Thursday, March 30, 2006

Jordyn

March 30, 1998..the best day of my life, exhausting but God made me a mother that day. I would have went through days more labor and pain for even a moment of having her in my life. Instead I went through 17 hrs of slow progressing labor, stalled labor, and then no progressing labor and in the end a c-section. She was worth it. I always think of how horrible it is when I hear someone say how awful the birth of their child was (and I have heard/read horrible things about people talking about the day their child being born as horrible, because they get so fixated on what THEY went through vs fixing their eyes on the true gift of what GOD gave them...that precious beautiful baby).

 

God blessed me beyond my worth 8 yrs ago and for that I'm forever greatful. I miss my girl and can't imagine what she'd be like as an 8 yr old. I know she's safe in Heaven and in Jesus's arms. I'd never want her to come back after being up there in perfection. I do miss her though, and I do wish she would have never had to die and I could be watching her grow up into a beautiful little girl.

Tomorrow's NEVER promised, not even for our children. The only promise of tomorrow we have is if we believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior. How thankful I am to have that promise to lean on. I am worthy because Christ died for me. I imagine his love for me is like the love I feel for Jordyn, Jacob, & Jack, times about 1,000.  How unbelievably blessed we are.

"Thank you Jesus for giving me not just 1 day with Jordyn, but for giving me 2 yrs 1 month and 8 days with Jordyn.  I didn't deserve a single day of her, yet you gave her to me anyways and allowed me to love her and feel her love every single day of her life. I miss her Lord. I long to feel her in my empty aching arms. I know one day I will again. Thank you for your unending love for me and for the comfort of knowing Jordyn's safe. Thank you for the comfort while I weap when I just don't think I can miss her anymore.  Thank you for holding me close last night as I cried out to you in heart break. You're my savior, my father, my omega."

 

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Prayers Please

I have a health issue that I need prayers for. I had my once a yr and  things came back. I have to go back to the dr in the larger military hospital about an hour away in 2 weeks. Chad will thankfully be here with me, so at the very least he'll be with the boys and it takes that stress off.

I've spent a good portion of my day in prayer and just talking to GOD and trying really hard to remind myself that all things from GOD are Good and that he loves me and no matter what happens he will not leave me or foresake me.  I admit it though, I'm scared. I go back and forth between feeling complete peace to  terrified. I need to continue to lean on Jesus and I ask that you pray for me that I DO continue to lean on Christ. I do feel him with me and when I felt I was about to fall apart he gave me tremendous peace and strength.

I know I only have a few more days and I'll have Chad here to lean on as well, I'm so thankful that if this is all happening it's right before Chad comes home and I'll be able to have his love and support here in the flesh. I think we can all agree that sometimes we just need arms to wrap around us and reassure us everything's going to be alright.

So...with that I'll share the rest of my day! I had a 9 am board meeting for PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel it's a bible study for women...army wide.). After that I came home and listened to the message saying I needed to go see my Dr and discuss the results. I took Jacob to Art Class, next Tuesday is his last one. He's really enjoyed it. I went to see my dr while he was in art class. Came home, fed the boys then had to take our cat to the vet because he once again has a UTI..AHHH! He's on liquid antibiotics, please pray that he does not fight me like he did those stinking pills that he was on just 3 weeks ago! On the way to the vet Pounce (cat) decided to urinate in his carrier! Yes that's right, so he was nice and disgusting  at the vets office. Thankfully we have a great vet who I really like. Odd thing is the cat that was in the room before us urinated in it's carrier as well. Got home told the boys to lay down for a nap, called a friend of mine who I'd called when I got the news about needing to talk to my dr and was praying for me and gave her an update. Gave Pounce a bath (we all know how fun cats are to bathe). It was actually more of a shower...he's at least clean now.  The boys got up Jack needed his diaper changed and in between me taking off his wet one and putting on a new one, he pee'd in the hall, Jacob decided that was disgusting and started gagging. Instead of going to the bathroom,  he went into the living room standing on my BRAND NEW RUG he puked on it, now he could have turned left just slightly and only hit the hardwood floor...but no the boy who'd drank red koolaid with lunch , puked on my BRAND NEW RUG. I was ticked at this point. I had to go to the store and get carpet cleaner and grabbed some lemon juice...praying one or the other works to get the red off the cream color sections of the rug. I took the boys to the park for a little bit to burn off some energy, now I'm making dinner while they're in the playroom.

I'm truly exhausted and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look haggard. I saw a friend at the commissary and she said "You look exhausted, are you ok". I knew I couldn't even get into it in there, because I felt like I was going to start crying and seriously who wants to cry in a grocery store.

So....please pray for me. I KNOW without a doubt that GOD is in control and all this is happening with HIS permission and all things from God are Good. My faith is NOT waivering at all. I just know that I could use the extra prayers.

