Friday, April 29, 2005

"Those" Friends

Hopefully some of you if not all of you who come here, have at least one of "those" friends. Those friends who inspire you, challenge you, encourage you, support you, and love you.

I have been blessed through out my life to have quite a few of "those friends". The first one I want to tell you about is, Kelly. We met almost 5 yrs ago, after we both lost our first born child on a support online group. She was direct in her feelings, and well her writing just grabbed me. We were both raw with grief, and had lost our amazing children only days apart. Over the last 5 yrs she's become one of my best friends. I love her more than she may know. She's encouraged me more times than I can count, even when she doesn't know it. She's one of the few people in this world, I can honestly say I've never had a bad thing to say about. You see, one thing bad about me (and there are MANY), but one thing is I'm a gossip. It can be a painful pill to swallow to know this. Her and I have enjoyed many a gab fests friends we both know, or just one of us knows and the other is there to listen with perked ears! Take away that "negative" factor of gossiping, she's an amazing mom. I admire her willingness to share her love and longing for her beautiful son. The way she loves her daughter. I pray one day I'm as great of a mom as she is. One of the most amazing things about Kelly, though is her heart. She has been there for me numerous times, I can't even tell you. Writing about her makes my heart swells.

Kelly, thank you for being my friend. I love you. You're one of "those friends."

The other one I am going to write about tonight, is Emily. We've known each other for about 2 1/2 yrs, since we were both pregnant, her with her oldest and me with my youngest (for now and no I'm not pg!). Emily has a Faith in the Lord that I wish I had when I was her age. She inspires me on a daily basis. She loves her children with a passion. She loves her husband with as much. Her youngest little girl had to be in the hospital for about a month when she was born and although they knew from the time she was 17 weeks this would be the case, she gave her precious child to the Lord and knew one way or another he would heal her. I wish I had had her faith when Jordyn was alive fighting cancer. I told God I gave her to him, but truly in my heart, I didn't. She's been an amazing friend to me. Someone to laugh with, cry with, and just be me with. She loves me for me. Emily, you're one of "those friends".

Tonight, I thank GOD that I'm blessed with both of these amazing women in my life and that I can say with a full heart that they are 2 of my best and dearest friends. I love them and I'm loved by them. God has truly blessed my in the friendship dep. and I praise him for that!


So, write about your "those friends" and link it back to my journal! :)

Happy Birthday To My Hubby!

Today is my hubby, Chad's birthday! He's 30. I know that's not old, and most of you know it's not either. I wasn't sure how he'd do today. He's doing better than I thought he would. Tomorrow I'm throwing him a Surprise Birthday Party! I think about 30 people will be there. I really think he's going to have a great time! I hope so anyways! LOL

I'm going to get him a new battery for his laptop, but we're looking right now for the best priced one! I got him a book: American Soldier by General Tommy Franks, a computer game, Halo, and the boys got him model cars that they can all do together!

I made him lasagna and bought him a cheese cake with strawberry swirls in it.

I'm anxious and excited about tomorrow. I really hope it's a surprise for him and that he has a good time. Pray that he does please! I'll be taking pictures and will try to put some up in a few days!


Have a Great Day!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Kelly's Easy Question of the Week

I'm going to try to be a good friend and do these every week! We'll see! :) Easy - Week #3

"Do you have a favorite show on TV?" Ok, so mine's not as easy as Kelly, I like A LOT of different shows, so I'll just list the ones I hate to miss!

American Idol, Supper Nanny, Nanny 911, ER, West Wing, Judging Amy, 7th Heaven, Reba, American Dreams, Extreme Home Makeover, almost anything on HGTV (I LOVE that channel). I know sad...too much tv, I can say I don't watch all of them every week, to be honest I can't remember the last time I did watch 7th Heaven, I think the week after Lucy had her baby!

Ok, Kelly I answered your questions!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

My handsome "little man"

Here are 6 pictures of my oldest son, Jacob. We got his Spring Preschool pictures today. The pictures range from the time he was 1 through now at 4. We have always called him "our little man". He's growing up just too fast, and I know he's only 4, but before I know it he's going to be 14, then 18 graduating highschool, leaving for college, then graduating there, starting a career, meeting his wife, having children...yes I know I'm all ahead of myself..but I really DO get how fast this time goes by and I wish I could slow it down just a little.

