Saturday, July 9, 2005

Update

Well I've been kind of MIA for a while. We had the movers come 2 weeks ago, and last week we cleaned and cleared housing. We cleaned the house ourselves and amazingly passed on the first inspection. We've never met anyone here that's done that so we're really thankful!!!

Chad left for Germany on Thursday, on Monday he'll head down to our next duty station and get inprocessed and get our names on the housing list. He's being told at Frankfurt that it's only a week or 2 waiting list for housing, so hopefully the boys and my passports will arrive in these next couple of weeks, so that we can get over to Germany with Chad.

 

Right now the boys and I are staying with a friend from church. She's never been married, no children obviously, just has her cat. She's the same age as I am, but we've very different and I'm seeing those differences every day we're here. She definately is not used to little children. She's a high school teacher, and a good one and close to her students, but it's a different situation when you have 3/4 of a family living with you.

My boys lives have literally just been turned upside down and inside out and I don't think she realizes that this is VERY difficult for them. I'm working on getting them back to their routine, and trying to make life as "normal" as can be when they're pretty well living out of suitcases, have a handful of their toys, a few of their books and movies, and we have a few of their outside toys here.

She has definately went above and beyond the call of friendship, and I feel horrible for feeling the way I do. This is my journal though and I'm going to share and vent a little. If you think I'm horrible, selfish, etc please just keep your opinions to yourself, because I really just can't handle reading negative words right now. At the same time I am not and don't expect pats on the back.

Ok so....the other night we all went on a walk. We walked up to the park and by the swimming pool. On the way back Jacob had a melt down. He was throwing a HUGE temper tantrum. Eventually he got himself so worked up and just plain angry that he actually kickeda phone poll (OUCH I know!) but I figured if this is the worst that he's going to do, he can do it. He's not hurting anyone, put possibly himself/his foot, and he's getting his frustration out. I knew when we got back to the house and he calmed down he'd talk things out with me. She made a comment that he could kick the poll (as if it was her decision if he could or not..ugh) but that if he kicked or hit something in her house she'd be the one to spank him. Yeah...to say the least I was truly speechless. NO WAY is someone other than myself or Chad going to disipline our children in that manner. NO ONE. I do spank with the hand at times, we have discovered we do more swats (1 hand swat is all it normally takes when they're VERY VERY VERY naughty), otherwise time outs work beautifully.

I talked to Chad on Friday and told him and he said she better get that idea out of her head, that he was putting his foot down and that she was NOT allowed to touch our children.

Ok, now please don't think she's bad or anything, because she's anything but. She just obviously has not had much contact with children this age and I honestly think she's just so comfortable with our family that she feels we're all family. What she doesn't understand is that my own flesh and blood brother is not allowed to spank my children, much less someone who's only a good friend.

Ok. So that vent is out and I'm thinking I've probably made people think we're staying with someone who's not kind. She is. Like I said though, we're different. As hard as it is for some to believe there are just times when I'm speechless and that was definately one of them.

I have just really been feeling like she feels really put out with us staying here and well it makes me feel like dirt. She invited the boys and I to stay with her, and I know I'm anything but perfect and without a doubt I let the boys do things she doesn't approve of, but I pick my battles. I can't make them live on eggshells, they're little boys you know.

You just definately see a new side of people when you live with them. She's definately a strong personality and strongly opinionated, which is part of the reason I like her as much as I do, but it makes it hard to live with, even if it's just for a few weeks.

On a happy note though, in I believe 2 or maybe it's 3 weeks she'll be gone for a week. She has a conference out of state to attend. She's teaching school I believe next week, then has a week off then she leaves for a week. Then when she returns I believe she'll be preparing to start school again, so hopefully we can all just live in harmony and get used to each other over the next 3 or 4 weeks. We have 1 week down now, so hopefully by the first week of August we'll be getting on a plane flying for Germany!!

I'm sorry that this post has been pretty well a full vent. I promise next time I'll try not to vent at least not so much!

Hey Kelly, I think I should come up and stay with you at the beach house!! You have kids! LOL

 

2 comments:

pixiedustnme said...

Too funny - I was just going to say, we leave for the cottage on the 16th, can you be here by then?!!

fairylaura said...

I SOOOOOO agree with you there. NO ONE will ever discipline Lo like that.. other than me and Adrian.

I hope he gets housing soon! I have a couple of friends in Germany. She does FCC over there. She said she absolutely loves it.

Laura