I judge people. I don't even realize it at times. Today I was told I was judging a person and honestly still don't feel in my heart I was. I had responded to something this person wrote and mentioned what she had originally written in my response and got told off.
I know, oh how I know I judge others. This is definately a time I wasn't. She's made choices I personally don't agree with, but I've just prayed and prayed for this girl. She's been dealt some lousy blows lately and honestly my heart just hurts for her. I've sat here at my computer in the past crying for her. I was really,really taken back today when I read her response saying that I've judged her. I'm sitting here and maybe it's one of those moments where God takes us and shakes us. Maybe he's saying "watch your words, Christy, what what you type, you don't know how someone else is going to read it." That's probably the worst thing about the internet. No one can HEAR your emotion, your feelings, your tone when you write something. They can only read it in the tone that they've chosen in their head. I went back and read a few other thinngs I've written, when I originally responded to her, it was a double response to her and another person....so I wrote them and apologized in case I offended them some how too.
I worry quite often that someone will misinterrupt my tone. Often times I will reread what I've written to someone a few times before sending it, because I want to make sure my words can't be "misheard". I definately failed this time. I've sat here crying for the last 30 minutes feeling like mud. I know I can only apologize. I told her that she did misunderstand what I was writing and told her I was sorry if it sounded one way to her, when I meant it another way. Sometimes I HATE the internet.
So, with that...I'm making a goal for myself, to judge less, and pray more. I would like to as you to pray for me on this. It's something I do struggle with. I know I've judged very harshly some. This is something I HAVE to change. Who am I to judge? My goodness if any of you knew the sins I commit, you'd find it sad and disgusting how I judge others in my mind. I know none of us are perfect, and that only one person ever was and he died on a cross over 2,000 yrs ago.
"Jesus, please forgive me. Give me the wisdom and strength to be more like you. To love like you, to forgive like you. I am at your will, Lord. Let me walk in your steps, Lord. Let me looktowards you constantly. Lord I am unworthy of your love, yet you deemed me worthy. You forgave me, for the sins that I have commited. You love me despite myself, my sins, the ugliness that comes from me at times. Lord, thank you. THANK YOU Jesus."