Thanks and God Bless

Prayers Please

I have a health issue that I need prayers for. I had my once a yr and  things came back. I have to go back to the dr in the larger military hospital about an hour away in 2 weeks. Chad will thankfully be here with me, so at the very least he'll be with the boys and it takes that stress off.

I've spent a good portion of my day in prayer and just talking to GOD and trying really hard to remind myself that all things from GOD are Good and that he loves me and no matter what happens he will not leave me or foresake me.  I admit it though, I'm scared. I go back and forth between feeling complete peace to  terrified. I need to continue to lean on Jesus and I ask that you pray for me that I DO continue to lean on Christ. I do feel him with me and when I felt I was about to fall apart he gave me tremendous peace and strength.

I know I only have a few more days and I'll have Chad here to lean on as well, I'm so thankful that if this is all happening it's right before Chad comes home and I'll be able to have his love and support here in the flesh. I think we can all agree that sometimes we just need arms to wrap around us and reassure us everything's going to be alright.

So...with that I'll share the rest of my day! I had a 9 am board meeting for PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel it's a bible study for women...army wide.). After that I came home and listened to the message saying I needed to go see my Dr and discuss the results. I took Jacob to Art Class, next Tuesday is his last one. He's really enjoyed it. I went to see my dr while he was in art class. Came home, fed the boys then had to take our cat to the vet because he once again has a UTI..AHHH! He's on liquid antibiotics, please pray that he does not fight me like he did those stinking pills that he was on just 3 weeks ago! On the way to the vet Pounce (cat) decided to urinate in his carrier! Yes that's right, so he was nice and disgusting  at the vets office. Thankfully we have a great vet who I really like. Odd thing is the cat that was in the room before us urinated in it's carrier as well. Got home told the boys to lay down for a nap, called a friend of mine who I'd called when I got the news about needing to talk to my dr and was praying for me and gave her an update. Gave Pounce a bath (we all know how fun cats are to bathe). It was actually more of a shower...he's at least clean now.  The boys got up Jack needed his diaper changed and in between me taking off his wet one and putting on a new one, he pee'd in the hall, Jacob decided that was disgusting and started gagging. Instead of going to the bathroom,  he went into the living room standing on my BRAND NEW RUG he puked on it, now he could have turned left just slightly and only hit the hardwood floor...but no the boy who'd drank red koolaid with lunch , puked on my BRAND NEW RUG. I was ticked at this point. I had to go to the store and get carpet cleaner and grabbed some lemon juice...praying one or the other works to get the red off the cream color sections of the rug. I took the boys to the park for a little bit to burn off some energy, now I'm making dinner while they're in the playroom.

I'm truly exhausted and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look haggard. I saw a friend at the commissary and she said "You look exhausted, are you ok". I knew I couldn't even get into it in there, because I felt like I was going to start crying and seriously who wants to cry in a grocery store.

So....please pray for me. I KNOW without a doubt that GOD is in control and all this is happening with HIS permission and all things from God are Good. My faith is NOT waivering at all. I just know that I could use the extra prayers.

Thanks and God Bless

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Anniversary

Today is Chad and I's 9th anniversasry! We've been apart for a couple of them. Our 1st anniversary I was 4 days from giving birth to our beautiful Jordyn. We drove around Manhattan (KS), looking at beautiful lake front homes, we parked at the lake and sat there and talked about how amazing the 1st yr of marriage had been, with pretty typical 1st yr hardships of living with this sometimes alien, yet loving them still. We were excited about the upcoming birth of our daughter, and honestly I was feeling pretty miserable being 2 days over due and just ready to have her!

Our 2nd anniversary was spent in a German hospital, just 2 days after our little girl had been dx with leukemia. I know Chad got me a card, and although I'm sure I had bought him at least a card, I know I didn't have it at the hospital with me and since I didn't leave the hospital for a few weeks,  I doubt he ever got even a card that year. Our 3rd anniversary we'd been told just 16 days before that the FDA study we'd hoped Jordyn would be put on, had been taken away from her...so we were looking at the future of our 1st and at that time only child dying. Our 4th we'd become parents again this time to a beautiful little boy, Jacob. Our 5th anniversary we went out for dinner, although I can't recall if we had Jacob with us or a friend watched him! Our 6th anniversary I was once again pregnant, this time with  Jackson and we were preparing to move to a 3 bedroom home from our 2 bedroom. Our 7th anniversary Chad was in Iraq. Our 8th anniversary I'm trying to remember what we did last yr (sad that I can't even remember!) and here we are to 9 yrs. He's in Iraq I'm here in Germany. One thing I know though is that we've been through a lot in 9yrs, more than a lot of people, and I feel our love is stronger than it's ever been. I'm so t hankful for this man who saw me dancing one night, who I completely blew off, who knew he liked what he saw and instead of pressuring me, he was there for me when my heart got broken, he became one of my best friends quickly and knew so much about me, that when I finally woke up and saw what a GREAT guy who was crazy about me was standing right in front of me just waiting patiently for me to get it! We started dating in November of '96 and we married 4 1/2 months later. Almost as soon as we began dating we both knew we'd be getting married and it just seemed pointless to wait!

