Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Christmas pictures

Being a "single mom" isn't something I particularly enjoy and although it's not a permanent situation, when Chad's deployed I am living the life of a single parent to a degree and most the time I handle things fine, can do most everything that needs to be done myself, etc...there are times when I miss Chad so much I feel like I'm going to burst, but well that just goes with the territory you.

Christmas Eve and Christmas brought on a new light for myself...assembly required...2 of the most dreaded words any parent can read, much less a mom who's a little more frazzled than a normal Christmas...I had much to wrap since my 2 yr old felt the need to get a sneek peek earlier in the week, it was only a few gifts...but man those were 5 that I already HAD wrapped and now had to rewrap not including all that I still had left! Ugh!

Christmas Eve we did our normal PJ's that they get to unwrap, thanks to a dear friend of mine who sent not only Christmas Eve gifts, but also sent more pj's for the boys since she knew that I've had a hard time finding PJ's for the boys, she was very kind and generous! God's definately blessed me with amazing friends. I also let the boys open up Polar Express DVD so we could watch it together. We took the boys and my niece to see it in the theaters last yr and I'm so glad we went loses a little bit on a smaller screen, but it's still just such a wonderful movie! Oh how I love it! :) I also bought them a Little People's Christmas Story (Nativity Set)'ll only be pulled out during the Christmas season when the tree is set up and will be packed up when the tree is packed up, so that the boys can play with it, then. It's a really cute set and if you have younger children I highly recomment purchasing's well worth the money!


I had made some cookies and put some in baggies and left a bag for each of my neighbors...there's 7 total of us living in our stairwell right now, the apt below me has been empty since the beginning of September.




Those above are some pictures from Christmas Eve of the boys. I thought they were cute and although it looks all cute and easy, Jack was ANYTHING but easy to get into position, but once I got him there then he was a little ham! lol


Here's a few from Christmas morning:


Here's a few of each boy individually.



Jack on his pony                                           Jacob with his Teddy Bear from Jacob


I'll write more and post more pictures later...going to go play with the boys!


I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!


Oh the Rescue Hero Truck was from Daddy for Jacob. He got Jack a Weebles Treehouse. :) Ok so I got them, but they were from Daddy! Jack's Santa gift was the pony and Jacob's was a new bike..Jacob got Jack a beanie baby fish and you see the bear that Jacob LOVES from Jack! He sleeps with it every single night, he loves it so much!


God Bless

Friday, December 23, 2005

Update on last post

Well he called me, and before that he called his Captain and even if he wasn't coming for the VTC he has to go down there anyways now. We didn't hang up on good terms, mostly I was crying as he tried to explain away him being a butt head. I love that man, he sure does know how to get me though. I know I'm the same with him.

I'm going to go to bed as soon as the boys do. I have tons to do, but it's just going to have to wait until tomorrow.

Darned if you do and don't

I know the saying's another word, but I don't is as bad as it gets.

I got a call last night saying that we were going to get to video teleconference with our hubby's over the weekend, exciting right. I called this morning and set up a time, not sure if my husband would even get to, because he's not with the rest of his battalion, he's located in another place so he can do his job better/easier.

I was down transferring laundry from the washers to the dryers and come upstairs and could hear the chime of yahoo msg and knew it must be Chad. Jacob was on here typing out his name so Daddy would know someone was here and he wouldn't get off. Good/smart boy I have huh?!

I get on and read what my dear husband's him saying that he thinks I need to think if I realy want him to travel the 2 1/2 hrs (funny he'd told me before it was between 30 min-1 hr travel time) in HARMS WAY to go where the rest of his bn are so he can do this. He said, "I'll do it, but remember I will not be safe and I will be in harms way and who knows what will happen". Nice huh? When I got the call last night and made the time apt I told the ladies who I talked to I wasn't holding my breath because I didn't figure Chad would get to participate in it, but the Colonel said EVERYONE would get to, so I took a chance and said ok.

He thinks I want him in harms way, for a 15 minute teleconference. Of course I'd love to see him on a nice flat screen I think it's 35 inch tv, but seeing him on my 17" flat screen computer is fine when he's able to use his webcam.

I told him not to go, because if something would happen to their convoy I don't want that kind of guilt on me. My gosh, it's hard enough having him over there, and I support our troops being there. A lot of things were said that were not especially nice. He more or less "hung up on me" by just getting off and it's not like I can force him back on the computer. He says he's going to be there tomorrow. If I don't go then he thinks it's because I don't love him or want to see him, and oh I am so stubborn.

So I get to sit here for the rest of the night in tears and worry about him. He also told me that he intended on coming the whole time, which just infuriates me that he'd then put that type of guilt on me to start off with. Chad's a great guy over all, but man he can still be a jerk at times and this is just one of those times. See even when they're deployed you can still get mad at them.

I'm exhausted. I think I'm getting sick...all day I've just felt worn out and I got a fairly decent nights sleep last night, but I have just been dragging all day. Oh and I have to make dinner, great.

Uplifting entry tonight huh...and think 2 more days til Christmas. I'm starting to think emotionally Christmas is not going to feel very happy. My focus isn't quite on Jesus at this moment. I need to go read my bible for a while, if anyone can lift me out of this fog it's Jesus.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Teach Your Children

This is how it happened . I just finished the household chores for
the night and was preparing to go to bed, when I heard a noise in the
front of the house.  I opened the door to the front room and to my
surprise, Santa himself stepped out from behind the Christmas tree.

He placed his finger over his mouth so I would not cry out.  "What
are you doing?" I started to ask.  The words choked up in my throat,
and I saw he had tears in his eyes.  His usual jolly manner was gone.
Gone was the eager, boisterous soul we all know.

He then answered me with a simple statement.  "TEACH THE CHILDREN."

I was puzzled; what did he mean?  He anticipated my question, and
with one quick movement brought forth a miniature toy bag from behind
the tree.  As I stood bewildered, Santa said, "Teach the children! Teach
them the old meaning of Christmas.  The meaning that now-a-days
Christmas has forgotten."

Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a FIR TREE and placed it
before the mantle.  "Teach the children that the pure green color of
the stately fir tree remains green all year around, depicting the
everlasting hope of mankind, all the needles point heavenward, making
it a symbol of man's thoughts turning toward heaven."

He again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant STAR. "Teach the
children that the star was the heavenly sign of promises
long ago.  God promised a Savior for the world, and the star was the
sign of fulfillment of His promise."

He then reached into his bag and pulled out a CANDLE.  "Teach the
children that the candle symbolizes that Christ is the light of the
world, and when we see this great light we are reminded of HE who
displaces the darkness."

Once again he reached into his bag and removed a WREATH and placed it on the tree.  "Teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the real
nature of love.  Real love never ceases.  Love is one continuous
round of affection."

He then pulled from his bag an ornament of himself.  "Teach the
children that I, Santa Clause symbolize the generosity and good will
we feel during the month of December."

He then brought out a HOLLY LEAF.  "Teach the children that the holly
plant represents immortality.  It represents the crown of thorns
worn by our Savior.  The red holly represents the blood shed by Him."

Next he pulled from his bag a GIFT and said, "Teach the children that
God so loved the world that HE gave HIS begotten SON . thanks be to
God for his unspeakable gift."

"Teach the children that the wise men bowed before the Holy BABE and
presented HIM with gold, frankincense and myrrh.  We should always
give gifts in the same spirit of the wise men."

Santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a CANDY CANE and hung it
on the tree. "Teach the children that the candy cane represents the
shepherds' crook.  The crook on the staff helps to bring back strayed
sheep to the flock.  The candy cane is the symbol that we are our
brother's keeper."

