Saturday, September 29, 2007

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

If You're A Mom ;)


Here you can check out website (she's the one above!)





Tuesday, September 25, 2007



                    Thanks Donna for this GREAT graphic! LOL


Ok if you remember way back in May (remember I was still pregnant, my parents had just left from their visit!!) my van decided to have a part go out on it. I still can't tell you what the part is, but ultimately it's a huge piece that controls the power steering, and with it being out it's insanely LOUD when driving, and well rather embarrassing, etc!!





Chad had looked into getting the part here at our Local Ford Dealer, because of course this is a part that can only be purchased through Ford, and they were going to charge us over $1,000.00! That was for the part and shipping not including labor! Yeah...well trust me that was just not possible then. So Chad finally calls the Ford Dealer in Topeka (figuring if nothing else either my mom or dad could go pick the part up and then mail it to us), they could get the part in and ship it for about $350.00 and the shipping was only $28.00! We can ship the core back and get refunded $150.00 so ultimately after shipping we'll be getting about $100.00 back, so not too shabby. Chad is going to check and see if we can return the part to the local Dealership here and get the core charge, if not then off to the post office he will go!!





We have a friend who's going to put the part on for us, the whole Front end has to be lifted, but he said it wouldn't be a problem and shouldn't take that long and told Chad that he'd not charge us more than $100.00 for labor! We're so amazingly blessed and I'm just sitting here praising GOD for all this!




Well Chad got the notification that the part was shipped last Tuesday and when he checked the status of it last night it showed it was here!!!! He went to the mailroom today and picked it up! When he gets home he's calling our friend to see when he can bring him the van! I'm hoping that by next week I'll be driving my van again, my kids will have room to "spread out" so to speak vs crammed into the backseat of a compact little BMW car! 

It's a good day!


Monday, September 24, 2007

Alerts Down, Updated Journal

Go back and read my latest entry...the alerts have been down again, so if you wrote an update let me know and I will go take a look before I head to bed!

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

I know I'm late, but I've struggled to find the right words. Kelly(2) wrote up a beautiful blog on her beautiful boy Joshua for CCAwareness Month. As I was looking at a Candlelighter's YouTube, I came across another one that has me in tears....




And another...for all the "Angels" which my Jordyn is part of and Kelly's Josh is, my best friend Tami's daughter Sydney...




The song is so beautiful. I wish so much no other parent had to know the horror of watching their child die from cancer....this is something that I believe one day truly could be cured. If only more people cared and actually did something.



Sunday, September 23, 2007

Busy Day





We started our day off at church, came home and Chad made us BLT's..I loaded up on the Lettuce and Tomato and kept min. on the bacon and all on Whole Grain bread (which Chad and the boys dislike because it has all the grains throughout the breast and the crust is covered...I actually really like it and it's good for me!!). So after lunch, Jack went down for a nap and I start in on laundry! First I go through the 2 baskets of clean clothes, seperate them, fold what needs to be folded and hang up mine. In the mean time Chad seperates all his dirty clothes, because he hordes them on his side of the room for some rediculous reason (oh trust me though..I still have plenty of his thrown into the hamper as well, it's just insane). So there were 3 piles of his (over 4 loads), and of course I had our hamper full of clothes and Emma was given some clothes from a friend so there was lots of laundry to do...ugh.





Chad decided while I was folding the laundry to go down and get the foot lockers so I can go through the boys closet and pull out all their clothes they've outgrown (mainly Jack since Jacob's just go down to Jack), plus I had some totes with clothes in them, but they didn't have lids for some reason so I transferred those clothes and all the clothes in their closet into the 3 footlockers! Chad still needs to bring one up for my maternity clothes. I do still need to go through Jack's socks and underwear, but those will just be trashed...the socks are stained and well the underwear are well worn! LOL I plan to finish reorganizing the boys closet tomorrow. They have 2 closets in their room, tomorrow I'll have to take a picture when I'm done. One is nothing but shelves, I think there are 8 shelves and each one has 2 drawers at the bottom which is where their socks and underwear are. I'm going to move all of Jack's clothes down to the bottom shelves and Jacob's up to the higher shelves. Jacob will still be able to reach his, and Jack will finally be able to reach his. When we first moved here Jack wasn't even 2 yrs old and well we all know that almost 2 yr olds have no business being able to get at their clothes! We went through a lovely phase where Jack would pull all of Jacob's pants from the bottom shelf out, and push them onto the floor and climb onto the bottom shelf and "hide"! Oh fun times I tell you! LOL He's past that and now that he's 4, he's more than capable of putting his clothes away, picking out his own clothes (which he does now, I just have to get them for him or Jacob, or Chad!).