I'm beyond blessed with Chad and so thankful God brought him intomy life!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Springing Forward In Germany

Well here in Germany it's that time to Spring forward, so 10 minutes ago I went from almost 2 am (which was already WAY past my bedtime) to 3 am! Yikes!!! I am definately thankful our church service doesn't start until 11 am. I am curious how long it'll take the boys to adjust to the time change. It'll be nice to deluge myself thinking they're waking up at 8 am vs 7 am like they normally do at least for a day or two! LOL I could only dream about them sleeping in until 8 am every morning. Jacob's my early bird boy. It'll be nice once Chad's home for good, because Chad will get home soon after Jacob gets up in the morning (from PT) and Chad likes maknig breakfast vs I who needs to adjust to being awake by sitting or laying on the couch for at least 30 minutes, so Jacob often ends up making him and Jack a bowl of cereal and recently asked to use the toaster...that was a HUGE jump for me...but he's 5 and I have to start allowing him to do some things, as long as he doesn't do anything that will harm him. He will make waffles and toast. He told me the other morning he likes that he can help me with breakfast, because he likes helping! He's such a good boy! It's nice that he's able to do this. Normally by the time they finish breakfast I'm finally feeling actually alive and we get dressed and get to working on school.

 

Ok well I have to get to bed now, it's 3:15 am! The states doesn't spring forward until next week...so for a week I'll be 7 hrs ahead of Eastern Time Zone and 10 Hrs ahead of Pacific!!! Have a blessed Sunday!

Finish The Sentence

Finish the sentence, play along if u want

The last place I drove my car was... Roller Realm (Rolling/Inline Rink)

I am..... About to go to bed when I finish this

Life is.... Good when you focus on Jesus!

I light a candle when.. rarely I burn tarts, although on Jordyn's birthday and anniversary I light her candle in memory of her.

I would like to.... See everyone I know and love come to Christ

God is... Great and All Powerful

Nothing makes me happier than... Jesus and my family

Maybe I should.... get started cleaning my bedroom!

I love.... Jesus, Chad, All 3 of my children, and my friends, oh and brownies! LOL

I don't understand.... why more people aren't fighting to stop childhood cancer.

I lost my... daughter to AML leukemia May 8, 2000.

People say I'm.... Nice

Somewhere someone is... crying out to Jesus

I will always.... Know that I'm loved.

I never want to.... Go back to the days before I lived for Christ.

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is.... Why do these boys like getting up soooo early!

Life is full of..... possibilities

Take time to smell....the roses

Nice...

Tomorrow I am going to... church in the morning and Awana in the late afternoon.

I have low tolerance for....liars

I like to wear my shirt.... a little baggy

Coffee is... not something I like at all.

I think smoking is..... nasty...wish my parents, sil, and everyone I know and love  would stop

I get annoyed when... people try to discredit Christ.

My job.... wonderful! I'm a mom!!!

For a Klondike bar I would.... sing

Always have... faith

A stitch in time....

Never put.... worldly goods above God and his word

If I was only allowed to say one word for the rest of my life it would be... 

My bath tub is... great...it's long and deep, although if it was one that fit 2 people with jets, that'd be better!

Variety is.... good most the time

Home is.... where the Army sends us.

If the shoe fits....  wear it

Children are....a gift from God.

Peace is....something that will NEVER  happen until Christ returns.

After a day at my house you would want to.... hopefully stop by again.

Animals are... great most the time

Money talks....and that's one fo the MANY problems with our world.

I cross my....heart

My heart will....always be full....

Immediately give in when....God commands/convicts you.

Grocery shopping.... is best when Chad does it! LOL

The Last thing I mailed was...package to Chad in Iraq!

I could eat.... brownies, but haven't!

Time is...going by too quickly with my boys and not fast enough with Chad in Iraq!

 

 

Friday, March 24, 2006

7 yrs ago...our world turned upside down

March 24, 1999 a little before midnight, German time...our world as we knew it ended and a new one began. Our precious little Jordyn who was 6 days from turning 1 yr old was dx with leukemia. It was another day or two (unfortunately that's just a haze to me as far as exactly what day we found out what type she had) before we were told that she had the type of leukemia the pediatrician told us to pray she DIDN'T have. She indeed had AML leukemia and worse yet she had CNS (centeral nervous system) involvement...meaning she had leukemia in her spinal fluid. When she was dx she had what appeared to be a lump on her temple, we thought that only days before she'd bumped her head in the childcare room at church. We were wrong. It was a cluster of leukemia cells.

