I LOVE Sunday's. I go to church and hear GOD's word, I have fellowship with fellow Christians and those who are seeking Christ, who may be falling away from him, but yet are still holding on. This is our first duty station that a military Chapel has felt like a home church. When we were stationed in Baumholder 7 yrs ago, we had started attending church (Chapel) not long before Jordyn was dx...we were liking the church over all, but hadn't really developed any close bonds there...but it was truly Chad and I's first experience at church together as a couple and as a family with Jordyn, I'm thankful for that little chapel in Strassburg Kaserne. They gave us love and support when Jordyn was dx. Our chaplain was wonderful and came once a week at least to visit us. The 2nd night after she was dx he showed up to the hospital about 10 pm, Chad had left to go home for the night, and I was laying beside Jordyn with tears flowing, trying to figure out how my seemingly healthy and very beautiful little girl, who wasn't even 1 could possibly have cancer and could have not the "good" leukemia...but the one the diagonising ped told us to pray she wouldn't have. There was little hope inside of me when he walked into her room. He prayed for Jordyn, prayed for and with me, and gave me a hug. He was there less than 30 minutes, but in that time gave me a book (When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold S.Kushner-Rabbi)...that visit and that book truly changed how I was dealing with this life changing time. I stopped crying, stopped being mad at GOD, and started for the 1st time to have Hope and started to depend on GOD. Anyways! :) I got a little off track there, but that's ok!
Sunday's and loving today. We had church this morning. Chaplain spoke on Luke 2:41-52 Now a couple months ago these verses were discussed in my women's bible study class. If you don't know these verses, please look them up and read them and think about how you as a parent would react to find that after a day of walking, your child was not with you. That when you then walked back (again took a day) and finally on that third day you find your child whow was possible 12 or 13 yrs old he tells you" Why were you searching for me?" he asked. " Didn't you know I had to be in my FAther's house?" As a mother, I think I'd be fuming. Yet Mary already knew that her son was God's and that although she didn't understand, she accepted it. It's amazing to me. Mary's love and acceptance to follow GOD. How often I fight what God wants me to do. How often have I unknowingly turned against what GOD wants from me and reacted or did my own way. I think most of us are guilty of that.
One of the other things we discussed was how at times God allows us and our children to suffer. That even in bad, a greater good is in works. Will we always see or recognize that good immediately. I don't believe so. I still struggle seeing any good from Jordyn having cancer and dying, yet I have to believe that through all that she and we went through, there is something good and glorious that came from those 14 months of battling cancer and her ultimate death.
A personal thought I had that went along with what the Chaplain spoke on in his sermon was this: "When we're in God's house, truly his house, we'll grow in favor with God and men with wisdom and statue. To grow in favor and in grace of God. As parents we must be obedient to God in raising our children." I don't believe that God's house is only stone or wooden buildings that most of us call a church. It can be our home, it can be in the car....it's where we're fellowshipping with others and sharing God's word, love, etc.
I need to go to church. I need to learn from others, so that my own relationship with GOD can grow. I learn and absorb while in church, from the sermon and other parishners. I love talking to others who love GOD. Some are farther in their walk with the Lord, some are about where I'm at, and some are just starting their walk. I am kept accountable there also. I have really been working at surrounding myself with others who love the Lord. Does it mean that I stay away from those who are not walking with GOD, no, but I feel for myself it's very important to surround myself mostly with fellow Christians.
When I came home today. I kissed my boys, sat down and prayed for all of us. I need to do that more often, daily at least if not more. I challenge each of you to look at where you're at today, this moment in your walk with Christ. Are you standing still, going backwards, or moving forward.
I pray you have a wonderful Sunday! We will be leaving in about 20 minutes for Awana! We haven't had it in 3 weeks and I think we've all missed it!
God Bless and Happy Sunday!