Goodbye Pounce

Well today has been a lazy day and turned into a sad one. The kids slept until 9 am! Oh that was soooo nice. Germany had their time change, springing forward Sunday. It's been ugly as I think it is for everyone. I'd love for it to continue (the sleeping in that is) but I have a meeting in the morning and PWOC on Wednesday and then on Thursday we're flying to Ireland! We'll be there from the 3rd to the 10th. We got a minivan reserved! So excited I tell you!

So onto the sad.....I had our cat put down. Not the one we got the kids for Christmas, but the one we got back in 2005. He's suffered with UTI's since we got him, he's been having some bleeding issue's recently and it started back today and he got another UTI today too, so I called the vet office and they said they could take him today. I dropped the boys off with my friend and Emma and I took Pounce to the vet. They were very kind and loving and so gentle with him and me included. He was 10 yrs old and honestly I think he spent a great many of his years in pain from constant UTI's, I hope he felt loved while he was with us and knew we decided to do this with love and compassion for him.

The boys took it hard. I just let them cry and get it out and am prepared that there will possibly be more tears. The evening's been pretty quiet. Whiskers has no one to go torchure (Pounce) so she's hung out in the living room and just slept.

Tomorrow I have a meeting in the morning, will come home throw some clothes into the washer, then head downtown to get a couple pairs of jeans for Jacob so he has more than 2 pair (his others all have holes in the knees).

Thank you for all the loving comments for Jordyn's birthday, they mean so much to me.

God Bless

Christy

Jordyn's 10th birthday

                     

This was her last "birthday" picture (professional) taken. Her 2 yr old picture. It's hard to imagine a little girl that's locked in my mind and heart as forever 2, that today she'd be 10 yrs old. To think that 10 yrs ago I became a mother for the first time, she cried her first cries, took her first breath of air. I could never have imagined the beauty and wonder this child would and continues to bring to my life. 10 yrs is relatively a short time span when you look at the "average" life span...but when she only lived for 2 of those 10 years they seem to have gone on forever in ways. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday that I had her, then other times it seems like it was so long ago.

 

 

My heart is filled with joy. Today I had a message and I got to share Jordyn with the lady doing it for me. I shared my beautiful girl and her story and that although I miss her I know she's safe in the arms of Jesus, that her work on this earth was fulfilled in just 2 years 1 month and 8 days. How precious and amazing it is that she could do everything God had planned for her so quickly! What a miracle she was and always will be to us! To know that she was perfected in such a short time and to know that God's probably got a lot of imperfections to still work out of me, wow how humbling! He allowed ME, Christy, to bring such a precious, beautiful, amazing child into this world. He allowed HER to make ME a mother! He allowed her to show me how deep love is, and that in the end only love matters. In the end she left my arms for his. I NEVER have to worry about her. I know she's safe. I have such security and peace in that FACT! Most momma's don't have that for a lifetime. I don't and won't have it with my other blessings, but I have it with/for Jordyn.

 

 

God gave me this precious child 10 yrs ago today. I labored with her, in so many ways, but let me tell you my friends it was worth it. It was all worth it! To have had her for just those 2 years was more than I deserved and God allowed me to, I am by and far the luckiest mother in this world. I brought her into this world and I was allowed to hold her as she left it. Not a lot of Momma's have that. I held her tighter than I might have because of her chemo. I gave her to GOD in more ways than one, and I KNEW he had her and I was right! Tonight as March 30 ends and a new day begins I rejoice in the fact that for a moment in time God allowed me to mother this beautiful child. I'm forever grateful. I'm always humbled, and I feel so loved.

If you have a moment I ask that you go outside, look up towards Heaven and wish my baby girl a Happy 10th birthday.

Jordyn Ashleigh, I love you baby and I do miss you. Happy Birthday sweet girl.

 

Tags: Jordyn's birthday

Busy Day

I woke up this morning and got Jacob started on his school work, he was almost done before breakfast!! That was nice to see him just jump on it today. I started on laundry soon after breakfast and got all, but towels done. Actually the very last load is in the washer and I need to throw it into the dryer before I head to bed and get it out in the morning, it's just some throw blankets.

We're heading out of town in the morning and will be back on Sunday. We're going to Garmish. We have a chapel retreat and I'm looking forward to it! It'll be nice to have the little break. I told Chad that when we come home, to just take the suitcase directly to the laundry room and I can just get everything washed that we wore over the weekend, because on Thursday we're heading to Ireland!!!!! I have no plans to go out anywhere, I'm going to just live in my sweats Monday-Wed! I'm going to clean the apartment those 3 days so that when we come home it'll be in good shape!