That night I can still feel the terror of the unknown that awaited us. Would she be dead by morning, would she be dead in a few days? Those were the thoughts going through my mind. We were initially told that she would be flown to Walter Reed in the morning. We hurried and called a good friend to take care of our dogs and cat and who we'd be giving power of attorney to, to take care of our household goods and car to be shipped back to the states. I can still remember  calling my family. My parents had just moved into their new home they had built, just 1/4 of a mile down the road from the one they built when I was in the 8th grade. I had to call my grandma who lived in town (she later bought my parents old house with her other son). and told her I couldn't get ahold of Mom and Dad and told her  Jordyn had leukemia and asked her to drive out to Mom and Dad's and have them call me back. With in an hour they were on the phone and we were all sobbing and t hey were planning on coming to DC as soon as we got there. I am sure Chad called his mom, but  honestly I can't remember. Jordyn was up in ICU for the night. Initially they tried to put her in a tented bed for her breathing treatment (she had croup, which is what brought us to the ER that night), of course what almost 1 yr old wants to lay in a tented bed...so t hankfully they let me hold her and either Chad or I held the mask up to her face as she slept on our shoulders, as we sat in those ever so comfortable chairs. That morning, about the time we thought we should be leaving for Ramstein to get on a plane, the dx pediatrician came in and said there was a change of plans...she wasn't going immediately to Walter Reed, that instead they were sending us to Homburg University about 20 minutes down the road (NOT HAmburg, but HOmburg). It was of course daunting to be going to a German hospital, but we were reassured that plenty of the staff spoke English well and she'd be getting the BEST care. They were correct. She had Germany's leading Ped. Oncologist as her dr. How blessed we were to have this man over our precious girls care. Not only is he the leading peds oncologist, he has a heart of gold.  He'd come in to Jordyn's room and have tea parties with her. He was great about talking to Chad and I and explaining everything to us, and making sure we had no questions unanswered.

Seven years ago, I started crying and literally cried for the next 48 hrs, then I was able to give it to GOD. I never imagined my daughter would have cancer. I never imagined we'd live in a world that cancer and all that it entails would become our new NORMAL, and I never imagined that just 14 short months later, I'd bury my beautiful, beautiful little girl.

God does not promise us tomorrow. He does not promise our children tomorrow...not on this earth anyways. He does promise that if we believe in him, and accept Christ as his son, we will have a tomorrow in Heaven. I'm so thankful that I know I will see Jordyn again. I know she has no more pain, no more tears, there's only joy and laughter coming from her now.

I pray that if you have  not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal living Savior you will. Jordyn taught me more in her  2 yrs 2 months and 8 days of living than I had learned up until that point. I wish she were here. I wish God would have cured her body of leukemia the way I begged him to, but he didn't, and I know without a doubt that his love for me and for Jordyn in inmeasurable and he KNOWS BEST. I don't understand it, but what I do  understand is that all things are here to Glorify our Lord. God is GOOD. He gave me just over 2 yrs with Jordyn and those were 2 yrs that I did NOT deserve to have her. I don't deserve any of my precious children...yet God blesses me with them. I'm so thankful that I and only I  can say I am the mother of a beautiful girl named Jordyn Ashleigh. 7 yrs ago my world changed, I found that I was stronger than I ever thought possible, that my marriage was stronger than I knew, that my husband was stronger, that  Jordyn was stronger than I ever could imagine...most of all I saw that God's grace was stronger thanall those combined.

 

Monday, March 20, 2006

I wanna be.....

Betty had a GREAT entry this morning/last night...

http://journals.aol.com/lv2trnscrb/Ofmini-pawsandmenopause/entries/354

She talks about how her teenage son talks about wanting to be 10 again and then went for it for 1 1/2 hrs.

She discusses the mother's view point of being 10 again as well.

Go back to when you were 10 and tell me what were the great things about being 10 (or go back to an even younger age...that age of being carefree, no worries, fun times..just pick a number ok). Write an entry or leave it in my comments below, on Friday I'll put up an entry of everyone who's decided to be 10 again.

 

My next challenge to you is if you have children tell me what's great about the age they are at. If you have teenagers, go back to that carefree age that you didn't have to worry about so many things (like 5 or 10) if you have younger kids like me....pick your favorite age/stage so far and tell me why it's so great.

 

I look forward to reading about your memories! :)

 

Make sure you check out Betty's GREAT entry and leave her a comment as well!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Great Day, Great Finds!

The boys and I went downtown today. If I haven't shared it before, this is exactly where we are supposed to be! I love it here so much I can't even describe the peace that God's placed inside of my heart. Anyways....the boys and I went shopping and just looking around! I wanted to get my best friends husband a Thank you gift for all the help he's given us out quite a few times with computer issue's. I found him a really great Stein! I was so excited about this and the price I got it for was truly just AMAZING! It was half the price I expected to pay! I also got Chad and I down comforters for our bed! I'm so thrilled about that too! I also got another friend of mine, her husband some "Smokey" Beer, it was a really nice little gift set. He's not much of a drinker, and the smokey beer is from our town so even if he doesn't like it, he'll hopefully enjoy the thought. :)

I found a really cute little shop it's half a chocolate store/half cafe. The chocolates are made into so many neat things! I got the boys each one...Jacob's is a rabbit in race car and Jack's is two rabbit's playing together. I'm going to go get the boys some for Easter as well, and for my nieces!

