Breaking Free

 

 

Today as every Wed. was PWOC, (Protestant Women of the Chapel...aka Women's Bible Study). For those outside of the military PWOC is Army wide, well it started off just Army spouses and has now spread through the rest of the branches of the military.

So anyways we're in our 5th week for the Spring session and the class I'm taking is Beth Moore's Breaking Free. Anyone who's ever done a Beth Moore study knows it'll kick your butt all over the place and this one has done it so well! Each weeks study is 5 days worth of work. Day 5 was on Hearts Broken By Loss. I swear I think she wrote this just for me, ok well God definately spoke to her and he knew one day I'd take this study. We each spoke about different days of the study and how they touched us and effected us and of course this was "my day".

I would not have made it through the death of Jordyn without Jesus. I just can not imagine how anyone gets through a single day without our Lord, much less when drastic things happen in a person's life. The worst thing to ever happen to me is my daughter being dx with AML leukemia and then of course dying from it 14 months after her diagnosis. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, ever. So much in this chapter spoke to me and simply knocked me on the floor.

Beth goes through different points in the study and the 1st point for Day 5 was this: "Christ never allows the hearts of His own to be shattered without excellent reasons and eternal purposes." That statement in and of itself is mind blowing, but then she goes on under that point and says "Our Father would never allow our hearts to break for trival reasons. We may never see the reasons like Mary and Martha did, but could we walk by faith and believe the best of Chrst? You see, the most debilitating loss for a Christian is not the loss of a loved one but the loss of faith."

Trust me when I say the death of your loved one is debilitating, but she is so correct, the devestation that would be without Christ there holding me, is something I can not imagine. Trust me I was furious with God for allowing Jordyn to die. I wanted him to cure her the way I WANTED him to. I wanted him to rid her precious little body of the cancer and allow her to grow up. Instead he showed her mercy and took  her home to Heaven. In my mind she'll always be that sweet precious 2 yr old little girl.  It's been nearly 7 yrs since Jordyn died and the thought of going through these last 7 yrs without Christ by my side is impossible. The first many months, possibly year, I struggled to turn to Christ. My husband though, oh he was my shining example of Christ.

Point 2. Christ never allows any illness to end in death for a Christian.

"Even if we believe that death is not the end, our hearts often lag far behind. All believers in Christ will rise from the dead......Neither does it have to be the end of life of the l oved one left behind-but too often, it is.

Point 3. Any kind of "death" is an invitation to resurrection life to the believer.

"Nothing is more natural than grief after a devestating loss...When our hearts have been shattered by loss, we have an opportunity to welcome a supernatural power to our lives. It doesn't have to come any other way. That power is the power to live again on tis earth when we'd really rather die. ...God becomes the only explanation for our emotional survival and revival. Perhaps the most profound miracle of all is living through something we thought would kill us. ...A life indeed absent of something or someone dear but filled with the presence of the Resurrection and Life.

No, my life will never be the same....The life of a Christian is never about sameness. It's always about change. That's why we must learn to survive and once again thrive when change involves heartbreaking loss. We're being conformed to the image of Christ. When our hearts are hemorraging with grief and loss, never forget that Christ binds and compresses it with a nail-scarred hand. Life will not ever be the same, but I have the invitation from Christ to rise to a new life-a more compassionate life, a wiser life, a more productive life. And, yes, even a better life. Sound impossible? It is without Christ. "

 

Ok whew..so that's what touched me, broke me, and bound me back up to Christ last night. God is good, he's gracious and he can take the absolute worst thing in our lives, and use them for his good and to give us goodness as well. He will not waste our hurt.

That Big Secret and Where to Really Find that answer and well every other one we have

WHAT'S THE BIG SECRET? :

 

Ok so see the link above...click it and read Carly's entry..it's a great one and my inspiration for this entry.

So many people are constantly seeking help. They will go to therapists, friends, spouses, anyone looking for answers, yet for many of us we hold the answer in a  book that for many has been passed down from generation after generation. For some like me, you have a few of this particular book, but in different versions, throughout your home. Some may have never even opened this book up. Some love this book, some hate it and everything it has to say because oh how it will condemn you if you're doing wrong. What book is it?

The Bible. You want your self help...read the bible.

Want to know what you're doing right and wrong in raising your children....read the bible.