I'm hoping tomorrow I can also get the other dresser in the boys room emptied (has blankets in it) and put Emma's clothes in it as well. The dresser I have her clothes in now is pretty, but the drawers are not very big . Hopefully I can accomplish everything I want to tomorrow, oh and I still have some laundry to wash. I hate laundry I really, really do!





I need to get to bed, Emma will be up soon to nurse I'm sure and then the kids will all be up I'm sure by 7:30, they could sleep in a little later since they were up later than normal..I don't expect past 8 am! Well I'm off. Hope you had a good Sunday.





Thursday, September 20, 2007

Don't Get Too Comfortable





I got a call from Chad a little bit ago and well that's the thought in my head right now....don't get too comfortable here. The problem is, I'm as comfortable as I've ever been anywhere in my life. I have felt since the day the boys and I got here that this post is exactly where we are supposed to be...that this is home. We LOVE it here. I have been so blessed personally with everything here. We have an amazing support system of friends who I have grown to love.





So...what's going on you ask...we might be moving. We'd stay in Germany, but go to another post. Actually it's where we were stationed at our 1st time in Germany. When we first found out we got to come back to Germany a little part of me hoped we'd get stationed back there, but now that we're here, we've established a support system, made such amazing friendships, actually know the area, etc...I plain and simple don't want to move. I want to stay right here until it's time to go back to the states. So why would we have to move? There's a unit there that's about to deploy and they need E-5's and E-6's and Chad falls into that category. They asked for volunteer's today, and said if they don't get any or enough then the Battalion will just start picking people. But oh let me tell you they got a deal for you...they'll pay for the move (as if that's some big incentive..since it's the ARMY saying you have to move "volunteer" or of course they'd move people). I'm not sure when they'll move the lucky ones that have to go there, but they're going to move them and then the soldier will be turning around and leaving soon after, yeah thanks! Chad told his 1st Sgt. he does NOT want to go, so now it's just a matter of waiting. I've not cried yet, but feel the tears welling up. I just can't imagine having to start over again and having Chad gone so quickly. I've been so blessed with our PWOC, having the support/friendships that we have, I can't imagine having to leave it and praying I don't.






I told Chad it just seems to me it'd make more sense to pick the single soldiers's not quite the disruption. They don't have a family to move, sure they may have a girlfriend, but well they're not pick them first. I know selfish isn't it, but it's how I feel. I am hoping that others want to experience another place in Germany and simply volunteer and that they get enough volunteer's that we're never even considered.'s just a wait and see thing at this point.




I would like to ask you each to pray for God's will in this. I know that if he wants us to move, that's exactly what will happen, and if not that he will not allow it. I have no idea when final word will come down if no volunteer's pop up, I'm guessing at least a couple days if not longer. I refuse to worry about it, I'm placing this in God's very capable hands and letting go of it.



Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Until I make my own....

Go here for an EXCELENT Childhood Cancer Awareness Blog Entry....


I'm sticking my tongue out at Kelly btw! :)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Selfless Love


This is Jacob with Emma the day she came home from the hospital. He has the love of Christ shining through him when it comes to his little sister.

How you ask...well tonight he wasn't feeling well. He'd came out of his bedroom about 9:45 red faced, all blotchy from crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said his stomach hurt and he felt like he was going to get sick. I took him to the bathroom, wiped his face down, made sure he wasn't going to get sick right then, grabbed the trash can took it to his room, then he asked if he could lay on the couch, when it was determined Daddy would be running to the shoppette (like a convience store) for some sprite.


Emma was fussing and he asked if he could hold her. I told him, "No, because if you are really sick I don't want Emma to get it too." He said ok and continued to lay there quietly. A few minutes later I'm on the floor changing Emma's diaper and he tells me "You know Mom, I love Emma more than I feel sorry for myself". I was of course a little taken back and said "really, how's that" and he replied "well I love Emma so much and I don't want her to get sick, she shouldn't ever have to feel like this".


Let me tell you...this little boy is smart, handsome, and so compassionate. He shines Jesus's Love. I strive to be so loving and compassionate as he is to his baby sister! What a precious moment and he shared it with me!!! Oh what a blessing he is to our family! What a testimony he is to Christ! That little boy DOES love Jesus and it shows!


Just some pictures of Jacob and Emma...the love he has for her is already so intense! What a blessing, what a blessing!