 

The boys and I found a nice little resturant and had a great typical German lunch. We walked around and just really enjoyed the city we're apart of. I love this city. I love living in Germany. We are so incredibly blessed to be able to live abroad. God's blessed me far beyond my worth and I just have to Praise him and thank him!

 

I'm planning on going back out tomorrow. I'd like to find something for another friend. There are so many great finds out there and I just love exploring this city. All the side streets. Saturday's are normally pretty crowded downtown, so if I decide not to go tomorrow, I'll be heading back down there on Monday. Oh! I forgot, I found me a new purse. I've had my current one for a couple yrs. I admit I'm not too picky on the purse other than I like it to be a nutural color and one that looks good when I'm dressed up or down. I found a really cute one that's actually more dressed up, but works great both ways. It's bigger than what I've had, which really I like. I've done pretty good the last few yrs in just carrying what I need, yet the purse I have my wallet fits in it TIGHTLY, it's nice not to have to TUG the wallet out!

I really truly enjoyed my day of shopping and wondering around and so did the boys. They really NEEDED to just be outside, getting fresh air and excercise. I needed it too. I'm thinking if I go on Monday...I may brave it and take the bus! I'm going to drop by the office of a friend here and double check on what bus I need to bring me back to post, but I know the boys will love it and since parking isn't the best downtown, it'll be nice! Have a FABULOUS weekend!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Computer on the blitz

My computer's on the blitz, hopefully tomorrow or over the weekend I can get it fixed. It's still under warranty so I may end up sending it off to be fixed. I didn't get all my pictures burned to CD's, so although to some they will think it's a silly request, please pray that I can get it back up and running to at least get my pictures burned to cd's.

Chad's going to be home in a couple weeks for his R&R and we're going to buy him a new laptop, which he's going to leave here so it doesn't get full of dust and sand while in Iraq...so if I have to send off my computer which they said could take weeks to get back, I'll have that. Right now I'm using our old computer that we use primarily for homeschooling and the boys to play games on...it's slow and old, but for now beggars can't be chosers.

I have been getting a lot of reading done. So far I've read "For Laci" by Sharon Rocha. I highly recommend this book. I of course didn't like Scott Peterson before, but my opinion dropped even more (didn't realize that was possible) after reading this book. Have tissue's handy, it is a bereaved mother writing...but it was well written and you get a feel for what a beautiful soul Laci had, and I honestly kept hoping they WOULD find her alive, yet knowing she was dead. :(

Then I read "When I Lay My Isaac Down" by Carol Kent. This should be a must read for everyone. It was a wonderful book that I'll probably refer back to time and time and time again for years to come. It hit home for me in so many ways, convicted my heart time and time again, and just really made me look at things from both perspectives.

I am now currently reading "Blood Brother: 33 Reasons Why My Brother Scott Peterson Is Guilty" by Anne Bird. Anne is Scott's mother's daughter who she reliquished at birth and was raised by amazing parents. She reunited with her mother and siblings in 1997, initially believing in Scott who she'd felt close to (and also Laci)...but obviously from the title of the book changed her minds as with nearly everyone who followed this heartbreaking murder. I'm over half-way through the book so far, and it's been a good read as well. It gives you new insight on Scott, his obviously guilty/odd behavior, as well as his mother, who I have formed strong opinions on. Knowing she loves her child, yet to be in so much insane denial and to actually blame the parents of the murder victim is just plain disgusting.

I will be finished with the book in the next day or two and will be moving on to a new one to read, so I'll let you know my final thoughts on this one and let you know what I'm reading next!

I got Jacob's first shipment of homeschooling materials. We're both excited to get officially started. We've been doing things already that I feel is homeschooling, but God bless this sweet boy of mine,  he wants that "official" feeling of books in front of him! :) So starting Monday we'll be sitting down for an  hour or two to do school work. I have preschool material for Jackson that I'll be starting next week as well. I think Jack will do well with it and it'll help Jacob really to have that more structured schedule with Jack vs the little wild man, being well soooooo wild! LOL

I mentioned it above, Chad will be home for  his R&R in a couple more weeks! We're getting excited! We'll be heading down to Edelweiss a few days after he gets home for a couple days. While we're down there we're going to go into Austria and  I'm really hoping over to Switzerland as well. I'd like on the way there to stop in Munich and tour some if Chad's up for it. A friend of mine is going to keep the boys over night one night that Chad's home and   I'm planning on us taking the train down to Nuremburg, going out to eat, and just walking around and relaxing, and just enjoying an evening alone together! :X I'm so excited to know my husband's going to be with me and our boys for 14 days! I'm going to get him a back massage, I'm going to check out some places off post to see if they do couple massages, so we could have one done together, I know I'd enjoy t hat and C had would too!