He reached in again and pulled out an ANGEL.  "Teach the children
that it was the angels that heralded in the glorious news of the
Savior's birth.  The angels sang "Glory to God in the highest, on
earth peace and good will toward men."

Suddenly I heard a soft twinkling sound, and from his bag he pulled
out a BELL.  "Teach the children that as the lost sheep are found by
the sounds of the bell, it should ring mankind to the fold.  The bell
symbolizes guidance and return."

Santa looked back and was pleased.  He looked back at me and I saw
that the twinkle was back in his eyes.  He said, "Remember, teach the
children the true meaning of Christmas and do not put me in the
center, for I am but a humble servant of the One that is, and I bow
down to worship HIM, our LORD, our GOD."

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Cure Search

Childhood Cancer MUST STOP: CureSearch 

Not one single parent should know what it's like to hear these words "We're so sorry, but _______ (your child's name) has _________ ( type of cancer here).

I can tell you that's the 2nd worst thing you can be told....

The worst: "I'm sorry but there's just nothing medically left to do."

If you want to take a stand on a killer, this is the one. It's killing more children than ANY OTHER DISEASE COMBINED. This is NOT ok. A child should bury their parent, not the other way around.

Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation National Office ... because kids ca

Learn the signs of Childhood Cancer:

Gold Ribbons

Continued, unexplained weight loss
Headaches, often with vomiting, at night or early morning
 Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones,
joints, back, or legs
Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest,
pelvis, or armpits
Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash

Constant infections
A whitish color behind the pupil
Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea
Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness
Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist
Recurrent fevers of unknown origin

Did you know... since most of the symptoms of cancer can also be attributed to benign conditions, the diagnosis of cancer can be a long process. As a parent, you must trust your own instinct and work as a team with your doctor, using your knowledge of your child and your doctor's knowledge of medicine to protect your child's health.




Monday, December 19, 2005

I actually found these on Lelly journal and thought I'd do them! :)


1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?  Hot chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? This year we're doing this gift from Santa and they will not be wrapped (in the past they've had quite a few from Santa)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? COLORED on the tree and when we do the outside blue swag

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, it's poisonous and never been a tradition in our family :)

5. When do you put your decorations up?  Normally within 2 days after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Turkey or home made noodles...a tie!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
 Being sent to bed with the anticipation of Santa, my brother and I one of us going into the others room, not being able to sleep or just drifting in and out then waking at horrible hour in the morning (3 or 4 am), waking my parents, and screaming in delight (then being sent BACK to bed...we only did the 3 am once! LOL)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 9 or 10 yrs old

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? My boys open up 1 gift...pj's, although this year they're also going to get to open up the movie Polar Express so we can cozy up on the couch and watch it!


10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? It's often a mixture of choc. chip, sugar, no bake...Jacob has always been the one to decide, soon Jack will be voicing in too!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? LOVE IT!!!!!!!

12. Can you ice skate?
Not very good and it's been at least 12 or more years.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a child, it was my barbie dream house. As an adult it'd be the butterfly necklace Jacob picked out for me all on his own last year! He was so proud and excited to get it for me!!!!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Focusing on Jesus.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
 Chocolate Pie with Whipped Cream

16. What is your favorite holiday song? Jingle Bells (secular is what I'm guessing this question is going for) Jordyn would sing this song all the time, well she hummed it

17. What tops your tree?
an angel

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? Giving..

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night

 20. Candy Canes? I don't like eating them, but I do like them on the tree and my boys love eating them.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Mom's night out

Last night we had a Mom's night out, which included free childcare for mom's (or dad's) with a spouce deployed to Iraq or Afganastan. My friend Jenny and I went out together! Childcare was from 6-midnight. We dropped our kids off, and off we went downtown to this beautiful city we're a part of. First we decided to do a little shopping and went into a store: C& it! The prices are AWESOME! I got me 2 sweater's, one for 19 Euro and one for 12 Euro and a really cute top for 19 euro. Jenny got her a little outfit for when her hubby comes home! :) It's pretty and she'll need a coat to go over the top unless she can find something to go under it!! LOL Then we went upstairs and I got Jacob some much needed tops, a couple sweaters and a couple shirts and found a little shirt combo for Jackson (shirt ontop of shirt)...nothing was more than 14 Euro, couple things were 7 Euro! I know where I'll be shopping from now on for my boys and clothes! I really love the quality of clothes here in Germany in general and loved the clothes and prices at C&A! So we left there, ok we were getting a little hurried out of there because it was 8:00 and they were closing (they are open late for a German store on a Saturday...but it's Christmas time so a lot of places stay open, well they're allowed to stay open later!) Then....we went and found a place to eat! It was a "steakhouse" you could call it, well that's what they called it....American's wouldn't call it that! My steak which 3/4 was great was supposed to be well done (if there's pink in it at all, it's not done in MY book!)...Jenny ordered hers med-well (hers was WELL DONE, nearly burnt, tough, yuck!) well that last bit of mine was most definately on the med-well done side, closer to just medium, so Jenny at the rest of it! more having to look at pink! We had both ordered our drinks earlier me a sprite her a water...then we decided to get something a little more "dangerous" I can't tell you the last time I had alcohol. I have felt no need for it to be honest and no desire and it's been a couple yrs for Jenny as well....I ordered a fruity drink *Sex on the Beach*  :X remembering that in my much much younger (and yes illegal to drink) was one I had enjoyed quite a bit, Jenny ordered a white russian. The first drink I took, about knocked me on the floor. When not drinking after many years, you forget about that whole "stirring" it up...yes so I got a big drink of alcohol...whew baby I could feel it immediately. I drank about 3/4 of it, and my head was quite heavy and I was so giggly...we just kept laughing, talking about everything, interrupting each other with our own stories and cracking up with each other. Then we decided it'd be smart to go outside for a walk in the very cold and just finished snowing air and admire the beauty that we're living in. We seemed to "sober" up so quickly. We walked for a good hour or more. We got back to the CDC center and it was 11 pm...I couldn't believe we'd be out so late (I figured we'd be back by 10!). I felt horrible and like a very bad mommy, and of course was really hoping my children would be fast asleep...oh no they were bright eyed and still going. We stood talking to Scott who is the director of the Child Youth Services and is in charge of the mom's night (and days) out for us, anyways we talked to him for a good 30 minutes...Jack walked by the door and saw me and was so excited to see me and I was so happy to see him! He was yelling for Jacob "lets go, Mommy here, lets go!" We came home and he was wired. We changed into our pj's, sat on the couch to read our chapter from "Prince Caspian" from the Chronicles of Narnia, and they were fast asleep. Jack woke up about 7:45 (ugh), Jacob didn't wake until 8...and then asked if I'd just snuggle with him (he'd crawled into bed with me) we snuggled. We finally popped out of bed about 15 minutes later and the rush was on...I had a 9 am hair apt! So I got the boys dressed, grabbed 4 frozen waffles, stuffed them into a baggy and we rushed out the door and I dropped the boys off at Jenny's (who fed them toasted waffles! LOL) and I made it to my hair apt right on time....except there was a glitch...we'd had a nice little snow/ice storm yesterday and my hairdresser's doors were frozen shut...she didn't get there until 10! So I waited and just read a magazine and talked to the other ladies! Got my hair cut...about 4 or 5 inches cut off, layered, and eye brows waxed...oops should have done that sooner! :) I left with the thought of possibly coloring or highlighting my hair. I "might" do highlights, we'll see. I have dark brown hair, thinking either light brown highlights or dark blonde. I really like the color of my hair, but I think it would look I will think about it for a couple weeks. I went and picked up the boys, and went and got their hair cuts! This is only Jack's 2nd haircut and it's a good month at least past needing it done, mostly around the ears, but the back was getting a little long for my liking. Jacob needed it around his ears as well...they both look so handsome! I took some pictures of them in front of the tree tonight, I'll post them tomorrow.