Friday, September 14, 2007

getting things done! :)

Well today's been a good day over all. Both boys did good with their school work and we were all done by 11 am. Chad had fed them breakfast so I didn't even have to worry about that, just nursing Emma and getting dressed, etc. Chad came home about noon, got the boys fed lunch and then we headed over once it was 1300 got Emma enrolled in DEERS, then got her added to life insurance for Chad, took the DEERs paper work over to the Tricare office and got her all enrolled in that, got my ID card redone, it was going to expire next week, the picture is AWFUL, one eye is almost all the way closed so it looks like I'm winking, yeah nice huh?!! I stopped by another office picked up some paper work that I needed there and Chad headed back to work and I headed to the commissary with the kids. It's the case lot sale, although there was I think 6 things there...I did get paper towels and juice boxes (handy for after soccer games). I got things for the enchilada casserole I'm making for the hospitality house tonight and stuff for the boys dinner (bean burrito's), then stocked up on lots of raw veggies and fresh fruits! I did get the strawberries but totally forgot to grab an angel food cake mix, so hopefully tomorrow Chad will go pick one up and maybe he'll make that for me tomorrow while I'm gone! Oh and I got my hershey kisses to curb my choc. craving! I then ran over to the mailroom, had a box from a friend who moved from here in July (she's also from KS and actually back in KS)..she sent Emma the CUTEST little Carter's outfit and some Ruby Slippers!!! Hey just because Emma was not born in Kansas does not make her any less a Kansas girl!! :) Of course they're size 5 so it's going to be a while before she can wear them...but they are just too cute!


I better get off of here I have dinner in the oven and the boys beans are cooking on the stove, so that should be done in just a few minutes and need to get them fed! We probably won't be home until about 10 or so have a great rest of the day!!


Oh and Emma is 6 weeks old today!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Ok so my earlier post which I've fixed now I aged Emma by 4 1/2 months...she's REALLY 6 weeks! (well Friday she will be). Hey I'll use the excuse that although she's an AWESOME sleeper I am still sleep deprived to a degree! Anyone who doesn't think nursing doesn't take a lot out of you, well you've obviously never breastfed your child! It drains you literally in a physical sense of taking the milk out and also the energy! By the end of the day I'm normally wiped out! Right now, Chad has Emma sleeping on his chest and he's kind of sprawled out on the love seat (half sitting up/half laying)! It's rather cute!! Emma likes to have that body contact!

Tonight Jacob had his 2nd soccer game, I forgot my camera. The great news is he played really great, got his foot on the ball quite a few times and kicked it down field. He's really liking that he's not stuck in the same position week after week for the whole game like last year. We're not supposed to keep score either and I don't count the no. of goals but well we did win! LOL The other team didn't get a single goal in (that was last week for us, although I think we did get one goal!) but we got like 6 tonight! The kids were having a great time, the cutest moment though was another little boy on our team "S" was playing goaly and he blocked a should have seen his face. Everyone was cheering for him, but he was just beaming and the fact that his mom saw it and was cheering for him and yelling his name...the kids literally had a smile on his face for a full 5 minutes from that one play! It was a GREAT stop let me tell you, he had a right to feel proud!! :)

Afterwards we went to the bowling alley with a friend of ours for dinner, I had a cheeseburger it wasn't the greatest of meals but it could have been so much worse and I ate great all day long, so I don't feel too bad about it. I've not been snacking on junk at all and have been drinking all my water, which isn't an issue for me the way it is...but still! I would give anything for some chocolate right now, so I'm going to go buy me some Hershey Kisses (I actually can eat just one at a time, when I suck on it and let it melt in my mouth!) and going to get some strawberries and make an angel food cake...low fat all around and it takes care of my sweet tooth! Now if Kelly could only get me those chips (rofl..j/k!)....Tomorrow night I will work HARD to make good choices...we're going to the hospitality house and it's Mexican favorite! I'm making enchilada casserole. I plan to eat a lot of salad if someone brings it and get pretty full off of that so that the rest of what I eat will not be too bad, and drink my water. I need to get some good choices for breakfast as well. I can make some scrambled eggs (they're they only kinds of eggs I'll eat), I only have/eat whole grain bread for toast, we have grapes and apples currently in the fridge...obviously need to load up on more fruit and raw veggies got to get me some those!

I am starting this change lower than I expected..I actually weighed 5 lbs less than I thought, so that was a great boost Wednesday when we weighed ourselves in class!! I'm hoping to lose anywhere from 5-10 lbs this week, I'm a big girl so big changes can result in big losses the first week. I know it will not remain like that (the big losses) but it's pretty common the first week or two to have big losses. So hopefully between the food changes and the walking I'm going to be doing it'll come off, oh and the nursing, the constant nursing that Emma does!! :) Take it off baby!

You know now that I wrote all of that I'm not sure if I even shared I was starting a weight loss program! I did!! It's in PWOC one of the classes being offered is called Giving Christ First Place. It's a Christian based Weight loss program! I'm really excited. It's pretty similar to Weight Watchers which I SOOO LOVE and had lost 40 lbs with before moving over here to Germany. We have weekly weigh ins, challenges, bible verses to memorize every week, scripture reading, and supporting each other who's in the class! I'm really thrilled about it and just absolutely am ready to get this weight off! I will be starting my weight loss journal back up I think, unless I just blog about it here off and on. I do weigh less this time starting than I did when I joined WW's back in Feb '05 so that's a definate good thing!

