Saturday, June 17, 2006

I have a confession

I judge people. I don't even realize it at times. Today I was told I was judging a person and honestly still don't feel in my heart I was. I had responded to something this person wrote and mentioned what she had originally written in my response and got told off.

I know, oh how I know I judge others. This is definately a time I wasn't. She's made choices I personally don't agree with, but I've just prayed and prayed for this girl. She's been dealt some lousy blows lately and honestly my heart just hurts for her. I've sat here at my computer in the past crying for her. I was really,really taken back today when I read her response saying that I've judged her. I'm sitting here and maybe it's one of those moments where God takes us and shakes us. Maybe he's saying "watch your words, Christy, what what you type, you don't know how someone else is going to read it." That's probably the worst thing about the internet. No one can HEAR your emotion, your feelings, your tone when you write something. They can only read it in the tone that they've chosen in their head. I went back and read a few other thinngs I've written, when I originally responded to her, it was a double response to her and another I wrote them and apologized in case I offended them some how too.

I worry quite often that someone will misinterrupt my tone. Often times I will reread what I've written to someone a few times before sending it, because I want to make sure my words can't be "misheard". I definately failed this time. I've sat here crying for the last 30 minutes feeling like mud. I know I can only apologize. I told her that she did misunderstand what I was writing and told her I was sorry if it sounded one way to her, when I meant it another way. Sometimes I HATE the internet.

So, with that...I'm making a goal for myself, to judge less, and pray more. I would like to as you to pray for me on this. It's something I do struggle with. I know I've judged very harshly some. This is something I HAVE to change. Who am I to judge? My goodness if any of you knew the sins I commit, you'd find it sad and disgusting how I judge others in my mind. I know none of us are perfect, and that only one person ever was and he died on a cross over 2,000 yrs ago.


"Jesus, please forgive me. Give me the wisdom and strength to be more like you. To love like you, to forgive like you. I am at your will, Lord. Let me walk in your steps, Lord. Let me looktowards you constantly. Lord I am unworthy of your love, yet you deemed me worthy. You forgave me, for the sins that I have commited. You love me despite myself, my sins, the ugliness that comes from me at times. Lord, thank you. THANK YOU Jesus."



jckfrstross said...

Christy will are all human and sometimes i have left comments and it was taken the wrong way it was meant in fun and she took it wrong in 1 case she banned me from her journal so i watch what i say to some :(  i have you in my prayers


deshelestraci said...

I know what you mean.  If you read my second or third to last entry, I don't remember which, you would see that I totally do this all the time.  It is something I am working on though.  We can work on it together!
Praying with you,

republicanjen said...

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Yes, we are all human and make mistakes.  However, just to keep things in perspective, sometimes the other person will accuse you of "judging them" when they cannot come up with any legitimate excuses for their bad behavior.

randlprysock said...

So sorry you went through this with this person.  Hang in there.  All of us here in J Land know you are a lovely lady.  Hugs,

barbpinion said...

You're too hard on yourself, hon. But it is great to know you're wanting to please God, to love as He says to love and to not judge others. I think all of us do that, oftentimes without realizing it. Will pray for you about this.
BIg hugs.

pennietoonz said...

We all fall short.... isn`t it wonderful knowing we serve a forgiving God!!
Thanks for visitng my journal.

lv2trnscrb said...

I will pray for that, Christy. I judge too; I'm trying to work on this in my own life. I try to remember that the Lord loves us all and I also remember the plank in my own eye when I'm judging the splinter in someone else's.

I think it is good the Lord brought this up to you; He is helping you to see where you need to change to grow closer to you. He will be with you as you seek to judge less and pray more.


scotthlori said...

You know, sometimes people accuse others of judging them simply based on the fact that you don't share the same view as they do.  There's always been a fine line between sharing your opinion, feelings, views etc. and judging.

I do know that you are a woman with a good heart.  And a woman who is willing to step back and look at herself ...  be proud of that!


fairylaura said...

Every time I make an entry.. and you comment, I never think of it as a judgement. I think of it as a woman of GOD trying to spread her knowledge of GOD to others. Sometimes you can't help but judge others... sometimes it just happens without us knowing. Then again not all of us have the same point of view on things. It's okay though, because that's how we all learn. You're a good person Christy, don't ever think otherwise.


grahamfarmga said...

Great pictures! He has alot to be proud of! God has blessed him with a good loving family.