This evening we just vegged out, watched Brother bear, had pizza, a lot of giggling and tickling. We watched Eloise Saved Christmas (I think that was the name of it...I know it was Eloise!) it was cute. It ended at it was story time, then off to dreamland, and laundry time for me! LOL I have 2 loads left in the dryers and then it's off to bed for me too.

It's been a good and fun past 2 days! Oh and my best friends husband was able to walk me through and get things fixed so that my microphone works when having the webcam on chatting with Chad! I've been able to hear him, but he couldn't hear us! It was an easy fix, but it was inside the MSN program, and so that's all fixed now! Yeah!!

Hopefully Chad will get a chance to get online tomorrow!

Monday, December 12, 2005

I Got Tagged :)

Well my Dear Louie has tagged me.

List 10 things that make me happy:

1. My husband...

2. My 3 children, I wouldn't be who I am without them.

3. Jesus....need I say more?

4. Chocolate :)

5. Living in Germany. I love it here, this is exactly where we are supposed to be right now.

6. Good friends, there's nothing like sitting down and talking to a good friend whether it's in person, on the phone, or online. God's blessed me so much with friends.

7. My women's bible study. I look forward to it every Wednesday

8. When my 4 yr old explained that "Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus"

9. Listening to my boys play, you never know if they're going to love each other or tolerate each other when the younger one is born....they LOVE each other!

10. Christian gets my soul going


I'm tagging 5 people: Kelly(2) Charley Betty  Lelly Traci 

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Dona asks

Easy -- Week #30

Easy -- like Sunday morning!

Winter can bring on some extreme weather in many regions around the world. Here in Idaho it is 20 degrees outside and an icy blanket of frost blankets the frozen ground. Looking out my window at this frosty landscape got me thinking.

Tell me...

What is the most extreme place you have ever visited?

Hmmm, I've lived in quite a few states, of course most of them I lived in before I was even 5, so there's not a lot of weather/temp memories. I think really Kansas, just for the fact that the temp. can change so quickly and so extreme. I remember in Dec. '95 the temps were so frigid...Neg 60 with the windchill and tons of snow on the ground. The summers get hot and they're humid!


Of course here in Germany the weather can change in a blink of an eye. When I first arrived here in mid/late July we stepped off the plane and it was in the high 50's/low 60's....3 days later it was in the 90's!

Go figure...I'm just a girl that likes to live in places where the weather is unpredictable! LOL

Krissy's Photo Scavenger Hunt

  Photo Scavenger Hunt #53

Photo Scavenger Hunt (Krissy's from Sometimes I Think)

#53 will be due Sunday, December 11, 2005 at 11:00 P.M. EST.

CATEGORY:  Angels or Snowmen

Please post a link to your entry in your journal here.

Thanks and have fun!

Here's mine! :)


                Here's my snowman that I got at the Nurenburg Christkindlemarket on Friday


Here's "My "Angel" " Jordyn....

Patrick's Saturday SixPack

I don't these very often, mostly because I forget :( but thanks to Charley I'm doing it, I highly suggest visiting Charley journal and I really enjoyed his answers!

Here's the link to Patrick's blog: Patrick's Weekender

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. You're producing a school program for the holidays and you learn that there will be major objections if you include in your musical selections the traditional Christmas hymns that reference the "true meaning of Christmas." Assuming that there are secular tunes (like "Frosty the Snowman") already included in the program, what do you do with the hymns? Do you allow them to go as is, do you use the melody and rewrite the words, do you include as many pieces of music from other religions as possible, or do you remove all but the secular songs? If they don't like it, they can leave is my thoughts, they want to teach their children that CHRISTmas is about being selfish, self-absorbed, and just all about them, fine they dont' have to participate.CHRISTmas is about CHRIST, it's not about shopping, eating, toys, etc. It's about the gift of LIFE. It's about Christ being born so that he could one day die for ALL OF US, so that if we accept him as our savior we can enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, despite our sins. It's time that our Great Nation stops being so P.C constantly, most importantly at Christmas time.

2. What percentage of your Christmas shopping is done at this point? When do you expect to have it finished if you haven't already finished? 100%

3. What was your favorite board game to play as a kid? Is it still your favorite now? As a little kid I loved Operation. Now it's Sequince

4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What famous artist should paint your portrait? Edvard Munch should paint your portrait.  You are a very emotional person.  You are always up for a good talk with one of your friends.  You don't like to keep things bottled up.  Often, you are friendly and outgoing, but that can change very easily to being introverted and cold.

5. How accurate is this quiz's description of you? It's pretty accurate.

6. If you could go back in time and have one more picture taken with a deceased loved one, who would you select and why? Yeah that's easy...Jordyn


Friday, December 9, 2005

Christmas Market


Ok well because I'm me, and I'm forgetful...I left my camera on the charger this morning (since I wanted to make sure it was all charged up for taking pictures...haha!)

One of the ladies who went took pictures and said she'll email the pictures, she said it may take her while...and honestly I'm hoping that I can get back down there before the 20th and just explore and take pictures! I'm also going to go to our town's Christmas market and get some I'll post them. Nurenburg's Christmas Market...all I can say is WOW! I didn't get to see all of it, I believe I saw the "main" part, but there was a whole other section that I didn't get to see! :( It's just huge! AND.......WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Anyways......I found some great things! I got a really a very tall Nutcracker for our family, a small round nutcracker for my friend's son who just loves them! I got 3 for me, he's a wonderful snowman, a fisherman for Chad, and one who's sewing for my mom (yesterday was her birthday!) I also got 2 German porclein dolls for my nieces, and...I got me the cutest snowman Christmas ornament who's arms and legs move when you pull the string! I love those things! He's already hanging on our tree!

Here's the pictures of what I got today! :)


The first nutcracker is for my friends son who loves them. He's very unique with a beautiful glittery paint finish. Great price for the quality. The tall one is our family's 1st Nutcracker and lots of nice little details (the crisscrosses for example), he was only about $33.00! :) The doll is part of a set for my nieces.


This is my beloved snowman ornament up close. These are all the finds I got today. The front 3 are what's called "Smokers" You put these unique type of incence in them and light them and smokes comes out their mouths! The fisherman is for Chad, the snowman is mine, and the one at the sewing machine is for my mom!



Here's my snowman ornament from more of a distance. I LOVE Snowmen!


Thursday, December 8, 2005

German Christmas Market's

Tomorrow I'm excited to be going to Nurenburg to the Christmas Market! Here's a link, it's a few yrs old but it will give you an idea!

I have decent amount of Euro's to take with me tomorrow, so hopefully I can find some really cool and original German things! :) I will take some pictures tomorrow and put them up here to show all of you what it all looks like! :)

Oh and the boys will be in childcare (it's free!!) and Jacob has Basketball pictures tomorrow evening, he starts practise in January! :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Ah the joy

I know it's been a while, life's been a little crazy and hectic here! I'm helping one of my neighbors until she moves to another post (single new mom). She's supposed to have her orders this week, but we'll see it is the Army! :) The extra money has been really nice though. On Friday I was watching the baby and feeding him while my boys were playing in the playroom....I could hear them playing and didn't think much of it. Then out came Jack....with paint all over his face (Nooooooooooooo! LOL) Fingerpainting, no, how did they get fingerpaint? Jacob had snuck into the bathroom to get cleaned up, because he knew he'd be in trouble. I walked into the playroom to look at the damage, it was far worse than I thought.....



