Do you ever have those days where you are just literally overwhelmed in love? I have that feeling right now. I am loved and it takes my breath away. I have an awesome Father who loves me, who DIED for me, and who wants me as his own. I think of how much I love my children and to think that MY love for them just doesn't even compare to the love Jesus has for me is overwhelming. He not only loves me, but he WANTS me in his home. He wants to hold me in his arms, welcome me with his hug, and show me just how wonderful eternity can be. It's truly remarkable.
Not only do I have My Jesus who loves me, but I have an amazing husband. Chad as most of you know is in Iraq. We're down to single digit weeks until he's home, you have no idea, truly no idea who exciting this is for me. I really try to hold it together as far as the excitement level goes for the simple fact that we're a military family and anything, I mean anything can happen. But the simple fact is, I'm THRILLED that my honey is going to be home soon! I met this man when I was a girl ultimately. I was 19 yrs old the first time Chad set his sight on me. I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing (in a club and we won't mention the state of nonsobriety I was in). I was dating another guy who we seemed to go on again and off again. I was crazy about that guy and I know he was crazy about me, yet we just couldn't get it together. I know why now of course, he wasn't who GOD had planned for me. Chad though was not to shot down by me, even though I told him he didn't have a chance with me (yes I really did say that). When I broke up for the last time with that boy friend, guess who was there with open and truly caring arms? You got it, Chad. He was my friend. I actually dated another Chad who lived across the barrack's hall from him for a couple months. During that whole time Chad and I were getting to know each other more and more and he had turned into one of my dearest friends. I told him my secrets, all my secrets and he told me his. I would sit in his room while my "boyfriend" was out cheating on me (unbeknownst to me). One night Chad and I were sitting in his room and he told me that he couldn't let me be treated the way the other Chad was treating me and he told me that he had found out for sure he was sleeping with another girl. I was actually ok, we hadn't dated that long and although I liked him, it wasn't too horrible. Now don't get me wrong I was ticked off and boy the next time I saw him I chewed him out up and down! Of course by the time "My" Chad told me about the cheater Chad, I'd already started to fall in love with "my" Chad. My best friend and I talked to Chad every night (I was practically living with her and we would either call him or he'd call us and we'd all 3 talk for hours, her and I on the speaker phone. One night I looked at her and said, "I think I might want to date him". She knew me so well she already knew, it just took me a little longer to figure out that a nice guy was really what I wanted! I told Chad that night that if he still wanted to and still liked me that way, I'd like to go out on a date! (He'd asked me so many times before that, he'd actually half way given up that I'd come to my senses and he'd stopped asking me out! LOL). From that night forward there was no looking back. We started dating in November and before Christmas he'd asked me to marry him. We married in March. My family loved him, my friends loved him, but most importantly I loved him and he loved me!
The two most important men in my life love me so much I literally feel like I need to take a deep breath!
When Chad's not home, I'm not whole. I don't fall under that feminist following, new age garbage that you need to be whole alone before you can have a good relationship. If you were complete and whole, why would we NEED someone so intimately? Gee I can't imagine why divorce rate is so high today. Between these thoughts being thrown around out there by so called experts (all though amazingly the majority of these people have either 1. NEVER been married or 2. Divorced and not remarried) and the fact that so many don't think that GOD should be the center of their life. So many now believe they can just pick and choose what to believe in when it comes to the bible. Our country has become such a secular nation, I can't imagine why divorce is so high in our nation now. When our focus is on Jesus, it doesn't mean our marriages will not have bumps and bruises, but when we have Jesus we know we are strong enough to get over those bumps and heal from the those bruises (figuritively speaking). I know I'm not perfect and Chad's definately not. Our marriage is not perfect, yet we're happy the majority of the time (God doesn't promise us we'll always be happy and I don't expect that), what we do have though is love. Love of Christ and love of each other.
Love is truly the center of it. I love Jesus and he loves me. I love Chadand he loves me. I'm truly overwhelmed in love.
Just think I didn't even mention my children and all the love I have and get from them!
"Jesus, I thank you for your love, your desire to have ME as your bride. You died for me, so that I could join you in Heaven one day. You humbled yourself from our LORD in Heaven to become the child of a poor virgin and her husband who was a mere carpenter. You lived in a house that most likely had nothing more than dirt for a floor, you at the most road a donkey, yet most the time walked. You chose me to be your child. You chose me. Lord, in my human flesh I am unworthy, but in your coat of love, you deemed me worthy and I will never reject you. Lord you gave me love first, and then allowed to be loved by the man you chose to be my husband. I thank you for Chad. Thank you for allowing me to feel what true love on this earth is to feel like. Thank you for blessing me with a man who's not afraid of hard work, laughter, light-heartedness, tears, being sentimental, not afraid to play with his children and make sure they feel loved. Lord you are worthy of my praise and I thank you. I love you. I am honored that you want me. Thank you Lord for covering me in your love."