Being a "Thief" LOL

I'm going to be a theif and steal a great post idea from my wonderful, loving, kind, doesn't hold a grudge friend,  Kelly. :)

Kelly made a list of 25 things she likes about herself, so I'm going to challenge myself to this task and challenge all of you as well! :)

1. I'm a Christian

2. I'm a great mom

3. I'm a good wife

4. I love my husband and respect him (most of the time!)

5. I'm a great friend

6. I'm a great listener

7. I volunteer at our church, because I WANT to and not out of guilt!

8. I support my soldier of a husband

9. I'm not afraid to speak my mind

10. I know there are times to shut up

11. I am good at taking pictures of my children

12. I don't complain constantly when my dh is deployed

13. I'm not afraid to travel with my boys and just me!

14. I'm thrifty

15. I was a pretty good student in school, good one in life in general

16. I accept that I can't change things in my life, but admit I don't like them always

17. I love to share Jordyn, her pictures, her story.

18. I am good at wasting time online!

19. I love to read

20. I am good at playing with my kids

21. I'm not afraid to be crazy and dance wildly to make my boys laugh and dance

22. I walk 6-8 miles a week

23. I take my kids outside everyday, as long as the weather is not freezing (even when it is, I still try to take them out for a few minutes)

24. I'm pray for those who ask and don't ask me to!

25. I'm good at being ME.


Whew, that was hard. Let me know if you do this so I can read yours!

Monday, April 25, 2005


Doing my ABC's... If you haven't done this yet, try it and leave me your link ;)

A is for Age: 28
B is for Boyfriend: ummm...I'm married,thankfully done with THAT mess!

C is for Career: The hardest job EVER..SAHM and Wife!
D is for Dad's name: Ken

E is for Essential item to bring to a party: Salad and FF Ranch Dressing
F is for Favorite song at the moment: Held: Natalie Grant

G is for Girlfriend: I'll say Kelly because she reads this! LOL :)

H is for Hometown: .Holton

I is for instruments you play: Used to play the clarinet and bass clarinet and I sing

J is for Jam or Jelly you like: Strawberry

K is for Kids: Jordyn (died at 2 from AML leukemia...would be 7), Jacob, and Jack
L is for Living arrangements: Military housing (a house with a huge yard), with my dh, Chad, 2 boys, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and tons of fish!

M is for Month you were born: February

N is for Name of your best friend(s): Kelly,Tami, Emily, & April

O is for Overnight hospital stays: 3 c-section stays, gallbladder attack

P is for Phobia[s]: no real phobia's, but the thought of someone I love not knowing Jesus breaks my heart.

Q is for Quote you like: "For God Gave his only begotten son": The it!

R is for Relationship that lasted the longest: 8 marriage!

S is for Sexual position: So, not going there!

T is for Time you wake up: when ever the boys wake up, but that changes tomorrow it'll be 7 am to spend time in God's Word
U is for Unique trait: The way I can't keep my mouth shut! LOL
V is for Vegetable you love: Oh it'd be so much easier to say the ones I don't like.

W is for Worst habit: Speaking/typing before I pray, including to my hubby. :(

X is for X-rays you've had: how about we just say a'd take too long to remember and count!

Y is for Yummy food you make: .. I make a killer lasagna and a great stroganoff!

Z is for Zodiac sign: aqurius, but who cares.

How Normal are you?

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<tr><td bgcolor=#66CCFF align=center>
<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'>
<b>You Are 40% Normal

<em>(Somewhat Normal)</em>
<tr><td bgcolor=#FFFFFF>

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<font color="#000000">

While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself</font></td></tr></table>

<div align="center">
<a href="">How Normal Are You?</a>

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Surgery coming

I know, 3 entries in about 1 hr time! Happy reading! Anyways, back to why I'm writing. My dh is going to be having surgery on his knee. The hospital called the house today and I called Chad so he could call them back. He has a consultation with the surgeon on May 2. He has to repair a tear of his miniscus and he has a bone spur, with bone fragments floating around in there.

He's been in so much pain since December. He can't run right now, or do most things he needs and wants to do. He's tired of hurting and not be able to do the things he needs and wants to do.

I'm hopeful this will help him and fix this problem. I am praying he'll have surgery by mid-May, so that when it's time for us to take leave and prepare for Germany he'll be on his way to heal.