What you don't see is the rest of the radiator or the window or all of the floor, or the toys or the book they also painted, and as you can see I had about half the table on the way to being cleaned off, actually that was Jacob's job to wipe the table down. Jack attempted to clean, but only seemed to make a bigger mess so he was sent away! I did get it all cleaned up, unfortunately the radiator now has a green tent and the wall right behind the radiator (under the window ) still has paint on it and it's not coming off! Ahhh! Thankfully we can get paint for free from self-help so come this spring the wall and radiator will be repainted, the RIGHT color! It's not been even a week and I can life and smile about it, but Friday it was no laughing was over all just one of those days.

Not including the one baby I'm watching right now, I've also been watching my neighbors (right across the hall) her baby. He's 4 wks old right now and when she returns to work (she's also a single soldier and his dad is also in Iraq..both are in Chad's unit) I'll start watching him until April when she's taking him to her mom, she may or may not have to deploy. I know I could never leave my children, so I'm really not understanding her logic behind leaving her baby if she DOES NOT deploy, but the fact is, he's not my child and it's not my decision. Anyways I've been watching him for a couple hrs here and there for the past couple of weeks while his mom runs to apts (it's verycold here), she doesn't have a drivers license (she took the test, just  never went and got it while living in the states and without a state license you can't get a license over here!) so she has to walk everywhere...the post is small so it's not that big of a deal, but still! The extra money has been great! I've been able to have enough money that I didn't have to use hardly any of our military pay for Christmas gifts! Friday I'm going to Nuremburg to the Christmas Market, which is the 2nd oldest and largest/most popular Christmas Market in Germany! I'm excited! Childcare is provided, so my boys are taken care of for the day!!!

Here's a picture of our post Christmas Tree. I know the picture isn't the best. The tree is huge. I'm hoping to get the boys up there this coming weekend and get some pictures of them in front of it.


Saturday I picked up my friend J and with my boys and her 2 girls and we all went shopping! We went to our local Christmas Market, I got almost all of my Christmas shopping done there (family's) and then we went up to Wurzburg to the PX and finished shopping! I have all our family's gifts wrapped and I'm mailing it tomorrow. I'm planning on wrapping the rests of the gifts throughout the rest of this week and hopefully will have presents under the tree by this weekend. Of course I may have to figure something out with Jack, since he already unwrapped little gifts that are to family! Ugh! So goes being 2 huh! :)


Thursday, December 1, 2005

Krissy'sPhoto Scavenger Hunt

New Home for Krissy's Photo Scavenger Hunts :)

WELCOME ALL! I'm going to be running Krissy's photo scavenger hunts for a little bit. Here's the why

Here's this week's:

This Week's Photo Scavenger Hunt (#52) will be due on Sunday,  December 4, at 11 PM EST.  

When  you have completed your entry, please leave a link to it in  MY journal Of mini-paws and menopause.  Do not leave the link to your entry in KRISSY'S journal.   

Category:  Gift


Chad had just returned from Iraq....that was the best gift we all recieved that year!



Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Today's thoughts...

Well I didn't get a lot of sleep and the boys woke up (and me) at 8:30. This would normally would be a dream, but today not so much....Wednesday's are bible study day and I LOVE my PWOC days. I NEED this middle of the week, getting down deep, study GOD's desires for me, etc.

So with that, here goes something that I think about A LOT. I do NOT expect everyone or ANYONE for that matter to agree with me, but these are my thoughts and beliefs and honestly I do not care if anyone but Chad and God agree with me!

I am going to homeschool our boys. Now for how long I don't know, I have not started this yet, so I do not know how well it'll work out. I have 100% confidence as does Chad that at least for the first 2 or 3 yrs this is how we want to do this. Chad believes in me and in our boys that we can all do this successful. We have discussed that when he's home there will be subjects that Daddy will be the primary teacher (mathmatics and art) but there are times when Mommy is just going to have to do that!

Now with that said, I most definately don't expect others to agree (much less my own parents) and I don't expect everyone else to feel that God's placed it on their hearts to Homeschool, but we do feel this for our family. What really ticks me off though is when others think they have a RIGHT to add their 2 cents in on OUR decision, when in fact it's most definately none of their business. We have our own reasons WHY we're doing this and again we have NO reason why we need to explain those reasons, even though it seems many who do not agree think we OWE it to them.

Now you see the big thing is, homeschoolings not my actual rant today! LOL My annoyance is from some IRL friends over here in Germany that think they can and should question our decision NOT to send Jacob to preschool this year. He went last yr and he did enjoy it, yet it was a lot for a 3/4 yr old to go to school for 4 days a week 3 hrs a day, imo that was too much sometimes. Here they go 5 days a week for 3 hrs. I honestly have no desire to send my child off to a place where I hear parents DAILY tell me that "well they actually don't learn anything, it's more of a playtime" why would I willingly PAY someone quite a bit of money for 15 hrs of PLAYTIME???? That makes about NO SENSE to me. We are thinking about putting Jacob's name on the German preschool list, where they speak souly German, it is also more of a playtime, but he would be learning German andTHAT is VERY important to both Chad and I, and the benefits would be great. PLUS they're cheaper than the military preschool, he could go all day long or only an hour everyday, he could go once a week, twice a's all up to me, and if he's not going to be there I don't have to call and inform them...and again the cost is less. Seems far more logical imho that if my child's going to be away from me during the week "playing" he be learning something that will hopefully stay with him for a lifetime to a degree at least!

So anyways, there's the vent. I don't understand why some parents feel it necessary to try to "talk" other parents "into" sending their child to preschool, public school, sports, etc..if that parent does not want to, has stated that fact VERY firmly, etc.

I feel very strongly that children need to be around other children that is not blood related. They need to learn to develop relationships outside of mom, dad, and siblings. I also believe that they do not need to go to school to do today's world there are just so many other options for them to be socialized. My boys are very well rounded children, if I say so myself, very intelligent part of that is God-given natural intelligence, part of that is God-given "learned"! I have worked hard with my children to teach them things. I work hard in letting them play on their own, because it's NOT my job to entertain them 100% of the time. They must learn to play on their own, have their own imaginations, thoughts, creativity, etc. Are my kids perfect, my goodness no...I've yet to meet a perfect child and I'm afraid if I did I probably wouldn't like that child so much or would feel so my sympathy for that child and/or the parents I'd melt in tears.

What I know is that as a mother I have to do what I feel is best for my children. I listen to others, I read books, magazines, and the internet, I watch my children in what they are doing, what they are saying, etc, and most of all I seek GOD. He is the ultimate teacher and father. He knows my abilities so who am I to doubt him or question him? I already do enough of that and when I truly feel he's leading me in a direction that initially I was scared to death of, but that finally I'm starting to feel that I CAN do this and that I realize God will help me though it why do "friends" want to try and put doubt in there? I don't get it. I suppose they think they're helping.

