Sunday, May 29, 2005

I'm an Emotional Girl

I am emotional, I've always been emotional, but since I had Jackson, I've been on a roller coaster that's just out of control. All you women know the ups and downs we go through, it's just part of being a woman, but it's just to the extreme anymore, and every month I think I get a little worse.

I am having some physical problems that show up every month and it's rediculous and makes life just really unenjoyable. Then there's my crazy mood swings. I'll share tonights with you. We needed to run to WalMart to get a few items, but we had to run by the barrack's before that to drop off some chili I made for dinner to one of the single soldiers. As Chad is walking out of the barrack's, he was talking to a soldier who was about to get into his car. I asked him what he was talking to him about, this soldier..who was 19, had hard alcohol and was taking it over to a married of age soldier. Chad told him that because it was an open bottle he needed to put it in his trunk. I disagreed and thought Chad should be the responsible NCO that he normally is and should have taken the bottle and dumped it down the drain.

I felt my heart starting to pound and just race faster and faster. Part of me is angry because I think that as an NCO he must take care of his soldiers and just prevent them the best HE can from them being stupid, and as a Christian man I feel he should be sharing his love of Christ and show all those around him God's love and will, and getting drunk is not personifying Christ's love and will. At least from my understanding. my highly emotional, hormonal self I just told him to take me home before he headed for WM.

He's home already and I'm calmer, but still disappointed that he didn't do what I feel in my heart was the right thing. So I'm just praying. I'm not going to fight with him or yell at him, etc. Just going to give it over to God and let him set it in Chad's heart, HIS will, not mine!

That's a hard pill to swallow.


fairylaura said...

I totally know where you're coming from. I think that if Adrian caught one of his guy's doing that he would have taken the bottle. He's done it before too.
You remind me so much of a good friend of mine. She's the one I go to for advice and comfort. My friends here don't know what I'm going through.. they don't know anything about the military world. My good friend was my first military wife friend.. and has taught me so much. Since I was an immature 18yr old brat.. to the person I am today. She's the one that helped me find God as well. Growing up I heard about God.. but was never really introduced to him. Til my lovely friend talked to me about the Bible and took me to Church. I'm sure your husband knows if he did right or wrong. Being mad at him isn't going to make things better.. but it's good if you talk to him about it. Take care.. have a good one.


terra19728 said...

Yep very hard pill to swallow.  I have been swallowing the same pill for awhile now.  I wish the best for you.