Oh the pictures...are from Jacob's soccer game, Jack's 1st soccer practice, Emma from Tuesday with the boys, and Chad took the ones of Jack in his Incredible Hulk costume (it had been Jacob's...but he's obviously outgrown in!).

Well it's 12:30 am and I'm about to pass out! The boys will be up no later than 8 am I'm sure and we have a full day ahead of us between school, walking, commissary trip, need to go to the ID office tomorrow to get Emma enrolled for our insurance, see if I can get her footprints done since that didn't happen the other day...oops, and go to the Hospitality House for the evening! I'm tried just thinking about it...oh and I have to get laundry done as well..yippee.


Screaming baby, Sleeping baby

So I figure I've not posted a ton about Emma since she joined our family almost 6 weeks (yes for those who read this in the past, it did say months..oops!) ago so I figured I should do that!! :) Emma's still a pretty easy baby, anyone who's ever had a newborn understands babies's simply how they communicate to tell us they're hot, cold, hungry, stinky, or simply want held. Emma's not much of a communicator! LOL She's pretty content for the most part, her needs are often met EXTREMELY quickly. She'll be 6 weeks old tomorrow btw!

So about 30 minutes ago now Emma was in her swing, which she's ok with most of the times she's placed in it (which isn't all that often, but sometimes it's a handy tool). She'd been snoozing in it for about 10 minutes and started fussing, then screaming...her eyes never opened. I pick her up and she simply snuggles into me and goes back to sleep...she communicated quite clearly to me...she wanted held!

Emma also has a favorite person in the world...ME! :) Chad is tolerable sometimes, but it's becoming less and less of a tolerance! :O He can be holding her and she's just fussing or actually all out crying and she just hears my voice or smells me get closer and she starts to calm down and will be completely happy once she's in my arms. I do laugh, because well it's funny, but I do feel bad for Chad at the same time. This man has desperately wanted a little girl again and to know that his little girl isn't all that fond of him...the simple fact is he can't provide her with her favorite thing...the breast! The girl is an eater and since she likes  to do it often, he's pretty worthless to her right now at this point in her sweet little life! LOL But let me tell you when she lets him, he holds her and shows her off to everyone he can!! He couldn't be prouder! It's the sweetest thing!

The boys are still crazy about her! :) Well Jacob has a soccer game in 2 hours so I need to get going. I will share some pictures probably later tonight. Last night I fell asleep in the chair rocking Emma and dragged myself to bed at 10:30! Wahoo lets hear it for EXHAUSTION! I slept good, Emma woke up once to nurse and then we woke up about 8 for good!


Oh and school with the boys is going good! Jacob's doing English, Reading, Math, and Science everyday. I am going to go to the library next week and he's going to start some history. We're going to go with a study in Germany so we can go visit what ever we choose. I'm going to have the librarian help us decide whathe study's and see what other idea's she has. She LOVES to be involved and has told us homeschoolers to please let her I'm going to! I think we'll all have fun with it!!

Part 3 on Interview me! :)

Barb over at: Life & Faith in Caneyhead asked me:
Do you, or would you buy the kids $100+ tennis shoes, even if money were no object? At the age of my children there's no way on this earth I'd buy them that expensive of shoes EVEN if money were not an object. I think it'd be completely wasteful...if they were older and their feet weren't growing a hundred miles an hour, honestly I don't know..I doubt it.
How many states in the U.S.A. have you been to, and which ones? Oh goodness great question I should explain between the age of 3 to 5 my dad was laid off from Goodyear Plant in Topeka and so he worked in Track work (laying railroad tracks and the oil fields so we moved every couple of months!)
I lived in or visited: Ks, Iowa, Ill, Wi, Ok, Tx, Mo, Co, Wy, NM, Va, WV, Pn, Md, SC, Ga, Oh, Mi, Tn, Ky, NC,SD,Ne,CA,NV,In, AR,
So that's 27 states in all! :)
If you could have any career and be one of the best in your field, what you do be? I am doing it...I'm a mom and although it's not what most TODAY see as a Career, I believe it's the absolute most important one I or any woman can hold. I know there are probably better mom's out there, but everyday I do my best to be the best mom I can be! It's without a doubt what GOD created me to be!
Where do you feel the safest (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually)? Home...where ever God and Army decide home is...that's it.
What one thing would you most like to do that you have never done? Wow great question and one that's really making me think. I would love to be able to memorize bible verses easily and know the bible in my heart (you know where someone's talking about a bible verse and you can say which one it is!) to know and I mean TRULY know God's word in memory and heart what a wonderful thing that would be! I'm working on it!!!
Thank you Barb for these GREAT questions!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

You just HAVE to go and read this!

