St.Baldrick's Day!

Well I've been a moderator on the  St.Baldricks website for a few weeks (St.Baldrick's.org) and today I decided I'm going to be a coordinator for an actual event! So, if you know of anyone in the Northeast to Central Kansas area, please tell them about this event. For those who don't know, the money raised in this event goes to Childhood Cancer Research, in hopes to find a CURE for Childhood Cancer. We need shavee's, volunteer's, and of course donor's! If you want to donate/sponsor someone let me know. Chad's going to be shaving his head! I have to get him up on our website on the St.Baldrick's site! Once I have it up there, I'll put the info on here and also in the link area on this page! I know, I know shameless plug! It's something I really believe in though! Well have a goodnight, I'm going out to AppleBee's with some wives from Chad's company!

 

 

It's My Birthday!

 

I feel special, oh yes I do! Today is of course my birthday. I woke up to roses that Chad bought from Jordyn, carnations that the boys picked out, and exactly the gift I had told him I wanted, a Craft/scrapbooking table and chair to go with it, and 3 beautiful cards to go along with them!

Then I get on here a few minutes ago and I have 6 ecards! Three, yes that's right 3 lol  from my dear friend Kelly! A card from Robin for those who like to read journals there are 2 to check out if you haven't already! (Ok did you both a shameless plug! LOL)

I'm really, really hoping that Chad makes dinner tonight. I do not want to go out to eat or have him go pick anything up. I want him to make me my favorite home made meal. Granted he's never made it before, but it's one of those almost fool proof recipes, if you just follow the recipe that I have written down! It's not one of his favorites, but it IS MY BIRTHDAY right? He told me last night he wants me to take Jacob to Awana and take Jackson with me, so obviously no break for me today, but if it means I come home to a wonderful yummy meal I'll be ok with that! LOL

I am also curious what kind of "treat" he's going to get for me. He said no cake which is ok. I LOVE German Chocolate with Coconut Pecan Icing, but otherwise I could give or take other cakes, like them but don't HAVE to have them! :)

 

Hope you have as good of a day as I'm having! Oh I got my new driver's license today too! It wasn't as much as my mom had said it was, just $22.00 vs 30.00! Still not great, but not as bad! Kansas now sends all the information to DC and then we get our license in the mail 6-8 weeks later. So for now I have a reciept with my picture on it and all the information! I hope I don't tear it! I have it tucked away hopefully safely, but yikes! Nothing like delayed technology, I guess! I had to take the boys with me, luckily no one else was in there so Jacob was good and sat in the chair and sang songs from Star Spangled Banner to many Christmas songs! LOL The 3 ladies who worked there clapped for him and ooh'd and aah'd over him and his singing abilities. Yes, I will happily brag on my children, Jacob is quite the singer and has a mind that is as sharp as a tack! Give him a song, he'll memorize it!

Jackson walked around shaking his booty to Jacob's songs! LOL **I'm not thrilled about the picture, because I'm so huge, but it's done. Of course once I lose all this weight I'll have to debate to have the picture retaken or just suck it up and see it's my last "official" fat picture!

Guess I should go, Jackson's asleep, I have laundry to do (ha as if I'd do any laundry on my birthday!)..I am sure I can figure out something to do though!

 

 

 

Birthday gift for myself!

Well I've been very overweight since Jordyn going through chemo and then dying, and 2 pregnancy's. I'm at my highest weight w/o being pregnant and I'm getting close to that weight peak everyday it seems...so action MUST be taken.

I HATE being fat. I am fat too. I'm 100 lbs over my ideal weight for my heighth, so I'm joining Weight Watchers! I have a friend from church who's lost 70 lbs with them and she said she'll be there to help me when I need her. Amazingly she looks so very tiny and not a bit of working out! I'm planning on doing the gym along with Weight Watchers (which I know they do recommend as well) so I'm VERY hopefuly that this weight will start coming off and maybe by the end of the summer I'll not be quit so embarrassed in a bathing suit. I've never stopped wearing a swimsuit, because I just like playing in the water with my kids far too much, but I wouldn't mind not feeling so embarrassed to be honest.

I'm ready to not be winded when chasing Jacob around the yard and I'm ready to be able to play that physical play that little boys love to do for longer than what I can right now, which just is not that long and DEFINATELY not long enough for Jacob's liking.

I am a Christian and proud to shout it from the rooftops and know that without Jesus's love and help I will not be able to do this. I'm not glorifying him in this body. I feel miserable so much of the time, there's a deep sadness that engulfs me at times, and although I'm not stupid enough to not realize a good deal of it's from Jordyn, there's also a sadness that I've allowed myself to become what I NEVER wanted to become...FAT. I know the girl who used to feel good about myself (ok I was conceited) is in there. I don't want to be quite so "big headed" over my body, just want to feel good when I look in the mirror and and feel GOOD in general.

So if you're reading this pray for me! I need your prayers. I've been in such horrible habits for so long, eating the wrong stuff, eating way too much of it, and finding an addiction to Pepsi/RC, that without the help of WW and your prayers, and having Jesus help me, I am not going to be able to do this.