So what brought this on you ask! Good question! LOL A friend of mine who's child is in preschool, but is a yr younger than Jacob brought me a letter because the preschool's getting a new teacher, she thought I might want to think about putting Jacob in there because the new teacher is someone I know and like. What she doesn't get is that it's not about "liking or not liking" the teacher. It's about the fact that we don't feel Jacob needs to be in preschool this year. I am THRILLED that I don't have to rush out the door at a certain time to pick up Jacob otherwise I'm charged a dollar a minute that I'm late. I like knowing that I get to watch my son learn new things daily. I love knowing that I am the one helping him learn to read, that I'm the one who gets to see that spark in his eye as he learns new words, as he learns that 4+4 is 8 (he did that today withOUT counting on his fingers!!). I love being a SAHM. My calling is to be a mom. It's not to work outside the home. This is where GOD wants ME to be. I do have a VERY hard time with this same friend tells me that she can't WAIT for her children to be older and in school so she can get a break and get away from her kids and have her own life. Honestly that statement stabs me in the heart, it breaks my heart into so many tiny pieces and I've heard it from so many other women and I just don't understand it. I can say "well it's because we lost Jordyn and know how precious this time is" yes that is part of it, but even without losing her, I knew how precious my time was with her. I LOVED seeing every moment with her. I loved hearing her first words, seeing her scoot for the first time, first smile, first steps..I got all those first with her, and there were so many more than I will never have with her. With my boys even at 2 and 4 there are still so many firsts to come and I don't want to miss them. I may miss some, but I think for the majority of them I'll get to see and experience those firsts in front of my own eyes. I am in no rush for my boys to grow up, not a single day. I love them as they are and cherish them. Do I get tired, of course I do. Do I sometimes count down the hours, minutes, SECONDS until they go to bed for the night..of course (especially with Chad deployed!)...but even on the worst days, of feeling like I just can't do this alone anymore...I can and I will and I'll love it. We get 18 yrs of them, by law we're responsible for them for 18 yrs, maybe they'll stay home a little longer maybe but who knows, what I do know is that given the average life span is OVER 70 yrs 18 yrs is not very much in the big picture, it's a moment...truly it's a very small moment of their life...but it's one of the most important "moments" and I don't want to spend it wishing it away. I don't want to spend it off at a job, "believing" that their first smile really came between the hours of 5-8 pm when we're home together and before they go to bed. I don't want a virtual stranger telling me they took a very woobly step, and honestly I don't want someone else to teach them to learn to read their first sentence...I want that. Selfish, absolutely...what I believe God wants for our family, most definatley. Do I look down on others for their decisions. I don't feel like I do. I may not agree completely or at all with them, but the fact is it's not my choice when it comes to their children unless their abusing them and causing undue harm (then it's my job to step in and contact authorities, etc).

Now to end's been a good day! It really has. I LOVED bible study today, and although I was soo tired this morning I'm so happy I got up, got dressed, and went! I have booked my boys into the hourly care program for a shopping day out and a mother's night out....two days of free childcare with people I know love kids and I'll be able to get some things done that I want and do somethings for just me, which I think is also important!

God Bless

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Sometimes don't you just feel blah? I'm sitting here wide awake, which is insane since I got up at 6 am and babysat a 2 month old until 3:30 and for 2 hrs this morning watched my friends little girl while she had a root canel done and then this afternoon for about 3 hrs watched my other neighbors 3 wk old while she went to apts and didn't want to have to drag him out in the frigid cold. I made GREAT money and seriously God really provided for us when we REALLY,REALLY needed it. I just feel so in awe of God and so unworthy of his love and grace and tenderness to me. For the first time I really and truly gave him our financial burdens. In the past Chad's always managed to take care of us, when we've gotten into a rut he's managed to get us out somehow...he's a provider and he's always done that for us. With him in Iraq I knew that I truly just had to give this to GOD and let silly that I've never gave it truly over to him, because I've seen him take care of us in so many ways over and over, and I know that Chad's done this yet I personally have never said "Take this God, just take it"...never I guess had to, because Chad was the willing one. So I did and he provided. He provided above and beyond too. I was able to get groceries that will for the most part cover us for the next 3 weeks or more other than those few odd and ends and the fact that I LEFT my list at home (grrr) so I didn't get quite everything...yet walking out of the store I still had 30.00 left! Now are you seeing how awesome GOD provided for our family? In a big way and he did it pretty well all today..I watched the 2 month old the last 2 days, but monetarily he provided it ALL today and I just sat here today in shock and awe!

So now, why I feel so blah I really don't know. I know I need to do my bible study for tomorrow. I've just had 2 weeks, how foolish of me to wait, but it's very typical of me. I really need to stop doing this and spend far more time with the Lord daily, and not just in prayer but in his word.

I need to figure out something else for bedtime as well, the boys are really getting difficult, ok it's mostly Jackson. He's 2, so that really explains a lot of it doesn't it, yet it's so frustrating. I need to get the next book in The Chronicles of Narnia...because normally with in a few pages of the chapter he's out,  but well I haven't gotten it with money being tight, the books aren't a lot, but sometimes 10.00 I can use towards some food or gas or giving to church things that I just feel are more important than the book. Of course I could probably just check it out at the library, but that thought literally just crossed my mind. I guess because I had decided we'd just buy the series so we would have them and that over the years the boys could read them. Anyways, I just have to figure out something with the bedtime routine, it's not working right now and I'm getting very frustrated when 30 minutes, 45 minutes, 60 minutes later Jack is still getting out of bed, either running into my room to see our cat, getting up and just playing, getting up and sitting on the floor looking at a book, climbing up to the top bunk in with Jacob, which then gets Jacob going. Ahhhh, so frustrating. By the time bedtime comes around I really, really don't like to admit this, but I'm just ready for them to be in bed so I can have some quiet time alone. Oh I don't like how that sounds. I LOVE my children and love them being up and around me, but I know that with Chad being gone it just makes life a little more difficult.

Ok...tomorrow I plan on posting some new pictures, some more snow pictures (because we got more snow!) and some pictures of the boys in front of the CHRISTMAS (not holiday @@@@ that's a whole other post, but seriously it's just so beyond stupid I'm just oh it's just stupid!)'s their favorite place and daily ask to have their picture in front of it, both of them! It's so funny! Tonight Jack sat down in front of and said "picture, picture of me!" seriously how cute is that?!!

Ok, time to get going and read, then drift off to sleep.


God Bless

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Robin's 5'er

Ok here's Robin weekly, answer these questions in YOUR journal and then link it back to  Robin's journal....the link to this partilcuarl entry all you have to do is click on the

"5er" below :) Have fun!!!


Now for the game. If you want to play all you do is cut and paste these questions into your journal. When you have answered them come back and leave a link in my comment section.  On the following Friday I will post your links and a new set ofquestions! Have fun!

1. Do you already have your Christmas tree up? If so when did you put it up? If not when will you put it up?

Yes! I put it up tonight!!!!

2. Do you have any particular theme when it comes to decorating your tree? Maybe you do all Disney ornaments? Only blue lights?  Tell us how you decorate your tree. Kudos if you have a picture and post it.

My tree is a hodge podge of everything! We have angel ornaments, Precious Moments, Angel Wings (those are all for Jordyn), we have various themes that seem to represent each of our boys that year, there's snowmen ornaments because I LOVE,LOVE,Love snowmen, there's ornaments that my mom got us every year and that last yr or the year before handed over, there's ornaments that represent Chad and I, and there's little red bows because they're pretty! :) AND! I DO have pictures!



3.  What is your all time favorite ornament? Only one.  Kudos again if you have a picture and post it. 

It's a goose that my friend Laura bought for us the first Christmas after Jordyn died...and I DO have a picture of it

 Goose is in the middle of Bob The Builder (Jacob's) and Jr of Veggie Tales (Jack's)...he's very realistic looking,and I know Jordyn would have LOVED him!


4. How many stockings do you hang and are any of them for pets? And...where do you hang them?  (Not everyone has a fireplace)

We hang matters where we hang them, we've never had a house with a mantle so it's normally been on a nail on the wall, but this year the window sills are big enough that we can hang them there.

