Monday, October 10, 2005

I "used" to be on a Christian chat board, but have found that more and more it's either "lets see how we can put this person down" or lets pat this person on the back for being self-righteous and hateful...but don't anyone dare call them on those nasty little things because YOU are then being self-righteous and hateful. I finally had it when a mom who's child is allergic to dairy, goes to church and quite a few serives and activities at the church throughout the week and uses the nursery, and yet the childcare workers continued to give her child diary products (the mother wrote ON the little one's name tag..NO DAIRY) put it on the sign in sheet, and physcially told them! Yet these women who are on this Christian board tell her that she can't expect people to go and change all their snacks just for her child, even though this MOM was bringing her child SAFE snacks...but again the childcare workers were just too lazy. I watched a certain few tear this mom down, as they like to do with another young mom and make it seem like it's her fault.

It broke my heart. I definately spoke up and called them out on their words, while encouraging the mom that no she was NOT over-reacting because she was upset with the childcare workers (and other than going to the Head minister, she'd talked with everyone who has anything to do with children's ministry which is where the nursery falls under).

At what point is it ok to blame the parent who is trying to do her best for her child? At what point has it become ok to blame a little child who is just barely 2 yrs old, that it's that child's responsibility to NOT eat goldfish crackers, since they have cheese in them and give her nasty reactions that lasts days. At what point do we say that if you're leaving your child in someone else's care, they are TAKING responsibility for that child. When is it ok for other Christian mom's to put down another mom who is trying to PROTECT her child.

I know I'd be furious if someone gave Jackson juice, after I specificially told them not to, (it just runs right through the little guy). If I didn't tell them, sure that would be my fault and I've done that before, therefore it is on me because it was my fault for not telling/reminding.

I don't know maybe I'm insane, over-protective, jerk who thinks it's time for adults to stop being so freaking self centered and see that if we are going to work in a nursery,be a home day care provider, or work in a daycare center, or watch a friend's child....while that/those child(ren) are in our care they are our responsibility and that includes every single thing that goes into their mouth. If we know a child is allergic to a food, we don't feed it to them. Yes, it does seem like more and more kids are allergic to more and more things...well it is the truth, and whether we like it or not as a society, as parents, as someone who's taking on the responsibility to watch others children, we need to protect these children. We wouldn't send a 2 yr old outside to the front yard to play alone without supervision.

I don't know am I insane? Is this mom over-reacting for being upset that although she's done everything she should HAVE to do (going and talking to over 5 different people is doing what she should be doing I think!) to protect her child. She shouldn't have to sit in bible study class worrying if the nursery worker is filling her child up with cheese snacks, etc.

It's not even me, but yet it just has me so steamed up. I just don't get it. I have no quit posting on the board, because I just saw too much critizism on a mom who's only doing the best she can for her child. It is the parents job to raise their children...that's an absolute. When we put them in the care of another adult though...we shouldn't have to fear that the childcare worker will purposely harm my child with a food they know she's allergic to.

It's sad, disturbing, and just plain disgusting to me.


lv2trnscrb said...

I have found that "we" Christians are sometimes the more judgmental and less forgiving people than others who are not Christian. I find it sad and disturbing, too, Christy, that people would treat this mother like that when she was posting her thoughts and reactions on a support board I'm gathering. I think you were wise to stop posting on that board. I had to leave a email group that was suppose to support Christian women losing weight because members were turning on each other and I thought that was disgusting to see and they would not be open minded to at least listen to someone else's opinion.

For the record, I work in our church nursery with infants and crawlers. We offer cheerio's to the crawlers, but we ask the parents first and if they say no, we do mark the tag and we do monitor that child closely when we give out snacks. They do the same for the older kids where they give out cheese-nips.


randlprysock said...

Awww, that is so sad. The workers should accomodate the mother, especially in this case.  I think you are in the right.  What a terrible situation.  The child care facility should be ashamed of themselves.  I would be outraged.  From one mom to another,

deshelestraci said...

I totally agree with you.  Not the child's fault she is allergic to dairy.  People are so insensitive.  Especially most Christians ( am one myself but am changing the insensitive part).
Give 'em heck!

kiplingcrissy said...

I understand completely about the dairy thing. My daughter couldn't handle dairy for  a while and I had a friend who would give her a little bit of this and a little bit of that. She was convinced that just a bite could not hurt.  But, when Kasidee was up all night screaming with a tummy ache and her little butt was red with sores she would dote all over her and say how it was terrible how she always had a rash and would throw me dirty looks. so, I think whatever this mother has to do she should. It is not fair to put a child through that kind of pain just because they don't believe the mom or do not care. Also, I feel that some christian women feel as if they are holier than thou and they keep a lot of young women out of church. I tried several churches before I found one that was excepting of the "old me".  Just because I am an unwed mother does not mean that I or anyone else is less worthy of GOD's love.
Cristina (

angcrewswife said...

I completely agree. How horrible for people to do that to her for trying to protect her childs life! Ugh Im sorry but my childs safety comes first and foremost...Im sorry you are so stressed out take a hot bath and try to relax. Im sure tomorrow will be better. Take Care

sangrialel said...

I totally agree with you on this one!!  Adults who agree to take care of another persons child should follow the advice of the parent, espcially concerning allergies, they can be very harmful!  I am glad that you stuck up for this mother!  Lelly