Thinking Out Loud

                    

 

Tomorrow, well for me it's officially today we have our furniture being delivered. I have no clue what we're going to do, because we still have our couch and reclyner up here as well as both the cario cabinets. The one cabinet isn't very  big so it doesn't cause a lot of issue, the other one is huge (aprox 7 feet tall). The big one my friend Bobbie bought it and Chad was supposed to find a couple guys to help him carry it to Bobbie's today, but of course he didn't. I'd say he'd do it at lunch tomorrow, but of course he has physical therapy at noon so I'm not sure what the heck he's going to do. My guess is he's going to be bringing a couple guys home with him after work (if he knows what's good for him). It took I believe 4 or 5 men to carry it up. I'm giving Chad and his fellow soldiers more credit that they only 3 of them can carry it downstairs, across the park, up the street (just a little) and to Bobbie's storage room. Chad can easily carry the other cario cabinet down to the basement. I'm going to call the thrift shop tomorrow to see if Thursday Chad can bring it in, although I'm not sure how or who's vehicle it's about 6 feet tall so it won't fit in our BMW and my van is not in commission at the moment (or it could fit in there). I may see if Bobbie will let him use her van to take it down there. We are just going to take our couch and chair down to the storage room and find a buyer for them. We have to sell our table too still. We have friends who may buy the table so we need to talk to them and see if they want it or not. If they do hopefully they'll take it this weekend. I'd LOVE to get the furniture sold ASAP, have some extra money to just put aside for when this little girl's born in a couple of weeks.

 

 

               

 

I am calling tomorrow to schedule our apt to go to the hospital and register and schedule my c-section. I tried calling our clinic today to get the phone no. for the hospital I want to deliver at and of course I was on hold the first time for 20 minutes and the 2nd time for 35 minutes...no answer either time. I told Chad I need him to go over to the clinic in the morning and just get me the phone number to schedule this. I wrote up an ICE complaint online about me being on hold for so long with no answer ever. It's absolutely rediculous and unacceptable. I NEVER spoke to an actual human either time. Our medical clinic is really bad. We have the worst customer service I've ever encountered in our 10 yrs of marriage (Chad's been in the Army for 14 yrs). We're a very small community and simply put there's no excuse for the way things are handled here. You can NEVER get an apt., the soldiers who work the front desk are so insanely rude it takes all my strength somedays not to just reach over it and slap them in the mouths, the drs all but one of them are pretty well worthless. We have ONE great dr in our clinic. She's a civilian of course and they're giving her more and more admin work, which means less patient time. She's the one dr everyone loves, I've yet to hear a single negative thing about her from anyone. I have seen her a few times and think she's fabulous! She has 1 yr left on her contract and she can't wait to leave. That in and of itself speaks volumes. How rediculous is it that the patients love this dr, the dr WANTS to see patients (she was told she would not have all this admin work when she came here), and because of the lies and the junk she has to put up with she can't wait to leave. What we have left are drs who are incompitent, uncaring, rude, snide, and think they know everything and if you go in there with a half of brain and actually know something they treat you like you're a moron or try to make you look like one because ultimately they're the ones wrong. We rarely go to the dr, but when we do I shouldn't have to wait WEEKS to get an apt so that by the time I can get in, the need is gone. Ok done with that rant!

 

 

            

 

So like I said our furniture is being delivered tomorrow. Wednesday I have PWOC. We didn't have it last week since it was the 4th of July. We just have a few more weeks and our summer session will be over with. In 2 to 3 weeks this baby will be here and that just is amazing to me that she's so close to being born! This pregnancy has flown by!! One day this week we'll be going to register for my c-section. We're still up in the air about going to Switzerland. I'm at the point where I'm not sure I can even make a 4 hr drive, and Chad has some things he really needs to do this weekend or wants to do, so as much as I am dying to go to Switzerland it may have to wait until after the baby is born and her passport is here. :( I'm sure I'll be far more up to walking around though with her out of my body than in and I guess it'll give me more time to plan a trip and we could go for more than just a couple of days and we don't have to go just to Zurich, we could go farther down into Switzerland which is what I prefer to do. I have thought about maybe taking a day trip to Czech Republic with Bobbie and the kids one day during the week. They do flea markets just over the border. It's only a 2 hr drive which would be much better as far as my comfort level, we can get some good bargains and possibly be home by the time Chad gets home or soon after! :) I will have to talk to Bobbie about that this week and see if she wants to do that. We have passports for all of us and we can take the kids. They probably won't love it, but who knows! LOL Since it's great bargains we can probably find a couple cool things for them to get, which would make the trip worth it for them! I'll let you know what we decide! I guess I obviously just really want to get a trip in to somewhere else before the baby is here!

 

 

                             

 

I talked to Emily today and tonight. I love that girl so much, none of you know just how much. Just to hear her voice. Be in prayer. The pain, sadness, the ultimate grief it doesn't end with the funeral. Reality is it doesn't really start until after the funeral. Today was the first day that Matt returned to work, so she had the girls all day. I never went through that...grieving and having to handle kids. I KNOW Emily loves her 2 girls who are alive and loves them with all her heart. I just can't imagine having to grieve and handle 2 active little girls. So double up the prayers please. Ask for God's grace as she goes about her days of grieving and being Mommy actively as she does her best to get through the day. I simply don't know what that's like. I know Kelly does as she had to do it with Princess, and I think of how much of a blessing Emily's girls are and what a blessing Kelly's is and yet I think of how blessed I was to be able to stay in bed all day long during this time, not have to think of caring for anyone else. Taking care of myself alone was exhausting all on it's own.  We all have to grieve in our own way. Emily's doing what she needs to do and I love her and this may sound odd, but I'm proud of her because she's doing what she needs to do. This isn't a time to people please. It's not a time to worry about everyone else's feelings, etc. Grieving is a selfish time and that's NOT bad..imo. It's simply necessary and God recognizes that. It'd really be nice if the rest of the world did. Oh they say they do, but well ime they don't. They aren't comfortable with grief, because it's not pretty. It's a reality that's hard to look at, it's a reality that simple words can't fix. It's a reality that a meal isn't going to make all better. IT's grief. Ugly, Bad, Sad, Angry, all it's forms and it's necessary to go through and if you push it aside don't worry it'll come out one way or another, eventually. We can't go through the loss of someone who created part of us (yes our children create us just as much as we create them) and expect to jump up and be giddy and happy. So Emily, if you're reading this...I love you girl. Thanks for letting me listen today, for sharing your heart, for sharing facts that I didn't know. You have this big piece of my heart.