5.  Tell us about one of your Christmas traditions.

Christmas Eve I spend it baking some favorite cookies, that I haven't made at that point throughout December! Sometimes I'll make buckeyes too.."Santa" has to have something to eat! LOL There's only going to be ONE Santa this year so we better be careful how much we bake for "him" this year (coughhercough)...we go driving around looking at Christmas lights once it gets dark, normally we'd go out to eat at Denny's afterwards, but I don't know what we'll do this year probably either go out to eat before hand or I'll have something simple to make once we get home (or before we go). We let the boys open up one gift, which is ALWAYS PJ's (yes eventually they're going to catch on to this and not look forward to it, but this assures that they have cute pj's come morning and picture time! LOL). Once they're in their new pj's and all has calmed down we bring out the bible and read about Jesus's birth. We then talk about What Christmas is REALLY about trying our best to stress that this is not about "them" but about Jesus! VERY IMPORTANT to us. Then it's off to bed and the REAL works begins! ROFL!! oh a few cookies get ate! lol


That's it! Now get to it...Santa Clause is watching you.  :) 



Friday, November 25, 2005

Winter is HERE!!!


We woke up this morning to a ground covered in Snow!!!!! We've had tracings of snow over the past week, but this is enough snow that the boys and I will going out and actually playing in, hopefully making a snow man in, etc!!!! Yahoo! They were so excited and I am too! I LOVE snow! I love the beauty of it. I love the freshness of it, I love the smell in the air after a snowfall, I love hearing and seeing all the children outside enjoying it, I love the memories it brings up in me.

I can still remember one Christmas my brother making the biggest snow "man" ended up only being 2 balls because he was over 6 feet tall and they couldn't get the head up! ROFL! My brother was a little guy for years and years too, so to see him out there with such determination to make the biggest snow possible was funny!

I'll be taking pictures and will post some later!

"Let it Snow,Let It Snow, Let It Snow"!!!!


Thursday, November 24, 2005

As most of you know who visit here regularly we're an Army family currently stationed in Germany and loving it. I haven't shared a lot about what I consider extended family (my parents, inlaws, siblings, etc) my "family" is my husband and Children, everyone else falls under extended.

Well, today my extended family just sucks. I really don't like that word in general and it's not one I say outloud around my children and try not to say it. I don't consider it a cuss word, it's just not a nice word you know and I figure I'm a pretty smart girl, I can be more creative...but sometimes that word just sums things up.

At 8 am, Chad called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving. That was a WONDERFUL surprise. He doesn't call very often, it's easier (and cheaper) to get online, plus then we get to see his wonderful face AND hear his voice (thank you webcams!)....that was the only phone call we recieved. Since we moved over here I've had friends call me from the states, Chad's mother has even called (let me tell you that's a HUGE gasp there), but my parents nope, not one single time have they called me. When Jack turned 2, I just KNEW they'd call, and t hey didn't. I was horrified, I mean it. It broke my heart that my parents didn't call. My mom is HUGE on appearances, loves to judge others, etc...well she failed big time. She can't even use being at work as an excuse not to call Jack, because his birthday fell on a Sunday this year, so there was truly NO excuse not to call. I've called them quite a few times, called earlier this month on my dad's birthday...because honestly I think that's what you should do...let them know you are thinking of them on those special days and on other days.

I'm done. I know it doesn't sound very Christian or loving. I just don't feel like I can open myself up for the hurt anymore. My mom emails and we "talk" that way. My dad's older brother is dying and they don't expect him to be here come Christmas, so I'm guessing instead of getting a curtiousy call that he's died, I'll get an email.

There are plenty of calling plans for overseas, especially Germany, they knew for quite a few months before we left and my dad had mentioned many times that they needed to call and find out who was going to be cheapest or what the rate, who knows if they did...even if they did it seems calling us doesn't seem to be a priority. I just don't understand and at this point I'm not willing to listen to any excuses.

When Chad was deployed last yr, we had a huge fight and didn't talk for 6 months. It's when I really need them, their support, they just suck.

It's no longer Thanksgiving here in Germany since it's now 12:01 I'm feeling pretty unthankful to my parents for just being them and letting me down. I don't think I'll ever understand this and I'm really trying to use them as a learning experience on what NOT to do with my own children. I think for the most part the negative things I remember from my childhood, so far I've not done with my boys. None of us are perfect and I truly don't expect that. I guess I just expect MORE from them. I used to feel pretty close to my parents. I just have one sibling, my parents have been married for 30 yrs, I'm their only daughter. I gave them their first grandchild/granddaughter, I've given them their ONLY grandsonS....but somewhere along the way, I wasn't what they expected I guess. I got fat, I married Chad (who they like), but I moved away (which they don't like), I am my own person, I make them feel convicted because I'm very open with my thoughts and feelings, although I've been VERY careful to not be convicting (does that make ANY does to me anyways! LOL)...I don't know.

This is really just a venting post, and I'm sure tomorrow I'll wake up in a better mood. We'll be decorating for Christmas in our home tomorrow! I'm excited about that already. I'm still not sure where I'm putting the tree at. I guess I'm going to have to do some rearranging. It'd help if we didn't have two computer desks in the dining area (our living room dining room is all one HUGE room), where the boys computer is...would be a PERFECT place for the Christmas tree, but there's no way I can move that desk it's quite heavy. I will most likely move the tv caddy corner and place the tree in front of the window. :) I guess I'm done for head is starting to hurt, I SHOULD go to bed (huh


God Bless

November's Challenge:Thankfulness

I participated in Penny's NOVEMBER CHALLENGE 

I hope others participated in this as well and if not, do it for December!!! I thought I'd share my list!

THANK YOU Penny for doing this!

A challenge I made for thankfulnessYour thanks I asked, and nothing less Day by day I mentioned my ownHoping that  reap what was sown Here it is the already the twenty-third And many of you are readying the bird I'm doing that too, my friends, today. And counting the blessings along the way Below are your thanks as you've written to me.To have so many fills me with glee.   I hope you save this list of thankfulness.For the days when your life is just not bliss. Look at these things as gentle reminders. There's a way to be grateful if you take off your blinders. Happy Thanksgiving from my family to you. I love your words so faithful and true From Christy
  1. I'm thankful I'm married to a man brave enough to fight for our country!
  2. I'm grateful for my home, a place for my family and I to come into out of the cold and rain.  A place to feel comfortable and most importantly, safe.
  3. I'm grateful that even in the rain I can go out and find joy and laughter and have fun with friends and my oldest son, while my youngest is being taken care of in safety and happiness.
  4. I'm grateful for a wonderful retreat and most of all the blessing of hearing my husband's voice on the phone with him in the middle east and us safe in German!
  5. I'm thankful that I'm part of an amazing women's bible study.  Women who are not afraid to really dig deep, discuss Jesus and share their testimony, even when it is sharing an ugly past, but showing just how Powerful, Almighty and Loving Christ is.
  6. I'm grateful that my dad is still alive to celebrate his birthday, he had a brain aneurism 12 years ago and the surgery he had, he was the 3rd person in the world to have it.  He has minor weakness in his right hand because HE didn't do his physical therapy as he should have . . .but he's alive and well.
  7. I'm thankful that my friend has invited the boys and I over for dinner tonight and that I am bringing home made banana bread for dessert!
  8. I'm thankful that my boys and myself got to talk to my wonderful husband who is in Kuwait!  What a blessing technology is!
  9. I'm grateful today that I have choices for internet providers and that I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for them, vs other countries who don't have many choices.
  10. I'm grateful that I'm an American and even though I don't always agree with someone in our government, even if I said I disagree, I won't get thrown in jail or worse!
  11. I'm grateful that with my husband deployed, we can talk online or the phones vs previous wars . . .technology can be an amazing thing!
  12. I'm grateful that even though I've gained weight, it's possible to lose it and that I'm finally seeing that I AM worth it.
  13. I'm grateful for the wonderful friends I've made and that they love Christ!
  14. I'm thankful that I married a man who feels as strongly about not allowing smoking in our home or around our children as I do!
  15. I'm thankful for good friends, who are willing to watch my children (I watched hers 2 days in a row!) . . .so I can do a little Christmas shopping.
  16. I'm thankful for good friends who even in the states manage to stay in touch because of this lovely contraption. I've been blessed pretty well for as long as I can remember I've always had at least a few good friends.
  17. I'm still in contact with my friends from high school.  I love those girls and always will and I'm thankful we still keep in contact.  Even though some of us have changed drastically, we still remember the girls we were and love them and love who each has become!
  18. I'm most grateful for my freedom through Christ. I can imagine and know what life is like without Christ, it's limited, full of boundaries, fear, there's little to no grace, and so many questions, and most of all no peace.
    When I was in Kansas driving on Interstate 70 West of Topeka there on the side of a barn there's a verse and of course I can't think of what book it's from but this is what it say "No God, No Peace......Know God, Know Peace"
    I think it's from John, but not positive...but it's so true. Before we accept Christ there truly is no peace, with him there's a peace in my heart that I never truly knew before.
    Thank you Jesus. Thank you for loving ME so much that you were willing and DID DIE for ME.
    Tomorrow as I sit down with other wives who's husbands are in Iraq, I will be thankful that I KNOW PEACE. Thankful for a God-fearing husband, thankful we're raising to the best of our ability God-fearing children.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Easy Question of the week....

