Sunday, September 18, 2005

Feeling a little sad

I am sitting here just missing my daughter tonight. Wondering how someone I love so much was able to leave my arms. I am just aching right now. I hear so many other mom's talking about their daughter's, the pinks, purples, ribbons, long hair, painted fingernails..I miss those things, most of all though I just miss Jordyn.

All too often people think that tomorrow is somehow guarenteed. I find myself falling into that at times, but I know all too well it's not promised. I know that life's not always easy and gentle. I know that even little innocent children suffer from horrible diseases, that they truly do not deserve. I know that one of, if not the most evil word I know is cancer. I know it killed this beautiful child. It robbed her of growing up to become what ever she was supposed to be. It robbed me, yes selfish me, of being her Mommy and guiding her through out her life. It robbed my husband of his little girl, his princess. It robbed my boys of having a big sister.

I hate cancer. I miss that smile, her laughter, that light in her eyes. I've never seen another human that had a light in their eyes like Jordyn did.


pixiedustnme said...

She is so beautiful, I wish our girls were growing up together, it just isn't fair!!

terra19728 said...

My son left me almost 8 years ago and I still have days like you are having.  I find myself taking my kids for granted sometimes and then I remember they aren't really ours.
I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better right now, just know that you are not crying alone.


bekahbutterflies said...

Christy, i'm praying for you sweetie.   As Sean's birthday approaches, I miss Jordyn even more.   I remember his first birthday and Jordyn being there with us celebrating his happy time.  It's bittersweet.  I plan to get balloons to release on his birthday, to remember her with.  

I love you.


missboogerhead said...

I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't even begin to imagine what the loss of a child is like.  It's hard enough to watch adults struggle through disease. but to see a child through it, is just...  not fair.  There are no other words.  I am sorry.
~Miss O