The Soldier   It is the soldier not the reporter who has given us freedom of the press   It is the soldier not the poet who has given us freedom of Speech   It is the soldier not the campus organizer who gives us freedom to demonstrate   It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag...   Father Dennis Edwards Obrien  


The Final Inspection


The soldier stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,

It needn't be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod.

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you soldier,

You've borne your burdens well.

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell."

Author Unknown~

Monday, April 18, 2005



Natalie Grant

Two Months is too little

They Let Him Go

They Had No sudden healing

To think that providence

Would Take a child from his mother

While She Prayers, Is Appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued

What has changed and

Why should we be saved from nightmares

We're asking why this happens to us

Who have died to live, it's unfair


This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And You Survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everthing fell

We'd be held


This hand is bitterness

We want to taste it and

Let the hatred numb our sorrows

The wise hand opens slowly

To lilies of the Valley and tomorrow


This is what it means to be held

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And You survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everything fell

We'd be held


If Hope is born of suffering

If this is only the beginning

Can we notwait, for one hour

Watching for our savior


This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everything fell

We'd be Held

(Repeat chorus)


This song has touched me more than I can describe. I'm going to be singing it at our church on Jordyn's 5th anniversary, which just happens to so cruely land on Mother's Day this year. I knew this day would happen, I just wished it wouldn't. I wish I never knew this heartache and pain.


I know in my heart that one day I will be with Jordyn again. I am always held by Jesus. I know that, yet sometimes I still feel like I am falling and wonder when he's going to catch me. I am discovering though, he does it in those little last night as Jacob layed in his bed wimpering because he "missed his sister". Oh how my heart aches for him. He never "met" Jordyn...I found out I was pg with him after she died...yet he knows her. He loves her, and he misses her. He misses the things he'll never get to experience by having that older sister. I ache for him. I ache for both of my boys, because they'll always be missing out on the life of having a big sister.

Yet, he catches me. He shows me that just because he never got to feel her kisses or hugs, or ever got to smell her sweet smell...he loves her. That's what matters. He shows me that our words and love for her, is enough...for him to love her too.

I know Jesus will never leave me or foresake me. I just need reminded of that every once in  while. He gives me my family and friends to show me that HE always holds me up, gets me through every day, and loves me no matter what.

I feel sad for those who don't know Jesus. Who don't know what it's like to have that unconditional love.For those who don't know if they're going to Heaven. That makes me ache.

I'm growing. I see that. I definately find myself going back to stupid habits...but up until just recently I didn't feel sadness for those who didn't know or accept the truth, I felt anger and superiority. I'm no better than anyone else. I just thankfully know the truth.

I wish for all those who are hurting in one way or another they'd know the comfort of being "held."

Saturday, April 16, 2005


Today a friend from church got married. He met his now wife online. They both have been married before and have children. The wedding was simple and beautiful. It truly felt like although the wedding was important, it wasn't about the "wedding" but about their marriage. They each wrote special vows to each others children. I of course was sitting there with the tears just streaming down my face as they each made promises and shared their hopes.

As I watched them look at each other, she was absolutely glowing...the smile truly never left her face the entire day. You could tell she was so happy and just truly excited to be getting married and to be married. He was so happy too, and just kept smiling and laughing!

There is someting about a wedding that makes your heart fill. I looked at my husband and although he's not perfect, I'm thankful he's my husband. God blessed me with him. I'm so thankful for that blessing.


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

St.Baldrick's Event

We had our St.Baldrick's Day event on Saturday and it went really good! We had a total of 16 shavee's, 7 of them were children ages 2-7 yrs! It was a lot of fun. If you are wanting to do something rewarding, fun, with a bit of work, to help childhood cancer research and to know that the dollars are really going to CC research, I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend organizing a St.Baldrick's Day Event/Celebration in your area. So far in the last 5 yrs they've raised over 7 million dollars for research and this year alone they've ALREADY raised over 3 million and not all the events are done and definately not all the dollars have been counted!

The pictures above are of my dh and my son who both shaved their head. I'm so proud of both of them. Of course with hubby being in the Army it wasn't a "huge" sacrifice , but our sweet little man who was bald for the first 2 yrs of his life pretty well and didn't get his first hair cut til after he was 3 1/2 yrs old! LOL This was only his 3rd haircut! LOL

If you're still interested in sponsoring my dh or son, let me know and I'll send you the link to do so!


Thursday, April 7, 2005


I just wanted to let you know I updated my weight loss journal

It was a good week! :)