I already bought him a birthday gift...a chess set. I  bought it last weekend at the Bazaar that was held at another Army base not far from us. He learned to play chess when he was in Iraq the first time and has wanted a chess set since then. I found a beautiful, hand carved one. It wasn't the most expensive or the biggest, but I thought it was really  beautiful, well made, and a nice size that when we move back to the states and buy our own home and have an office or den...we can have it set up permantly for him. He's also getting a new laptop, I think that's going to be a joint Anniversary gift though since I'll be using it  for the next 6 months! :) He needs a new laptop though, he can't play most of the computer games he has on his old one, the game card I believe it is on his current one isn't big enough. Once he gets back, I am planning on giving the boys  his old laptop so we can get rid of this 2nd desk we have right now. I have other things I'd rather have in the dining room area than 2 desks! :) Plus since we have wireless, if Jacob needs to be online for any schooling projects I can just get him online easily with me sitting right beside him, and a laptop's far more compact!

Well, I know this is a boring entry...and I hadn't written anything in 11 days, but well that's life!

Oh before I go, I don't know if I have asked here or not, but please keep my Uncle Duane in your prayers. My dad has 11 siblings (there's 12 of them total!), Duane is the 2nd born, oldest son (my dad's the 2nd son #5 child). Duane has been smoking  for over 40 yrs I'd say, I'm sure he was a teenager or early 20's when  he started smoking, and he's a chain smoker at that. He was dx with lung cancer in July  '04, it spread to his  hip and then shoulder. They got rid  of it in the hip and shoulder, and he went into remission for a time being, but it returned.  He's now  dying. The cancer is everywhere. I honestly thought 2 weeks ago he wouldn't make it to the end of the week from what my mom told me, but  he's still hanging in there. He's also diabetic, isn't taking his insulin, or eating much at all...the eating issue doesn't surprise me at all since he's dying. I'm not sure why the hospice nurse isn't making sure he's taking his insulin, but it's been an issue. He has his good days, with many bad days. My grandmother had 12 pregnancy's, 12 healthy births...she buried her husband 25 yrs ago, has buried 1 grand child, 2 great grandchildren (Jordyn being one of the great grands), this will be her 1st child to bury. I ache for her. Her and my uncle live together. They bought the house my parents built when I was in 8th grade (my parents built a house that's 1/2 mile down the road and 1/4 of the mile off the road...so they live close). The siblings are all fairly close. Please keep all of them in your prayers. Please pray that Uncle Duane's death is as gentle as possible.   Please pray that my parents and siblings that smoke will realize that this IS what's the cause of their brother's death and will wake up and quit. I don't want to bury my dad or mom because of this horrible addiction. Pray for my SIL as well, that she'll quit smoking too, then my nieces can grow up in a healthy  home vs a smoke filled one, like I had to.

God Bless and Thank you

Sunday, March 5, 2006

I somehow missed last weeks question...but Dona has the weekly "Easy Like Sunday Morning" question and here's this week. IF you want to play along...copy and paste into YOUR journal and leave the link in Dona's journal.

 

Now for the question this week.

Home improvement projects not only brighten up and revitalize the places we call home, they also give us insights into ourselves and help us discover just how deep, or shallow, our inner wells of patience can be.  I'll be glad when my kitchen project is over for many reasons, but mainly because it involves my kitchen; the constant shifting of the stove and frig, not being able to walk on the floor or even go into the kitchen, the smell, the DUST!...it all adds up to a major inconvenience.  Temporary I know, but I do live in the here and now...so I want it done, now!  One thing I have learned, when it comes to kitchens, everybody has an opinion. 

So, tell me...

Is there a room, or place, at your home that you would love to change in a major way?  Maybe the colors are wrong, or it was decorated by the previous owner.  Even if you can't actually do the project, what would you do?  What changes would you love to make?  Would you go for the sleek lines of a contemporary look, the richness of a traditional style, maybe the down-home comfort of Americana, or those wacky shapes and colors of a retro look.  Go wild, get creative.  Tell me about that special place you have and what you wish you could do to make it really yours!  Use your imagination...after all, in day dreams money is no object!  Use photos, either yours or something from the internet, to convey the colors, the styles, the lines, the textures, the feeling you are going for.  Some of you have expressed a wish to change your home, so tell me about it!

