Friday, June 16, 2006

loss of friendship

Do any of you have people in your life that seem to come and go as they please. I have one person. She and I met after my daughter died. She was a good friend, one of my best friends. Then she started to drift away. I continued to reach out, yet refused to push myself on her. I didn't know if she was just needing space or what. We've had moments sinse she started drifting away where she gets all buddy-buddy. Long emails, lots of pictures, a few phone calls, then boom...nothing. I email her, no response. I send pictures, nothing. 

I nearly severed our friendship when she compared her husband's job being as dangerous as Chad's (this was the 1st time he was in Iraq). I was fuming, shaking, and just flabergasted. He works in retail, so for her to compare it to being as dangerous as Chad being in a war zone is well rediculous! to say the least.

I emailed her a while back and never got a response, in my mind it was that "last chance" to salvage the friendship so to speak. Since then I've examined things about her. When I met her, she kept having all these health issue's. I hate thinking it, but I have come to the conclusion it wasn't true. She was friends with another friend of mine as well and she and I discussed this at length,and we both feel she lied to us to get attention. There's been all the "I'm going to school to be a.....nurse, photographer, graphic designer, pediatic oncologist, dula, etc, etc etc." the list goes on. The worst lie I figured out was her lie about a miscarriage. I know this because she claimed a month later she was again pregnant and yet her son was born a month early at nearly 9 lbs. she told me the weight of her other 2 children who were both born with in a week of the estimated due date.

Today, I found some other things as I was wondering around the internet and well it just makes me sad and angry. Angry that I was such a fool and allowed myself to be taken in by her lies. Sad that she couldn't just be honest with me and realize that I would have loved her no matter what and that lies only destroy friendships, and ultimately the person telling them.



republicanjen said...

Some people lie just for the sake of lying.  It's habitual and very sad.  

grahamfarmga said...

I would say that if she dosnt responed back to your e-mails- that its a good thing- write her off and keep going.
Most people that constantly lie dont even know when they are doing it it becomes a way of life

jckfrstross said...

i have:( i hope you just move on and chalk it up to experience:)


sangrialel said...

It is very hard when we have friends that we love and they turn out to not be who we thought they were.  Linda

lv2trnscrb said...

its sad to have friendships end; I think it is time to move on with this one, though, and let it fade away (but I'm gathering you are at that point too). Its sad people just can't be themselves and have to embellish the truth (or lie) to make others thing more highly of them, I guess?


barbpinion said...

Hon, we seldom know another as well as we think we do. I think many of us have experienced what you did. I know I have, and it hurt a lot. But I learned from it. I learned to remember that not everything is as it is - nor people! We can just do our best, give our best, and then, if somebody pulls away, let them go. I think what matters the most is that you learned something too, even though it hurt. Some people lie about everything - even when they don't have too. It seems that your friend was one of these. So sorry you lost out on this friendship, but perhaps it is for the best. Dishonesty prevents relationships from lasting. It is her loss, hon, not yours.

pennietoonz said...

I have heard many stories of people lying about things, esp being ill. It`s pretty sad when people want attention so badly that they do these things.