Dona has taken over for Kelly in the "Easy like Sunday Morning" question of the week...

Here's my question of the week.  Answer it in your journal and come back here and leave me a link in the comments.  I'll post your links next weekend and we'll start over again next Sunday.

Tell me.....

When you were growing up, what did you want to be as an adult and is that what you are doing now or did your ambitions change?


Ok my answer...I can remember for a few years wanting to be a doctor, now anyone who knows my complete dislike of math and I did not enjoy science/chemistry that much yeah definately wasn't going to work out. I also (even during the dr years) wanted to be a teacher and that's stayed with me for years. My Junior year of high school I decided Child Psychology was the field I wanted to do, of course my freshman year of college proved to me that was NOT what I wanted to do. I didn't do any of those, well if I'm closest to any of them it's a teacher, but there's no degree to support that...I'm a mom. My ambitions changed completely when I became a mom and realized THAT was what I was MEANT to be.


If you decide to answer this please answer it in YOUR journal and then post the link in Dona's journal!


Happy Thanksgiving

It's officially Thanksgiving here, since it's after midnight here in Germany. It's hard to believe it's already Thanksgiving. I guess with Chad being gone it just doesn't feel quite right. I had been actually thinking that this would be the first Thanksgiving that Chad and I were spending apart, but it's actually the 2nd. He was in Kuwait in 2001, but was home in time for Christmas...As of last week, I just really had not even realized that THIS WEEK was Thanksgiving, it felt like it was still at least another week away! I guess that's what happens when you're busy with little boys all day and not a lot of people around you are talking about the upcoming holiday because their husband's deployed too, or because their husband's home and they don't want to make you feel sad!

I miss Chad, so much...yet we've been just so completely blessed so far in this deployment because we have webcams and have been able to chat almost every evening or talk on the phone! He was supposed to get online tonight, but didn't end up making it. He did call today though and we got to talk for 21 minutes! :) Wahoo! Of course the boys were napping and so they didn't get to talk to him. I'm sure he'll call or we'll see him (on webcam) tomorrow.

Please keep all the families and soldiers who are not together this year in your prayers and thoughts.

Happy Thanksgiving and don't forget to give THANKSGIVING. Thanking GOD for our Freedom. Thanking GOD for our promise to Heaven when we believe in his son, Christ!

Have a wonderful day!


*******I got a question in the comments and thought I'd edit and answer here! :)

Our Battalion is having Thanksgiving dinner for us spouces and I "believe" the soldiers who are left here from OUR unit at the chapel, so we'll be going there for dinner. Each company was assigned something to bring, ours was a veggie, so I'm making green bean casserole! Yummy! :) They are also going to have Santa visit and all the kids will get to sit on his lap and they will be taping each child and then transferring it to DVD and sending it down range so the soldiers get to see their children!!! They're letting the spouces say something too, I'm not sure if it's just the spouces w/o children or if we ALL get to! I'm hoping all of us can, but if not that's ok.

Monday, November 21, 2005

A Bit of Hope Shining Through

Just a couple pictures I took today of the sky...





Sunday, November 20, 2005

Say it Ain't So

Ok as some of you may know, I'm a HUGE and I mean HUGE football fan, but I'm a LOYAL fan which means I have only particular teams that I will cheer for and the rest are "the bad teams". It's pretty cut and dry..GOOD and BAD! :) Ok so it's football, I know it's "just a game", but it's a game I LOVE!

I will always cheer for my highschool team the "Wildcats". We weren't always good, although in the last I'd say 7-8 yrs they've been AMAZING...went to state and won state pretty well every yr (well going to state anyways and if they didn't win they've almost always been 2nd, not too shabby for a town of less than 5,000!) College of choice, Kansas States "WILDCATS" (yes I'm a wildcat through and through). I bleed purple when watching and listening to the games and my children are taught EARLY who to cheer for!(YES seriously! ROFL). NFL. I'm a Kansas City's Chiefs Fan (bleeding Red on Sunday's!) Ok so you get the drift, I'm a Kansas girl and no matter where I live, no matter how old I become I will ALWAYS be a Wildcats and Chiefs fan.

Sadly....I JUST found out that our beloved K-State Bill Synder (head coach) is retiring after being with us for 17 years. He brought us from the laughing stock of College football to one of the Powerhouses of college football teams. The last 2 season's I'm not really sure what's happened, we haven't been at our  best...but Bill Synder is still a respected and honored man when walking the beautiful campus in Manhattan, KS. As a Wildcat Fan I'll miss this man who has a gentleness about him. A man who on my first day of classes at that beautiful campus showed that lost Freshman where her Psych class was, (he was a very nice man to a girl who was looking at this HUGE campus thinking I'd never find my class and was about in tears!). Yesterday was Bill Snyder's last time ever coaching our Wildcats in a 36-28 WIN over Missiouri. Thank's Bill for the GREAT years!

Bill Snyder was a remarkable success at Kansas State, winning 135 games and playing in 11 straight bowl games.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Six Yrs Ago Today

******All pictures above were taken during her bmt it was taking too long for YGP to load to edit and put names, so just know it's family and dear friends*********


Six years ago today, November 19, 1999 my little girl Jordyn had a bone marrow transplant. The transplant itself was actually fairly non eventful. It was simply a bag of clear marrow, being pumped into her body just like the many times blood and plateletts had been pumped into her. On this day though, we thought without a doubt in our hearts, that she would be given a new life. A life that would be without cancer, a life that would allow her to grow up, become a bigger little girl, preteen, teenager, and then a woman. A life that would give her one day a husband, maybe children (most likely would have been through adoption since the chemo and radiation fried her female organs, namely those precious ovaries of ours), but a new life non the less. We waited every day anxious to hear what her new counts were. That was a day of new beginnings, what we didn't realize was that that new life would never become.

She went through all the chemo, the total body irradiation, that bone marrow transplant, mouth sores, vommitting, listlessness, and then finally the counts to start coming up, what we thought was a new life forming inside of her because of a generous 39 yr old male, only to find out Feb 1, that the leukemia was back with a vengence.

