Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I Am A Christian

by Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say.. "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say.. "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.


  This is possibly the best discription of me as a Christian as I've seen. I often feel like such scum and a failure as a Christian. I gossip, I lie (even if unintentional), I hurt others and myself, I am not always kind to others, I jump on people so quickly that my own head spins sometimes.   I'm thankful that I don't have to live this life on my own though. Wow, talk about a mess then. I know what it's like to live a life without Christ. I "thought" I was having fun and had no care in the world. I worried all the time though. I was miserable. Drinking, going to parties, meeting guys, falling in and out of what I thought was love. I'm honestly so ashamed of my past. I'm amazed when people say, "oh I wouldn't want to change anything about my past." Ha, I would and a lot of it. I wish I would have been a virgin when I met my husband. I wish I had never been so drunk that I woke up places freaking out wondering where I was and how I got there (that's scary). I was searching for something and someone to make me whole...let me tell you in that short amount of time I did A LOT of searching. I do NOT want my children to know the things I did. I can laugh at a few of the things, but it's more of an embarrassed laugh, than an "oh well..hehe" laugh.   Thank GOD he sent Jesus to die for us.

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