Ok so by now most if not all of you know of My Emily-Really Living . Two months ago her sweet Miller Grace went home to Heaven after 5 precious days on this earth and she's been changing lives ever since. Emily had made her blog private, but then over the weekend God led her to open it back I encourage each of you to go back and read entries you may have missed, but the one entry I'm leading you to is yesterday's! What a day for brings so much joy to my heart that she had such a day!

Emily's real and real isn't always easy...but it's the truth of the matter. Read her, pray for her and with her, learn from her, from Miller Grace, and know that I love her more! ROFL Ok, seriously I do love her more than any of you could...but well she's my best friend that's just what happens...but you're going to love her too! You just will, so accept it and go!

Emily-Really Living


Another Interview ;)

Ok so to continue with the interviews (if you want me to interview you, just leave a comment letting me know!)

Anyways...Leene over at: Life is a circus had these questions for me :)


How much is gas for you in Germany? Here on post gas is $ post I believe it's over or right around $6-7.00 (now seriously do you REALLY have anything to complain about...nope!)

Where else have you guys been stationed? We've been stationed at Fort Riley (KS) which is home well I'm from Ks (about 90 miles from Riley) and over all in our marriage we've been stationed there the most...from 1997-1998 and again from Oct 2000-July2005. Baumholder, Germany Chad got there in April '98 and Jordyn and I arrived Oct. 30, '98 and we all left May '99 and headed to...Fort Belvoir from May '99 and I moved back to Ks after Jordyn died in August '00 and Chad followed me in Oct.'00. Then here back to Germany (I don't post exactly where! OPSEC!!) we've been here since July 2005 though! So for a recap:

Ft. Riley, Ks

Baumholder, Germany

Ft Belvoir, Va

Ft.Riley, KS


What is your favorite book to read, other then the bible - any special authors? Oh man I LOVE reading and in the last year have discovered I LOVE Christian fiction. I also LOVE of my favorites is Barbara Bush's autobiography (wonderful read)...and I love Christian Bible Study type books...there's just really too many to list. I LOVE to read!

Do you get first run movies/cds or do you have to wait? We do get first run movies here on post, they send Europe so many copies of first run movies and they're shared throughout the military communities, but pretty well anything released in the majority of the US we get as well. CD's are released the same time here as well and so are for all those Harry Potter Fans, (not one personally) those of us in Germany got the book 6 hrs before anyone on the East coast!

Is there one thing that you really miss in terms of food (i.e. brand of chips or salad dressings) that you can't buy in Germany? Oh man...I miss Baked Lays Sour Creme and Onion chips (we have plain baked lays but the SC&O are my favorite chips), our particular commissary is small so we don't get as many organic foods as I wish they did have, we can get them...just a pain. I MISS Sonic! ROFL It's true, especially when I was pg with Emma...I would have caused physical harm to someone for a Sonic Cheeseburger! Seriously! LOL

Tuesday, September 11, 2007




I didn't and have never and will never live in NYC. I didn't know anyone who died that day. We had friends who worked at the Pentagon and for me that attack was what hit me and terrified me the most. That building was and is a symbol of strength, power, and a part of who we are. We lived aprox 15 miles or so from the Pentagon and I can't tell you how many times we drove by it while we lived at Ft.Belvoir, I was always mesmorized by it, for those who've never seen's huge.

I'm only one of thousands of Military Wives. I'm a SOLDIERS wife. I have sat at home faithfully for 4 deployments, 2 to fight in THIS WAR (and don't say it's not a war, because it absolutely is). I support my husband and WHAT and WHY he fights.

 I remember driving and hearing about the first crash as I dropped 6 month old Jacob off at my friends on my way to work (at a bank...I'd put in my 2 wks notice the day before). I got to work and the 2nd plane crashed, then hearing them say the Pentagon was hit made me hit my knee's. Chad was in Kuwait, actually he was on the border of Kuwait/Iraq this day 6 yrs ago. They were told what happened and were all taken into a safe phone calls out, America was under attack. They had as much fear for all of us as we did for much was unknown, so much fear.

I sat that evening...holding Jacob, rocking him, nursing him as tears flowed down my face and my ear to the phone as my finger continued to push redial as I tried to get ahold of my friend Rebekah who still was at Belvoir. Relief when I finally got through to her to know she was ok, emails from other friends who were there.






Someone wrote something about not forgetting, I can only speak for myself when I say that's impossible. I don't have the "convience" of forgetting. I don't have the "luxury" of not thinking about this day the other 364 days of the year like others husband's in the Army and we live the after-math of this, it's our life. If Chad's not deployed one of our friends is. Right now we're looking at deployment #5...and his 3rd trip over there.






Do I wish that what Gen. Petreus said yesterday was different, well of course. I don't like my husband having to leave us for a year, well at this point we're facing 15 month deployments....but it's his JOB. This is what he trains for, this is the POINT of the US Military. The point of having a military is DEFEND and they're doing exactly that.

