Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Remembering Jordyn

Today was the last day of Jordyn's life. I had written so much out, poured my heart out actually and before I could hit save AOL signed me off. God allowed me to get it out, but did not allow me to show it for all the world to see. I'm positively emotionally drained. I just ask that you keep Chad and I in your prayers. I am not sure yet what we're going to do to mark Jordyn's Welcoming into Heaven day, it's a very bittersweet day, to know she fell asleep in my arms and woke up in Jesus'. I wish I could say I gave and give all the glory to Jesus, but I can't. I'm a selfish, sinful mom/woman who aches for her child in her arms. I weap, I've screamed, I've kicked, and wailed. I know where she's safely at though and I rejoice for her. I would NEVER want her to leave Heaven to return here....just wish she wouldn't have went to Heaven quite so soon. I wish she'd have had another 80 yrs, with never having had deal with cancer, but that's not how life is for her or us. I will definately take quite time tomorrow at 5 AM EST., which will be 11 am CET and just think of Jordyn. I ask that each of you, if you're awake at that point to pray for me and Chad and remember Jordyn.

 

Feb 10, 2000..Jordyn and Mommy

I miss you, I love you, I can't wait until we're together again.

16 comments:

crewsfour said...

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child and pray to God daily that I never will, I don't think I'm strong enough.   You are truly a person to be admired Christy and I commend you for having such a powerful strength and belief.  I have thought about you, Jordyn, Chad, Emma and the boys this week and will continue to pray for you.  I will be sure to set my alarm and will say a special prayer of strength for you tomorrow morning.  Leene

bekahbutterflies said...

i am thinking of you, and praying for you.   I miss her sweet smile....

Bekah

mikalsgrl said...

Sending you and Chad many heartfelt hugs and I will surely remember Jordyn-

deshelestraci said...

Big hug!
Traci

ksgal3133 said...

Sending you and Chad prayers and lots of hugs!
What a beautiful picture :)

Hugs,
Gretchen

janid731 said...

Just wanted to let you know that I've been praying for you and your family. God reminded me last night of the significance of this day for you and have prayed throughout the night that you will find peace and comfort in the arms of Jesus. I can't imagine the pain and grief you must feel. My heart and my arms ache for you as I can only imagaine a small part of how you ache for your daughter.

God Bless you and your family as you go throughout this day.

Janis

chat2missie said...

Tears are falling..............
Missie

bhbner2him said...

You both have my prayers!  -  Barbara

ekgillen said...

My heart breaks a little for you my friend!
(((Gentle Hugs))) and prayers and blessings to you and your family!!
Gillie

mumma4evr said...

you and chad are in my prayers...and the kids too!!
Becky

chevyz71gurl74 said...

((((((((((((((Christy and Chad)))))))))))))))

You are both in my thoughts and prayers...

Lighting a candle in memory of Jordyn

Big Hugs!
Terri

xxroxymamaxx said...

Special thoughts for you Christy on this Mother's Day!!  I hope you have a nice day!!  And I like this entry even though you lost the original one that you wrote.  Sorry about that.  Love ya, Shelly

star2426 said...

Jordyn has such a cute little face! I'm very sorry for your loss, and I hope you can enjoy Mother's Day tomorrow with your three kids, and with the memory of Jordyn.

tsalagiman1 said...

I'm just now getting to read journals after three weeks.  I want to say how so sorry I am for your loss.  I don't believe that you're a selfish mother at all.  I think you're a normal mother who has lost a child.  You wouldn't call her back from Heaven if you had it within your power, so I think that's unselfish.  My prayers are with you and Chad.

Dirk

nelishianatl said...

I'm only now getting over here.  This is so heartfelt.  You are not selfish at all.  You are just in pain and grieving the loss of your precious baby.  We will remember you and Chad at this time.  What a hardship for you all to have lived through.  

Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/PrayingandBelieving/

scotthlori said...

I'm weaping with you, my friend.  :o(  God Bless You.

LORI