Held

Held

Natalie Grant

Two Months is too little

They Let Him Go

They Had No sudden healing

To think that providence

Would Take a child from his mother

While She Prayers, Is Appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued

What has changed and

Why should we be saved from nightmares

We're asking why this happens to us

Who have died to live, it's unfair

Chorus:

This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And You Survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everthing fell

We'd be held

 

This hand is bitterness

We want to taste it and

Let the hatred numb our sorrows

The wise hand opens slowly

To lilies of the Valley and tomorrow

 

This is what it means to be held

How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

And You survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everything fell

We'd be held

 

If Hope is born of suffering

If this is only the beginning

Can we notwait, for one hour

Watching for our savior

 

This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was that when everything fell

We'd be Held

(Repeat chorus)

 

This song has touched me more than I can describe. I'm going to be singing it at our church on Jordyn's 5th anniversary, which just happens to so cruely land on Mother's Day this year. I knew this day would happen, I just wished it wouldn't. I wish I never knew this heartache and pain.

 

I know in my heart that one day I will be with Jordyn again. I am always held by Jesus. I know that, yet sometimes I still feel like I am falling and wonder when he's going to catch me. I am discovering though, he does it in those little ways...like last night as Jacob layed in his bed wimpering because he "missed his sister". Oh how my heart aches for him. He never "met" Jordyn...I found out I was pg with him after she died...yet he knows her. He loves her, and he misses her. He misses the things he'll never get to experience by having that older sister. I ache for him. I ache for both of my boys, because they'll always be missing out on the life of having a big sister.

Yet, he catches me. He shows me that just because he never got to feel her kisses or hugs, or ever got to smell her sweet smell...he loves her. That's what matters. He shows me that our words and love for her, is enough...for him to love her too.

I know Jesus will never leave me or foresake me. I just need reminded of that every once in  while. He gives me my family and friends to show me that HE always holds me up, gets me through every day, and loves me no matter what.

I feel sad for those who don't know Jesus. Who don't know what it's like to have that unconditional love.For those who don't know if they're going to Heaven. That makes me ache.

I'm growing. I see that. I definately find myself going back to stupid habits...but up until just recently I didn't feel sadness for those who didn't know or accept the truth, I felt anger and superiority. I'm no better than anyone else. I just thankfully know the truth.

I wish for all those who are hurting in one way or another they'd know the comfort of being "held."