As the saying goes...Freedom isn't Free and neither my friends is SAFETY. As you sit in your safe homes today and this evening, as you write your posts on what this day means to you...remember all the American Military who's out FIGHTING for your ability to be free and safe in a country that through it's faults is still the GREATEST NATION in the WORLD and if you don't believe that, it's time to get your priorities straight. If you hate America...GET OUT. I see no reason for my husband to fight for your butt if you can't even be THANKFUL for the country you live in.



God Bless the USA
Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.

I'm proudto be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God Bless the U.S.A.





I won't ever forget....will you?



Monday, September 10, 2007

On a Much Lighter Note Tonight..Interview Me

I found me a new blog/journal to read it's: Deployment Journal and she's been playing the Interview me game. She sent me 5 questions which are the following:


1. What is your favorite thing about living in Germany? The travel opportunities! I love traveling and the fact that we live so close to so many wonderful cities right here in Germany but also so many other countries so close! Oh and did you know...Cech Rep. and Poland are looking to both open their boarders more to get more American's in and speed up things! (a friend of mine just went to CR and just waved her passport and they waved her on through!!!! )
2. What do you miss the most from the States? Convience of 24 hrs...WalMart or just later than 7 pm! I also miss Sonic! ROFL!!
3. Where do you hope to be stationed next? Well right here actually, but as far as moving goes the plan is to move back to Ft. Riley...Chad will be close to retirement and we'd like to buy our house and get "settled"!
4. What do you find the hardest about being a mother? Parenting during deployments. You're not a single parent, yet in many ways you are! It's a difficult balance especially the older the kids get.
5. What is something simple that will always make you smile? Seeing my children smile. I know...I LOVE to see my children smile, it melts my heart. if you want to play....all you have to do is leave a comment and say "interview me" and I'll send you 5 questions and you post them in your journal and answer them! Feel free to then interview me back!! :)

Sunday, September 9, 2007




We had a great time at the retreat. There were 3 different sessions offered and Chad and I went to the Marriage one on intimacy. The main reason was the Chaplain who was giving it, but reality is, it's because it's where God wanted us. My heart has been harder than I realized and well lets just say Satan enjoys that and my horrible strong will needs to be broken and it started getting broken this weekend and I hope Chad's had as well. We have not talked like we really need to, about the things that for me opened my eyes and I could tell opened Chad's. I felt my heart get broken in to many tiny little pieces as Chad took a little survey that as the Chaplain said was an "evil, evil test" was created by wives to see where the husband is on doing intimant things for his wife. For us wives, I think we all know that roses and dinner is nice, but that's not the only way to be's coming home, cooking dinner, cleaning the bathroom (without being asked to), taking out the trash, taking the kids and telling you to go take a bath, cleaning up the kitchen, calling you during the day for no reason other than to see how you are, say they love you, etc....each question was worth 10 pts....there was a possibility of 200 pts total...Chad scored a whopping 10 pts, although we later decided he could have another 10 for another question that although he didn't do ALL of the question he does all those things at different times...while he took it I felt myself sitting there with a HUGE lump in my throat, because these are all things I'd LOVE for Chad to do, but he doesn't. Of course us wives got rebuked as well by being told we can't hint, we need to straight out tell them what we want (which hey you all know I'm anything but quiet..I tell him, now I do hint as well, but I straight out tell this man things that I want, need, desire, etc...he still doesn't do them). I looked at him and said "maybe now you can see why I'm not always so happy" and he of course copped an attitude and said "it's a two way street", which just ticked me off of course and I was ready to leave right then and there. I didn't, but I sat there instead with tears in my eyes..because for that moment it was supposed to be about how he could bea better husband and he made sure to turn it around on me and how I am failing him as a wife. We BOTH have a lot of places we could and NEED to improve, but he simply didn't get it and at that moment didn't seem to care either. We haven't been even cross with each other about it since....but it still hurts. I know Chad's a great husband and he does so much more than it seems most husband's do, and I guess I'm either A. Selfish, rotten, horrible wife who's just nothing but a demanding wench or B. Have high expectations because he does do those things without question and then when I do need him to do other things it's a fight. I know I have nothing or very little to complain about, yet I have a lot that I do complain about. Go figure...but anyways that's not all I want to talk about. The point is that I learned a lot...about myself and how I can improve on being a Godly Wife and I WANT to and I WILL do it. Please be in prayer for me as I know Satan will be throwing everything at me to prevent this and I'm stupidly stubborn so my own will, will be going against me as well!

