Ok so I let Jacob play on the computer this morning and now when I go to any aol journals the font is like 8, it's so stinking tiny and that includes my own! I have the font on this right now set at an 18, and it looks like a 10...so since all of yours are normal my font will seem huge to you compared to the normal 12 I normally use! :)
We had church this morning. Now being an Army family, living in Germany we go to the chapel on post (this is the only place we've ever gone to post chapel and when we move back to the states we'll return to our home church aka NOT a Army chapel!). With the Army chapel we have a head chaplain who normally does the preaching, then we have various other battalion chaplains who are assigned to a particular unit/battalion and if they want to and if the head chaplain's good with it, they may preach periodically. Well our Battalion recently got a new chaplain and he's so great. Not only is he just really nice, friendly, down to earth kind of guy, who's wife is just as great..he knows how to preach! Sorry to say I don't enjoy our head chaplain when he preaches. I want give it to me, make me feel convicted if that's what God's got planned for me, tell me how it is, don't hold back any punches, no fluff/make me feel good about myself preaching. I want the TRUTH. For those of you who know the bible you know that there's really not a lot of "feel good/warm and fuzzy" stories/sermons coming from it. It's rather offensive and it's anything but politically correct, and it's not what I'd call a seeker friendly book! It's the truth and there's no other way about it. Our head chaplain gives a very watered down, seeker friendly sermon week after week. He puts on annoying little skits that the first couple of times in chapel make you laugh (mostly because they're so absolutely corny and rediculous) and then they just become annoying and make you feel like you're 3 and being preached to. Not exactly what I want and definately not what I need from church. You see I know that quite often I need to go into church and get my attitude adjusted, I need to feel the wrath of GOD condemning me. Oh yes, you see I want to be disciplined and since there are Sunday mornings when I'm anything but a happy, kindly Momma and wife, much less Child of God I need to go in there and be chastised vs swaddled. Well our new chaplain has been preaching for the last few weeks and this morning he slapped my hands and sat me in a corner, I looked at Chad and said "yes I know this is for me and my hands HURT". Oh yes God grabbed me, shook me and told me to "LISTEN RIGHT NOW CHRISTY". I heard him, I asked for forgiveness, and I also recognize what I was doing this morning before going into church. What is that you ask? Well I was yelling at my husband, yelling at Jacob, popped Jacob for something that did not deserve a popping for, and was just ultimately in an ugly mood...that is until we pulled into the parking lot and I got out of the car, took Jack's hand and he joyfully went to childcare (he's refused to go in there for a couple months now and today he WANTED to!!) and then I turned on my big ole happy face as I entered the sanctuary. Hypocrit you say, absolutely I was. I was being completely 2 faced....to save face to my friends who attend chapel, because I know a few of them at least would kick me in the butt if they knew the way I behaved this morning and somewhere down inside of me I stupidly thought I could "food God" HAHA! As IF he didn't see the way I was behaving this morning.
So...the chaplain literally talked about how we can go from the screaming, raging crazy person in the car and open the door to go into church and we plaster that smile on our face, wrap our arm lovingly around the one we were just raging AT, and pretend we're just as happy as a lark! Oh yeah it was a kick in the butt kind of sermon for me and I left there sore...but I needed it.
What always amazes me when we have a chaplain who's willing to preach God's word and not water it down, is how often it grabs my heart, often slaps my hands, and when I walk out I'm desiring to read his word more, learn more, find more truths, and yes have my butt kicked even more! It's tiring. It's what I need. I don't think that seeker friendly sermons or churches do anyone any good, except for fill them with falsehoods that if they start studying the bible themselves, will fall to the waste side and they'll be in for the shock of a lifetime! IMHO. (Hence I'm NOT a fan of Rick Warren and our head chaplain went to college with him, they were friends in college...coicidence I think not!)
So...here I am humbly to state that I fall down daily, I let God down over and over and over. I am grieved over the fact that daily I do something that causes Christ grief. That in and of itself is heartbreaking and then to know that it's not just me, but well everyone, because none of us are perfect. That is a fact. The big question though is are we seeking perfection in Christ's eyes? If not, why? If so..how's it going?
Something else that has been on my mind is, am I as gentle and forgiving with my own children and husband as Christ is with me? My answer...no. So....I'm going to work on changing that. I need to be as gentle with them, as forgiving, all the while being a good disiplinarian to my children, a good, respectful, obedient (yep I just wrote that), and loving wife to Chad. I've been lacking in my morning prayer time and it's time to get back to that. My days simply went better when I spent time with God before my day actually began. I don't like mornings, but well me liking something doesn't really matter...I need to do this for God, myself, and my family. I'm a better Christy, mom, and wife when I do. If I get my day started off right, it's going to end up better at the end of the day. Does it meaneveryday is going to be smooth, always happy, etc...no but it means that it's GOD's DAY vs Christy's and that's how every single day should be for all of us!
Well, Chad's working on putting the boys beds back into bunk beds so I should get off of here and be ready to help him if he needs me to!