Tonight as I was putting clothes away, I fixed the boys closet. It was a disaster, now it's nice and orderly. I still have a basket of clothes to put away from last week (I HATE putting away laundry), so I'll do that probably on Monday.

 

Sunday is Jordyn's birthday. She'd have turned 10 yrs old. It seems so unreal to me that the little girl who MADE me a mother could be 10 already. In ways it does seem like that long ago, but in other ways it seems like just yesterday that I was holding her in my arms for the first time in awe of the beauty I'd just brought into the world. I truly do not know how anyone can bring a child into this world and deny God. It's nothing short of a miracle that we can create life, and such beautiful life at that! God is good and gracious that's for sure!!! I miss Jordyn and would love to have her here, but I know she's safe in the arms of Jesus and for that I'm so thankful. I got to have her in my arms for 2 yrs 1 month and 8 days and that's the absolute most precious gift next to my salvation that God gave me, following with Chad and our other children.

Update on my friend Heather. She had surgery today on her lungs, to get the infection out. It went well. They now need the antibiotics to do their job (that's all we've been told). So please keep her in your prayers and feel free to sign the guestbook with your prayers. I print off the guestbook entries and they're taken to Scott. I'm going to drop off the pages from this week to Heather's parents in the morning before we head out, so they have the latest ones.

 

Well...I am off. I have to run down to the laundry room quickly and then I need to get to bed. It's already 2:20 am. Oh and I'll be losing an hour of sleep this weekend, because we Spring ahead here in Germany. Yes, Europe also does Daylight savings time, a great many countries throughout the world does, it's not just a US thing.

God Bless and Good Night

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Anniversary

First thank you to Lori who sent me an anniversary card today! Today Chad and I marked 11 years of marriage. I'd like to say we got to celebrate, but we didn't. Now when I say I understand that so often the Army has to come first, I really say that with understanding, but let me say this right here, right now...the Army has ticked my butt off tonight. Chad's actually HERE for our anniversary and we had a stupid deployment meeting that went on for nearly 2 hrs, then after the meeting they (just those in leadership positions in his platoon) had to go back and work on counceling statements that were not due to be turned in until the close of business tomorrow (aka 4:30 pm). He got home at 11 pm tonight. I have held my tongue a lot, well his platoon sgt is getting a GOOD tongue lashing. It's just absolutely rediculous and most of all it's because this particular "leader" had them sitting around doing NOTHING all morning long, they had 2 hrs of their New Sgt. Major talking to them, this afternoon, and then our meeting this evening. There was no reason they couldn't have done these this morning or waited until tomorrow. Honestly I'm just furious. I've been fuming. It turned into a horrible night of me losing the car key, the kids and I walking home in the SNOW, thankfully I had my sling for Emma so I was able to wear her that way and kept her warm as best I could. Jack shivered the whole way home. It's about 1/2 mile from the bowling alley where I lost the key to our home. Of course I called Chad and the man found the key in less than 5 minutes, it was on the floor between the door and the seat, which I'd looked but must have just missed it. I looked for the key for a good 20-30 minutes, all the while Emma's SCREAMING and Jackson was crying and Jacob was "helping me" (HA) look for the key (if looking straight ahead means looking on the ground then I guess you can say he helped), then our food which was wrapped up and placed in a box, fell off the car. It was just not a good way to end.

Chad hasn't gotten me anything yet, he said this weekend I'll get my gift, so we'll see what I get. I got him a parallel bible, he's wanted one for a long time. I had his initials on the cover. It's a King James, NKJ, NIV, and NLT. He loved it! I told him to start marking it up and using it!! :)

Pleasego to Heather's site and be in prayer for her. She's having surgery in the morning on her lungs, hopefully this will be what needs to be done and she can be taken out of sedation and start her way to healing and get home.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/pray4heatherjackson

 

Well I'm off to go cuddle up in bed with my hubby.

Nine Years ago yesterday

 