Saturday after the seminar, Chad told me to go downtown with friends and our babies, and shop (gave me some extra spending money on top of what I had...wahoo!), and he said that he'd go get Jack after lunch (he was at the CDC center and btw had a GREAT TIME and ate lunch there..he had Chicken Noodle soup and Peaches! LOL He told us this multiple times! ROFL!!), Chad got him and took him swimming and out to the hot tub! ;) Jacob was at Kids Day Out so he didn't return until 4:15 and he had a great time too. So anyways..Emma and I went downtown with friends and had a good time! Here's Emma and I with a Pink Cow, don't ask me about these because I honestly don't get it...but in Garmisch and Munich they have these cow statues all over, I need to do probably oh 5 minutes of research and find out what the story is with the cows!!


We had fun, went to one of my favorite stores there Kathe Wolfhart's! It's just such an awesome store..they're throughout Germany!! I bought me a couple Christmas ornaments, a Snowman Tealight holder, and a sachet that smells of cinnimon and apples (very Christmasy!) mmm! LOL That night we went out to eat with our friend Bobbie and we had Mexican!! I mean GOOD Mexican! Oh man, there was a ton of food, we left there with 8 containers of food and it all went bad the hotel only has those tiny fridge's and of course we couldn't at the time find anyone to eat it!

So today was check out day. We were standing talking to friends and I look up and saw Chad's old 1st Sgt, his wife Danielle and I talk all the time online, they're stationed about 3 hrs from us, we've just not managed to hook up! So I see Tommy walking towards us and there she was! I ran over to her and we hugged and both of us got teary eyed! I couldn't believe this is where we finally met up! Tommy's getting ready to deploy, so it was great to see him before he heads out! He told us to make sure to go visit Danielle even if he's not there! :) Which I had already decided we were going to do!! Once we saw each other it was like no time had been lost. The last time I saw them was when I was pg with Jackson!! They left Ft. Riley I think it was June 2003!! Of course we've both seen pictures of each other, but goodness her boys are so big. Their oldest is a Senior this year and her youngest is in 8th grade, to think that when we met (in 2001) her youngest was just a year or two older than's just hard to believe!! Time goes by so quickly. That was definately the highlight of the day. Of course we find out that they got down there on Friday too, they're staying until tomorrow...but we chatted for about an hour, hugged, wished Tommy a safe deployment, and promised to visit each other...we MAY get to see each other next weekend. She thinks her boys football game is down by us so if it is, after the game they're going to come see us! Works for me!!

Oh Danielle took a couple family pictures for us out in front of Edelweiss...let me just say that Jack did NOT want his picture taken...I think it's well "priceless" and I was smiling through it all..! LOL

Doesn't he look HAPPY?! ROFL! He was ticked, but he was in the pictures! He ran off after that and declared he'd have NO MORE pictures! LOL Funny thing is...later in the day he was requesting we take pictures of him @@@ Oh the tempermental age of 4! Don't think he got away with that fit though...because we went and had a nice long talk and he was off and on Mr. Attitude throughout the weekend and most of all today, sowhen we got home..he got a spanking and he knew what for, because we talked before it and after it...he apologized. I'm not in denial that it won't happen again, but that attitude is not ok.


Ok so...after we left Edelweiss/Garmisch we had decided to go somewhere that I've wanted to since moving back to Germany. We went to Dachau Concentration Camp. Jacob is 6 1/2 and on tv here they have done documentaries on Hitler, on the Nazi's (SS), on although he does not know all the horrors, he knows some of it. He understands that Hitler was a cruel and evil man, that he had people inprisoned in the concentration camps, and ultimately had many killed. He's not seen pictures, doesn't know the how's or really any of the why's, just enough to answer the questions of a VERY curious and intelligent boy, who's heart is so big and compassionate. I think in ways this gave him a bigger understanding of things and more questions on others. Jack was completely oblivious to all of it and just wanted to run and for me to take his picture ( not the appropriate place @@ little stinker). We avoided the museum because friends had told us there were pictures in there that they knew were not suitable for either of the boys to see, especially Jacob (they know him well). I did my best to be honest and answer questions, but to keep things age appropriate (although is that possible at a concentration camp?). Chad and I plan to return there without the boys. We did skip like I said the museum which not only has pictures but also a 22 minute movie that's not suggested for children under the age of 12, so I know it'll be very difficult to watch, and of course we couldn't really look at everything as long a we wanted since mostly Jack's attention span is about as long as a knats, which really was ok, and we didn't go see other parts, because we were all getting tired, my feet were killing me, and it was getting late and we still had a 3 hr drive ahead of us, and Emma had stinky diaper and needed fed.

I am going to share the pictures I did take. Chad and I barely talked at all throughout the tour. I do want to share one thing...the billets that the prisoner's lived in...were 10 meters wide by 100 meters long. They have reconstructed two of them and they have one of them opened for the public to walk through. I think most of us have seen the movies and you think you have an idea of how small all of it was...but let me tell you until you see it,you just don't understand just HOW small the bunks were. Also I did not realize this, but they had to keep them spotless. It's really not surprising though is it. Some of the bunks had slats and if the slats were not perfect and one of the guards was in a mood, drunk, etc and came in and striped the bunk and found that the slats were not exactly as they were to be...they one who the bunk was assigned to would be punished...the punishment was being hung by the arms for an hour. None of us will EVER know the true travesty they went through. Today I got a glimpse, but even's just that, a small peak in.