 

 Home is a place where the small are great and the great are small.  --Anonymous

 

Ah...the question of all questions from a Military Wife who's been living in military housing for years now. Let me tell you this...we all have the same awful beige/off white ugly Military plain color. Well being that I dislike this color so much so first off every wall in this apartment would be changed and no room would be the same color. I'll start with my kitchen, it's actually been redone right before we moved. The color, well I like kitchens that are bright. I do NOT want white. I'd go for a nice yellow, not a bright yellow and not a pastel yellow...right in the middle. I also have my kitchen decorated in Apples. I would change a couple of my cabinets here. We have one that pulls out it's at least 6 feet in height, but has these rediculous wire shelves I guess you could call them. It does not work for spices no the spaces are too big. We keep cereal, pasta, rice, things like that in there. It's not very functional and just an odd cabinet. Then there's the another cabinet that's in this same unit as the previous one (in between them is the broom cabinet). Now this cabinet we keep can goods in, mostly because that's all you can keep in it. It's depth is literally a can, that's it. We can place 3 cans of veggies beside each other. There are 4 shelves on top and 3 on the bottom. I'll have to take a picture one of these days and show you these crazy cabinets of mine. I'll say this...1. a woman did NOT design these cabinets, someone who NEVER uses a kitchen must have, because it makes NO SENSE!! There's also a table in there, that is a catch all. It's built in, I guess this is common in German households...they serve their coffee and tea's there. We're thinking of getting some stools or taller chairs, just two to go there. Try and make it more functional.

The living room and dining room is one great room. I'd like to go with a honey tone in here. I know it sounds similar to what we have, but trust me it'd be different. Maybe paint a border or buy a wall paper border. I have Americana going on in the living room and dining room, it's also mixed with German items we're picking up. I'd like a new chair or two for the living room and a bigger dining room table. We have a table for 4 right now, we plan to have more children and like having friends over for dinner so we need a larger dining set. The living room, I have found a beautiful rug that I want to buy from a vendor who comes on post every week or so. It'd go great with our furniture.

The bathroom, I'd go with soft sea tones. A sea blue or green on the walls, with coordinating towels, rugs, pictures, etc.

The boys playroom. Bright colors! They both love super hero's. Chad's very talented and could draw anything they wanted on the walls. We could go with a white basecoat and then have BatMan, SpiderMan, SuperMan, etc....I'd want a fun room for them, to play and feel alive in. It'd definately be their choice though. The boys bedroom, I'd go for blue or green walls. I have also found a great kids rug for the playroom, it's bright and just so fun to look at. Their bedroom, I'd find a rug that would go well with their walls.

Now to our masterbedroom. I want something soft and inviting. I like to change our bed set every few yrs and am really into liking the white down comforters, they honestly just look so wonderful comfy. When you go to hotels here, they have the best down comforters, I'd love to have one of them. I could have a variety of sheets for the fact that with white comforter it's neutral to go with anything. The walls I'd like to be lavender. I want that softness still flowing around me and I LOVE purple. Our bedroom suite is not very old, it's only 4 yrs old actually...but it's just not what I'm wanting. I want something less bulky. I'd love a sleigh bed or maybe even simpler. My dresser wouldn't be as tall as what I have now, although I do want a mirror on it. Chad's chest of drawers could actually be the same. I wouldn't mind a little lighter shade of the furniture also. Our bedroom carpet, a light beige color.

Now if we owned our own home there'd possibly be far more to go into...but beggers can't be chosers! :) So for now that's the dream I have for this apartment! Here we are allowed to paint the walls. We have to go through a paint class and we can only use the pre-approved paints they have. They're pastels..again beggers can't be chosers! When Chad comes home for R&R I'd LOVE to be able to paint at least one room, I'd do the painting, but I'll need his help moving furniture, etc. I think if I do end up doing it...it'll be either the living room or our bedroom...we'll just see, I may just end up waiting until he's home for good!

Saturday, March 4, 2006

Charley does a weekly Friday Five, if you want to play...copy and paste THEN leave a link in  Charley's guestbook.

 

The Friday Five - serious style (don't say I didn't warn you)

As always, congratulations to last week's first player: Deb, of Frosty Thoughts! Take a break from your day - read her daily entries. And if you need a temptation, she always tells you what's for dinner!

Lest you think I forgot - let's get serious:

1. When is the last time you cried - and I mean cried? Last night. I was looking at Make a Child Smile website (www.macs.org) and got to missing Jordyn so much, it just took over. Jordyn was a featured MACS kid March/00 (I highly advise to visit and send at least a card)

2. Do you believe in an afterlife? Why/why not? Yes absolutely. It speaks of Heaven in the bible, my daughter's in Heaven and I look forward to spending eternity without any more tears, but joyfully with my sweet girl, other family members, most importantly with Jesus!

3. If you had the power to raise one person from the dead - would you take it? Why or why not? Hmmmm, honestly I don't know. Of course being a mom who's buried her child, the obvious and only answer would be Jordyn..but she's safe in Jesus's arms. The thought of taking her from PERFECTION to this place that's anything but...I just couldn't do that to her.

 

4. Do you buy into the whole, "Don't be sad at a funeral" thing? I'd like to say yes, but I've been through enough funeral's to know that yes you can smile and laugh, but there are still the tears and longing for that person to still be with us.

5. Make a wish - what is it? I don't do wishes, just prayers.

Friday, March 3, 2006

A Little Plug

For those who haven't read it or forgot we had it or just didn't know...my husband, although mostly me keep a Deployment Journal while he's in Iraq.

