Thursday, August 19, 2004

Chad..where are you?

I haven't talked to Chad in nearly 4 weeks. This coming Sunday will be 4 weeks straight from not talking to him.

We've talked online a couple weeks ago and the last time was for a couple hours. I missed him I think it was last week (I'd have to look it up) on I.M. which makes me sad, but.....

I'm feeling mad at him for not calling. I'm upset that I even feel the slightest big angry with him over this, because I know I've been spoiled..but I do. I want to hear his voice and hear that he's ok. We've lost another soldier from post t his week and so I know the phones were down, but ugh.

I know that Chad's doing the best he can. I struggle though. I struggle with worrying about him and trying to keep things going here. My house is a mess. I just don't want to do anything. I have no motivation. You'd think having 2 little boys to chase around, one being a crawler/cruiser/almost walker I'd have things more tip-top..but it's just the opposite.

I hate feeling so overwhelmed and sad. Jacob started preschool and I was so mad at Chad, because we haven't talked I know he has no idea that Jacob's started school. Jacob wanted to talk to him so badly and it breaks my heart that I can't fix that for him. I feel like I'm failing Jacob, even though I have NO control over it.

Oh I just want him to CALL! right now I'd settle for a 5 minute call saying, "I'm ok, I miss you, I love you, bye. "

I just need to know he's ok.


Ok, I'm done complaining....

1 comment:

milmomrrw said...

I can relate to the needing to hear his voice.   I pray that he calls you soon, and youcan have that reassurance you so desperately need.   I'll talk toyou soon.