There are rows where the foundation is down...there's 30 of's where the former bunks were, they're now filled in with rocks, but the cement foundation is still there. There are also now religous memorials on the grounds. One is a Jewish memorial, one is a Catholic, a Protestant, and a Russian Orthadox. I also went through the crematorium. It was horrible. Chad and the kids sat outside on a bench. The area around it has been made into beautiful gardens which I would have taken pictures of to show the contrast, but my camera batteries were quitting.

Oh one last bit of info and then the pictures....Dachau was made to hold 6,000...but ended up with over 30,000. 5 times it's limit. It was much larger than I even imagined, and it was the first Concentration Camp. If you are ever in Germany or are living here...I do think it's a place you should go to. It's a part of history, an ugly, sad,  horrible part...but a part none the less. As an American it was some place I never thought I'd be close to honestly. As a Soldiers wife, both of my grandfather's were in the maternal was in the Army and was actually stationed here in Germany he was stationed an hour from me and actually came to where we're at to visit". My paternal grandpa was in the Navy. Chad's Maternal Grandfather was in WWII, and was all over Europe. We have his canteen and he carved into it every single place he was at, he spent a lot of time in Belguim and Germany and France. Chad's pretty sure he went to one of the concentration camps as a liberator, but on the canteen (which is right in front of me) it does not say Dachau and he does not have Munich on it. Chad is going to ask his Grandma if she knows which one. Let me tell you though...there were pictures of when the American's came and liberated Dachau and I had tears coming down my face. To know that they'd been praying for someone to save them, and it was the American's. I had goose bumps through the tears.


 Guard Tower




 Arial view of the camp...see how large it was...


This is called the "Jourhouse"



 View of one of the reconstruced bunks from the Jourhouse

 Another view





Dachau was started in 1933 and America liberated it on April 29, 1945..this momument was so emotional for Chad and I both. It was hard to look at and hard not to look at and even harder to walk away from. In case you can't tell this scupture is of the bodies of the prisoners.


This holds the ashes of unknown prisoners...


 some of the bunks they slept in


 more bunks

 The prisoners lockers, there of course were not enough for all of them.


 There's only a section of this left, but it's the barb wire that went around the camp to prevent them from escaping...


 If you look up close you can see the cement foundation (see Jacob's finger pointing) the rock fills in where the building/living area was to the other side (10 meters) where it me it was NOT big and when you think of how over crowded it was...just mind boggling.


 Jewish Memorial

 Part of the Catholic Memorial

 Other part of the Catholic Memorial


 This is a rock just before you get to the newer of the crematorium's...

 This is it...The 2nd door is where the cremators were, the 3rd door was the gas chambers (which in this particular  building was never used for the mass murders), the first door was where they had bodies.



I KNOW this is ending on a sad note...but we can't forget this. This is not maybe your past or my past really...but it's all of our pasts as humans. The people who lived in the City of Dachau simply turned a blind eye to what was happening in their own backyards. After the war, all the citizens were MADE to walk through the camp and SEE what had happened there. I think personally they got off light. Ignoring something like this made them just as guilty in many ways. I know there was a great deal of fear and I do NOT discount that...but because of it over 20,000 people died in just THIS concentration camp in 12 years. 20,000 people who had been doing nothing but living their life when they were loaded up like cattle into trains and transported to their city, who were beat, hung, starved, barely clothed, worked like slaves literally, shot, gassed, etc. They did nothing. For too long America did nothing as well, but when we were attacked we stood up and said no...the people in Dachau didn't and because of it over 20,000 died. These are lessons we as American's need to remember today. Don't think this kind of evilness no longer does if not in even worse capacities. Satan has a strong hold on this world, and he's using Terrorism and fear.

Tomorrow morning as Jacob and I start his 1st day of 1st grade one of the things we'll be talking about is what we did today. I wanted him to have some time to digest things and will be seeing what questions he has, filling in blanks as I find appropriate, and seeing where he'd like to go next as far as learning this and what he'd like to learn next. I also want to use this experience as biblical lesson, because God is our focus and he must be our main focus for school to be successful. Jack will also be starting school tomorrow...preschool curric. He's especially excited! He has a different learning process than Jacob and so I'll be learning how to teach him as well!

I have to get to sleep now. Chad took a 4 day weekend so he'll be home to help out tomorrow. I'm going to let him take on Math with Jacob tomorrow, and I have of course laundry to do, to fold, and put away, and we're going through the boys closests and pulling out clothes to get rid of, pack up, and make room for winter items.