I came across these and thought they were cute...enjoy! :) LOL
MAN OF THE HOUSE
The husband had just finished reading the book, 'MAN OF THE HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his
wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The funeral director would be
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He bought a nice, used chicken farm and moved in. As it turned out, his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens."
The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the neighbor dropped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too well. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more." Another two weeks went by and the neighbor stopped by again. The new farmer said, "You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What went wrong?"
The new farmer said, "Well, I’m not sure whether I’m planting them too deep or too close together."