Nine years. Yesterday marked 9 yrs ago that Jordyn was dx with leukemia. I don't know if it makes sense to others, but being over here in Germany feels like we've come full circle in many ways. I can't really explain it in words, because it's more of what's in my soul and heart.
I can say that at this point 9 yrs ago I was sitting in the German hospital literally scared out of my mind preparing for my baby girl to just die at any moment. We still had so much to learn. Tonight at 6 pm (CET) is when she started her first round of chemo. It's amazing to me in ways that I can still remember that. There are just some things burnt into your brain that you'll never forget. The reality is that yesterday was the beginning of the end for Jordyn's life as WE knew it. God knew exactly how it'd all play out, but we sure didn't.
I never dreamt that 9 yrs from yesterday I'd be the mother of 4, raising 3 of them, and in total awe of all the ways God has blessed us. I was a 22 yr old first time mother who thought she'd be raising her daughter, watching her grow up, I "thought" that at this point I'd be preparing for her to be turning 10 on Sunday. Instead I have a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 7 month old and I'm preparing for my husband to head to Iraq for the 3rd time.
Life is never what we imagined it'd be and I've met very few people who's lives have turned out the way they thought it would...for the good and for the bad.
The biggest change in the last 9 yrs has been my relationship with Christ. I didn't have much of one up until March 24, I was just really starting it. We'd started going to church regularly, but I didn't even own a bible. When I was asked what I wanted the only thing I wanted was the bible. I wanted to read his word, I wanted to be comforted by my father, even if I didn't know exactly how to express that, at the time. I see it now though. God has changed me so much and how grateful am I!
We have choices in this world, even during times when we feel like we don't. We can choose to be bitter or better. We can choose to seek him or turn our backs on him. We can choose to feel vs turning them off.
The thing is though, that even when we choose the one that is obviously not the way we should, we can change our minds. I went through being bitter, I choose to be angry with God for a while, and I even turned off my feelings to certain things for a while...yet in the end God had my heart and I could not deny that.

As I write this I hold Emma in my arms, where I once I held Jordyn, writing entries right on here. God's holding Jordyn and I know she's in the best arms she could possibly be in and I'm so thankful for that.

 

( All the pictures were taken with in the first two weeks of Jordyn being dx)

Easter and sick baby girl

We had a great Easter. Chad and I taught children's church for ages 1st-2nd grade. They had a lot of fun, and we were able to share about Christ's resurrection to about 4 or 5 kids who didn't understand what Easter truly was. I think we had a total of 23 kids in our class.

We came home and I worked on dinner a little, then we started dying eggs, and we took some famiy pictures. We didn't get any of all of us together, but got lots still of each of us with the kids. Emma wasn't feeling good still, so she wasn't thrilled when Daddy took her from me for a picture of him with the 3 of them. Not a happy girl in that picture! Emma ended up getting sick again in the evening.

Today/Monday she seemed like she was finally feeling better. She was smiling and laughing and wanting to be put down on the floor for a good portion of the day. Of course Daddy was home since they had a 4 day weekend, and he threw her off of nap schedule. By tonight though she was not feeling good again and only wanting me. She was sitting in my lap and the next thing I know, I'm getting thrown up on again, for I think seriously in the last 3 days this is about the 15th time, at MINIMUM! I got her cleaned up, cleaned myself up, and had Chad start Emma and I a bath. We climbed in and she perked up a bit, splashing around, smiling, and even a few giggles. Chad took her and I got out, he got her dressed and then she just wanted to snuggle with me. I just feel terrible for her. She's nursing and not throwing up every time so I'm not worried about her being dehydrated since I know she's keeping it down at times.

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope Emma's completely healthy again. I think Chad's getting a touch of Emma's flu bug too. We're going to Garmisch this weekend, so we all need to be HEALTHY. I want us to enjoy the pool and hot tub, since this will most likely be the last time we're there before Chad heads off to the big sand box.

I'm sharing pictures of Easter and you can see the couple pictures Chad took of Sweet Emma not feeling good, too.

He Has Risen!

 

I think I used this last year, but am too lazy to go look. I got reminded of it via Emily. The video is hard to watch, but I think our sinning is so much harder on our Lord, our Savior. Look at what he did for us. He went to Hell,Came back for 40 days, and Ascended into Heaven. I can tell you this, I do NOT deserve all that he went through. I'm a sinner, my heart can be ugly, dark, and just awful at times. Yet, he loves ME so much that he went through being beat, being nailed up onto a cross, and died for ME and for YOU my precious friends. If you do not have a personal relationship with Christ, I pray you will seek it. There is only ONE WAY into Heaven. It does NOT matter how many good works you do, they WILL NOT get you to the feet of Jesus. You MUST believe that Christ is our Lord.

 

 

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the commercialization of holiday's, Easter included. We do the Easter bunny (I'll be getting baskets ready here shortly actually), but our focus is and must  be on Christ, on his death, and most importantly on his RESURRECTION.

 

 

 

Tomorrow I will be teaching children's church. We are not doing the planned lesson, because I feel it's important to talk and teach about what this day is. I want our focus to be on Jesus and his promise he made and kept to us. We'll come home and dye eggs, have a little indoor hunt, and I'll make our dinner. I am going to print off some coloring pages for the boys and found some online games and activities that actually are about Jesus and the Resurrection, so the boys can do those while we're waiting to eat.

I pray you each feel Jesus and his blessings.

 

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