Oh, on a side note, Chad's really excited for me. He's going to do this with me, he's not going to go the meetings, but he's going to learn the points system and not going to set me up for failure. He really needs to lose weight too. He can't work out like he wants to because his knee is really messed up and right now it's standing in his way of a much deserved and needed promotion..so pray for Chad too!

 

Ok, time for me to go to bed!

 

God Bless and Thanks! :)

Birthday's and let downs

Picture is at Jacob's party on Saturday. He has a great time. Huge turnout, 12 kids 5 and under! LOL yes we are a little crazy! We had it at the bowling alley. Jacob's wanted to bowl for a very long time and he said "It was the best party ever!" It was a lot of fun, when we got home we put Jackson down for a nap and were sorting through gifts, and putting things together when exhaustion hit me! I took a 2 hr nap.

Yesterday was Jacob's birthday. I took cupcakes up to his class and they all sang to him and he has a fun time being center of attention! We came home and he got to open up a couple of gifts and I put aside a few things for Chad to give him when he got home, since he was out at the range all day and didn't get home til really late.

I was really disappointed though, not a single person called Jacob yesterday other than Chad to wish him a Happy Birthday. Yes my parents and brother were at the party, but they never called to wish him a Happy birthday ON his birthday. My best friend didn't call,no one.

It sucks, he's 4 yrs old and no one could think "oh maybe I should call him". I know he doesn't quite understand, but I do and it shows me that my family sucks.

 

Ok, I'm done venting......

 

I have a beautiful 4 yr old son, that I'm so lucky to have and GOD couldn't have blessed me more with him.

God Bless and thanks for my ranting! :)

Somebody Said

(Jordyn and I, this was after her dx we were still in Germany. I believe the pic was taken April '99)

 

Somebody Said...

 

Somebody said that a child is carried in its mother's womb for nine months.
Somebody does not know that a child is carried in its mother's Heart forever.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
Somebody said being a mother is boring.
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices.
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.
Somebody said it is ok to take your anger out on your mother she will understand.
Somebody needs to understand that mother will not live forever and should not have to understand.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand
tied behind her back.
Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.
Somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.
Somebody isn't a mother.
Somebody said you don't need to visit your mother more than once a year,
she knows you still love her and understand why.
Somebody never lookedinto the eyes of that mother to her soul.

1 year ago

One year ago we got word, that 3 soldiers from Chad's company had died. Chad had just left the day before for Iraq, he called that day and I had to break it to him over the phone. It killed me to say those words to him.

The reality of the horrors of war hit me harder than I expected and the knot in my stomach stayed with me each and everyday from there on out.

One year ago, Captain Matthew August, 1st Sgt. James Hoffman, and Sgt. Moothart left this world. Co. August left a wife, 1st Sgt. Hoffman left his wife and granddaughter that they were/are raising, and other children, and Moothart was single, but left his parents and siblings.

On the 29th, the 4th soldier who was in this same ambush died. Our friend SSG Sean Landrus. He left his wife, Chris, their 3 children Kristen, Kenneth, and baby girl, Kennedy. Kennedy was only 4 wks old the day Sean left Sept 2003.

I'll write more about Sean on Saturday.

I'll never forget these brave men who died for our country, our freedoms, and another countries freedom:Iraq. They ARE hero's, not because they died, but because they were men just doing the job they loved. Too few people today volunteer for military service, only 1% of all Americans are serving Active Duty military. Each and everyone of them deserve a thank you. Each family who's had to say goodbye to their loved ones deserves a thank you, hug, and our hearts...because THEY gave ALL.

 

 

All gave some, some gave All.

 

Ok this just made me laugh today for some reason. If you like this take a look at the website...http://atom.smasher.org/error/

I found it on Kelly's  site!

Been a pretty good day so far.

I sent out invitations for Jacob's birthday party that's on Saturday, to his class on Monday (yes I know it was late! LOL that's me!)...anyways, I figured 1 or 2 kids from his class would be coming..oh man I was wrong! So far 3 have RSVP'd! The one we KNEW would come, she has 3 other boys. Then yesterday as I was inviting our neighbor, she said prob not because her mom was coming..she just called they're coming too! Great! Chad's going to freak out I'm sure! LOL We're prob going to have to pay more, but that's ok. This is the only birthday or birthday party Chad's going to be around to celebrate for the next couple yrs. He had left 5 days before Jacob's birthday last yr and since his bday actually landed on a Saturday last yr we had his party ON the day. This year it's Monday so it's going to be 2 days early!

Next year, Chad will be in Korea, so he won't be able to be here. He'll miss 2 of Jackson's birthday's probably the way it looks. It sucks because he will have missed his 1st 3 birthdays. He didn't get home til September and Jack's birthday is in August. He'll have just left before Jack's 2nd birthday and he'll have a few more months left in Korea on his 3rd birthday.

Ok, I'm not going to think about the unpleasant things anymore,and just focus on the fact that it's looking like Jacob's going to have a GREAT birthday party and lots of fun!! We're having it at the bowling alley! I'll post pictures from it Saturday evening hopefully!