Chad will write me emails specificially for the journal and I just post them on there. I write about how it is for me being the one "left behind" and Chad writes about how it is for him at "The Front".

If you want a taste of what it's like, please come by and visit. Chad's working on getting better at sending updates. He's planning on sending at least 1 update a week. We want this to give people a look at what it's REALLY like, not what the ever so liberal and EXTREMELY biased media likes to portray. Show that there's just as much, if not MORE good happening in Iraq than bad.

Here's the link...feel free to share it with others as well! For those who don't know, Chad left the end of October and will be gone a full 12 months. He will get to come home for R&R which is a 2 week vacation, that'll be coming up in the next couple of months. We're all ready and excited for that to get here.

TalesfromtheFrontandtheonesleftBehind

 

God Bless

Christy

Weekend Assignment #101: Very Hidden Talents

Weekend Assignment #101: Very Hidden Talents

Here's a fun and simple topic for this week's Weekend Assignment:

Weekend Assignment #101: Name a talent that you don't have that you wish you did. This can also include talents you have a little bit of, but wish you had more.

Extra credit: Do you have any completely useless talents?

 

I wish I could draw. I can make a stick person, although even he looks pretty sad. My 5 yr old and my wonderful husband, they both can draw amazingly, as can my brother and my mom's brother. I though have NO talent when it comes to drawing or painting. Sad but true!

Useless talents. I don't know if it's a talent or not, but I can talk on the phone to good friends for hours on end, but put me on the phone with someone I dont know well or just don't want to talk to and I'm very good at ending the conversation in less than 2 minutes! lol

Thursday, March 2, 2006

Little Update

It's been a while since I updated. Things are going well here, we've been quite active here lately. This past weekend we went down to Garmish to a resort and lodge specifically for the military. We went down in October with Chad and loved it then and loved our stay again. We went this time with our Family Readiness (Support) Group. It was a lot of fun. Jacob got to go sking. I was going to ski myself, but ended up sick (yes again). Jacob did great though and had so much fun! He's a natural of course, what young kid isn't it seems! They were sooo out doing the adults who were learning! LOL

Tonight I have a Family Enrichment Dinner. We're doing the study on "Parenting Isn't For Cowards" by Dr. James Dobson (I LOVE him!) we get free childcare, free dinner for the kids, free dinner for us, and a great study at a wonderful resturant. The kids are fed in a seperate room.

I would like to ask all of you to please keep my family in your prayers. My dad is #5 out of 12 siblings. His oldest brother, who's the 2nd child is dying from cancer. It started off as lung cancer, spread quickly to his hip, he had a hip replacement, then it went to his shoulder, they were able to cut that out. The cancer in his lungs seemed to be responding and he was doing well....then last summer (about a yr after his initial dx) they found tumors in his brain, and shortly there after they found cancer just everywhere. He was a chain smoker for at least 40 yrs (he's in his mid to late 50's). He had quit when he was initially dx, but last summer he began again. It truly infuriated me and I told him he was being very stupid and careless with his life. Right now though, he's at the end of his life. He's not doing well. His skin has a green tint to it. He's barely eating (he's a VERY large man...6'5 probably weighing 350-400 lbs) he's a diabetic and he's not taking his insulin. He and my grandma bought the house that my parents built in the early 90's, they've lived there for about 5 yrs or so, after my parents built a new house farther from the dirt/gravel road...they only live about 1/2 mile from my parents and about 1/4 of a mile from my brother...so they go and see him and check on my grandma and help her everyday. He's getting hospice care. Please keep my Uncle in your prayers that his death is as gentle as possible and that my Grandma feels God's love with her every step of the way. She's a wonderful unwaivering Christian woman who buried her husband 25 yrs ago, raised 12 kids, their youngest was only 12 yrs old when my Grandpa died from diabetes complications. Six of my Grandma's children (including my uncle) smoke...my dad is one of them (my mom does also). Please pray that something will click for them all to stop smoking. My parents have lost a grandchild from cancer, and my dad's now losing a brother not just from cancer, but from smoking which caused his cancer. I WANT my parents to be around to see their Great Grandchildren to be born and possibly Great-Great grandchildren. I want them to be able to breath and not cough when they lay down (this is my mom). I want them to be healthy. They're both still young, my dad is in his early 50's and my mom is in her late 40's....if they quit now they'd have a good 30 or MORE healthy years to live. They wouldn't have to be "inconvienced" by our visits (when we do visit) by having to go outside to smoke, etc...

Those of you who know me, know this is a hot subject for me. I don't want my parents to die from something they could prevent.

Thank you for the prayers...here's pictures from last weekend.               The Bavarian Alps, we could see this view from our room

 This is the lodge and more of the Alps Behind. The picture above those were out to the front/side of the lodge.

 

  Jacob learning to ski Jacob and Jack playing in the snow in front of the resort.