That day though, November 19, 1999 was a day of HOPE. True and limitless hope. I was the one who clamped her central line (or as we lovingly called them...her tubies) closed as the very last itsy bitsy drop of new marrow went into her system. I sat there with anticipation. Chad and I talked about Jordyn's future and our dreams for her. I long for those days of ignorance bliss. I long to hold my little girl in my arms again, even if there's the sound of machines beeping in the background. I long to feel her sleeping peacefully in my arms. To feel her sweaty head against mine, soaking my own hair from hers. To smell her sweet smell.

I want that day back. I want that hope of life continuing back. Right now, I want and long to go back to 1999. Does someone, anyone have a time machine I can borrow, even for just a few minutes. Please? Can't I feel her in my arms just ONE MORE TIME?

Lessons in Friendship

I have been blessed over my life with good and close friends, now those friends have changed over time as I've aged and changed/matured(?), etc. I still stay in touch with friends from high school to friends I've made in the military, to friends I met while Jordyn was fighting the cancer that took her life, to friends I've made online, etc. At times, I know I get quiet and don't stay in touch with them so often. There are times life just gets too busy or life gets too busy for them. I have to say when life gets busy for them I get that selfish feeling and want to say "hello what about me". I know, I know it's not all about me. It should NEVER be all about me. In reality it should always be all about GOD, yet even knowing that I don't do that all the time. I talk a good talk a lot, I'm great at going to my bible study, going to church, at praying and talking to GOD. I lack at doing my devotionals and staying in God's word on a daily basis. I have tried very hard to surround myself with fellow Christians, not saying I won't befriend or like those who are NOT Christians, just knowing that other Christians are going to help keep ME accountable to GOD, or they should. I have friends who are Christians who do that.

I'm still selfish though. I still want to be the center of attention or at least thought about at times. I can't help it. I guess it's hard for me when I pour my heart out and recieve an answer back, then pour some more of my heart and get a "that's great" and then nothing. Not a peep after that. If I'm going to be honest, it hurts. Of course this is a busy friend, and I am admitting freely I'm being very selfish in wanting to hear just something, anything from this friend. Maybe I have no right in expecting that.

I know that in the big picture my life is not harder or easier than the average life. I have different circumstances being an Army wife, but I did choice this life. I knew when I married Chad that he was in the Army had planned to make it a career. I loved him and saw that the Army for the most part made him happy. I didn't realize the obstacles I'd face. I didn't realize that my first born child would develop cancer and die at just over 2 yrs old, and that my marriage would be put to the ultimate test...lasting through the death of their child. I didn't realize we'd go to war once again. I definately didn't realize the fear that being an Army wife would bring out in me. I never realized just how Patriotic I'd become and how much it would anger me when I'd hear people bad mouthing our country, and definately never thought I'd become a <gasp> Republican! LOL

The point is, I didn't realize all of these things, yet the one thing I did realize and have always known is that I can be quite selfish and want attention. I want my friends to stay in contact with me whether it's  by phone, email, im, or snail mail. I want to hear about their life without me constantly having to ask (you start to feel like maybe they don't quite want your friendship), it makes me feel "desperate" for friends and I don't like that feeling. I want to be able to be completely honest and not hold anything back, and not get backlash for it. I don't expect my friends to share in all my opinions, but to understand they are my feelings and that they are things I have to get out sometimes.

What I'm starting to realize is that sometimes we're not who we think we are and our friends aren't who we think they are. That's a hard lesson to learn, especially when we thought we already learned those lessons.

Friday, November 18, 2005

A few thoughts

Ok so quite a few of our beloved journalers have moved off aol, and I can't say I blame them one bit, still thinking about it myself, but part of it's sheer laziness! I have read tons and tons of journals and keep reading in peoples guestbooks one person who's name shall remain nameless for NOW, how she won't miss people, some nasty thoughts, and just rudeness all over. I believe this person also says she's a Christian, yet is showing anything but. As a Christian I know we're not perfect. I know we have things we get fired up about, etc. I also know that as a person who PAYS for my AOL, I do NOT apperciate for one second aol whoring my journal out, and that IS what they are doing with these ads.

My thoughts on this person is, if you really aren't going to miss everyone who already has left or are leaving, why even coment? Why not just sit on your hands and SHUT UP? Seriously it's not that hard, I know I've done it many times and others probably do it on a daily basis, and possibly with you. If you have anger issue's, WRITE ABOUT THEM in your OWN JOURNAL, no need to tell off everyone else.

I will go and read anyone's journal, whether it's on aol or blogspot or anywhere else they chose to go...if I enjoyed them enough on aol, I am going to continue to enjoy their writings.


Just "my thoughts"

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Oh I'm so unhappy with this internet "provider". How do they call themselves a provider when half the day I couldn't even add an entry to my journal, because the "Add Entry" was not THERE. Oh and let me say this too, I HATE,HATE,HATE this "advertisement" they've now put on our journals. What as if they are bilking their "millions" of customer's out of enough money they have to go to Bank of America and get MORE? Gee I thought part of the "greatness" of AOL was that we got rid of annoying pop up adds, yeah right...they just made those annoying pop ups PART of our journal.

I'm not happy today, maybe it's time they lose ANOTHER customer.....

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Survey Like No Other

  A Survey Like No Other


1.   What sign are you?    Aqurius (don't believe in this junk though)

2.   What's your favorite color?  Purple

3. How many waffles could you eat in one sitting?  2

4. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?  No. 

5. If you had to choose between cats and dogs, which would it be? Cats, they're not as demanding.

6. What's something you've learned recently?  When eggs dry on a closet shelf, spraying it down and wiping with a rag will NOT take it up, but getting out the dish scratcher will take it up in 5 seconds flat!

7. What's your favorite quote?  "I could jog to Texas and back, but my daughter can't" Sally Fields/Steel Magnolia's...(It's one of those that's ALWAYS stuck with me)

8. What's your favorite entry in your own journal?  I just recently wrote it actually, it's called : Jordyn

9. What color is your bedroom? Army blah

10. Where is your favorite place to visit?  A tie right now between Edelwiess in Garmish and Neuschwanstein Castle

11. What is one thing you want to accomplish this year? Teaching Jacob to read

12. Why do you write in a journal? It's a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings.

13. What's your favorite joke?  Just click and turn up your volume (it's clean, just hilliarious!)

14. Do you like the city or the country?  The country, although I LOVE being close to everything, but I prefer the country.

15. What style is your house decorated?  Oh it's a mixture kitchen's in apples, I've got some Americana going on and I plan on doing more Americana, oh and just tons of pictures of my family! :)

16. Who's your favorite artist?

17. Can you pat your tummy and rub your head at the same time? Yes

18. Are you a night owl? ROFL! Um...yes!

19. What's something you love in your house? My children!  ok if we're going for non human, seriously it's all my pictures of my family and friends.

20. Do you believe in God? Absolutely - with all my heart.

21. What hobby could you never give up? Internet (it's more of an addiction)

22. What color makes you think of Hope? Yellow and White (it's a tie)

23. What color makes you think of Love? Red

24. What's your favorite flower? Petunia's

25. If you had one wish for the world, what would it be? That everyone would know Jesus Christ.

26. What's the best surprise you have ever received? Finding out I was pg with Jordyn

27. What can you cook like no-one else? Lasagna...I've been told many times by various people that it's the best they have ever had! :)

28. What do you think about most?  My family

29. Who is your favorite poet?  

30. And last but not least, if you could wrap yourself up in one word...what would that word be?   MOM