Sometimes don't you just feel blah? I'm sitting here wide awake, which is insane since I got up at 6 am and babysat a 2 month old until 3:30 and for 2 hrs this morning watched my friends little girl while she had a root canel done and then this afternoon for about 3 hrs watched my other neighbors 3 wk old while she went to apts and didn't want to have to drag him out in the frigid cold. I made GREAT money and seriously God really provided for us when we REALLY,REALLY needed it. I just feel so in awe of God and so unworthy of his love and grace and tenderness to me. For the first time I really and truly gave him our financial burdens. In the past Chad's always managed to take care of us, when we've gotten into a rut he's managed to get us out somehow...he's a provider and he's always done that for us. With him in Iraq I knew that I truly just had to give this to GOD and let him...how silly that I've never gave it truly over to him, because I've seen him take care of us in so many ways over and over, and I know that Chad's done this yet I personally have never said "Take this God, just take it"...never I guess had to, because Chad was the willing one. So I did and he provided. He provided above and beyond too. I was able to get groceries that will for the most part cover us for the next 3 weeks or more other than those few odd and ends and the fact that I LEFT my list at home (grrr) so I didn't get quite everything...yet walking out of the store I still had 30.00 left! Now are you seeing how awesome GOD provided for our family? In a big way and he did it pretty well all today..I watched the 2 month old the last 2 days, but monetarily he provided it ALL today and I just sat here today in shock and awe!
So now, why I feel so blah I really don't know. I know I need to do my bible study for tomorrow. I've just had 2 weeks, how foolish of me to wait, but it's very typical of me. I really need to stop doing this and spend far more time with the Lord daily, and not just in prayer but in his word.
I need to figure out something else for bedtime as well, the boys are really getting difficult, ok it's mostly Jackson. He's 2, so that really explains a lot of it doesn't it, yet it's so frustrating. I need to get the next book in The Chronicles of Narnia...because normally with in a few pages of the chapter he's out, but well I haven't gotten it with money being tight, the books aren't a lot, but sometimes 10.00 I can use towards some food or gas or giving to church things that I just feel are more important than the book. Of course I could probably just check it out at the library, but that thought literally just crossed my mind. I guess because I had decided we'd just buy the series so we would have them and that over the years the boys could read them. Anyways, I just have to figure out something with the bedtime routine, it's not working right now and I'm getting very frustrated when 30 minutes, 45 minutes, 60 minutes later Jack is still getting out of bed, either running into my room to see our cat, getting up and just playing, getting up and sitting on the floor looking at a book, climbing up to the top bunk in with Jacob, which then gets Jacob going. Ahhhh, so frustrating. By the time bedtime comes around I really, really don't like to admit this, but I'm just ready for them to be in bed so I can have some quiet time alone. Oh I don't like how that sounds. I LOVE my children and love them being up and around me, but I know that with Chad being gone it just makes life a little more difficult.
Ok...tomorrow I plan on posting some new pictures, some more snow pictures (because we got more snow!) and some pictures of the boys in front of the CHRISTMAS (not holiday @@@@ that's a whole other post, but seriously it's just so beyond stupid I'm just oh it's just stupid!) Tree...it's their favorite place and daily ask to have their picture in front of it, both of them! It's so funny! Tonight Jack sat down in front of and said "picture, picture of me!" seriously how cute is that?!!
Ok, time to get going and read, then drift off to sleep.