwhelmed. The obvious answer is to step down, but the simple answer is there's literally no one willing to take this on. We've had truly poor attendance and attitude from the spouses and we're (my coleader) trying so hard to get the spouses involved and coming to meetings, do things that they'll enjoy as wives and families.

I just ask for some prayers through April. One a good note, we needed a treasurer my first choice called today and said she'd take the position, there was some reasoning behind why she might not have been able to, but I was thrilled to come home from church and hear she could! So that is truly one less stress on me!!!

Ok, I'm off....


God Bless