Want to know why your marriage isn't the way you want...read the bible.

We're a society constantly searching for answers. We want to know how to eat right, why we're feeling this way or that way and how we can feel another way. Why our marriage isn't the way we desire, the answers are all there in one book. We all want to know how to fix this or change that, and the answers have been in a book for hundreds of years.  If you're searching for answers, I urge you to open up your bible. If you don't have one you can buy one through cbd.com, amazon.com. OR go to a church and tell them you don't have a bible and would like one.

Tags: Bible, Marriage, Children, Self Help

Army and Make a Wish Grant Ill Boy His Wish

Because the liberal media is so keen on only putting out all the horrible things our military does, and they like to quip they support our troops, but the reality is they don't, here's a nice story to share!

 

Top News- Sick Teen's Military Dreams Come True - AOL News

 

EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, FL (Feb. 26) - Weakened by a lifelong struggle with cystic fibrosis, 14-year-old Riley Woina dreamed of being strong like the heroes he'd seen in war movies like "Black Hawk Down."

He wanted to parachute, fire rounds, wear a uniform. He wasn't scared of some of the most grueling training the Army has to offer.

So when he was offered the opportunity through the Make-A-Wish foundation to realize his dream, he jumped at the chance. Recently, the Plymouth, Conn., teen got to spend a week watching the U.S. Army's 6th Ranger Training Battalion train in Florida - and even try many of the tasks himself.

"You always want what you cannot have and he'll never be able to join the Army because of his cystic fibrosis, so of course he wants that more than anyone else would. He would join the Army today if he could," said his mother, Susan Woina.

Riley is the first child to ask Make-A-Wish to visit a Ranger camp, said Capt. Jeremiah Cordovano, spokesman for the 6th Ranger Battalion. It was an unusual choice - the foundation often grants wishes for Walt Disney World trips or shopping sprees.

"I knew I probably wouldn't be able to do anything like this again. They do everything down here, the swamp training, everything," Riley said, while eating with his new Ranger buddies in the chow hall at Camp James E. Rudder.

The camp is where Rangers spend 18 grueling days at the end of their 62-day training. Rangers go through realistic combat scenarios and are typically exhausted when they arrive, said Cordovano. But, "you really get to see what you are made of and if you have what it takes to be a combat leader," he said.

During the week, the 80-pound teen got to ride in a helicopter, traverse the swamps with Rangers in an inflatable Zodiac boat and witness a 64-paratrooper night jump from inside a C-130. He even got personalized fatigues, complete with his own combat boots and dog tags.

He also was presented with his own flight suit, a "U.S. Army Air Ambulance Detachment" patch, and his pilot's wings from an 82nd Airborne flight crew. Rangers also helped him to radio his mom from the helicopter while hovering above the beach.

"Mom, this is Riley, this is awesome," he said.

"Riley, I'm glad you're having a good time," she said.

The Rangers showed Riley how to deploy a parachute and a reserve parachute. As his parents and older brother, Ryan, laughed at Riley's enthusiasm, Master Sgts. Jose Morengo and Alexander Barnett rolled on the ground, jumped off benches and unfurled the parachutes.

He got to practice shooting blank M4 rounds and help clear a training room using grenade simulators.

Even a black eye, which he received as Morengo pulled the rip cord grip on a reserve parachute strapped around Riley's waist, didn't keep Riley from smiling. Morengo gave Riley the rip cord grip as a souvenir, explaining that it was the ultimate trophy of surviving a harrowing experience.

Riley's cystic fibrosis causes a buildup of a thick mucus that makes breathing difficult and inhibits absorption of nutrients, stunting growth. Riley takes nutritional supplements, respiratory medications, uses an inhaler and sleeps with a special vest that helps to shake up and clear out the mucus in his lungs while he sleeps.

But the Rangers who met him said that he's got the fortitude it takes to be a Ranger. Later this month, he'll get to go to Fort Benning, Ga.,with the successful students for graduation ceremonies.

"He's got nothing to prove to us, he's tough enough," Morengo said.

The experience didn't make Riley fear the grueling physical punishment Rangers experience at Camp Rudder, either - and he wasn't sympathetic.

"It's a way of life for them, they are the ones that signed up for it so it's their fault," he said, as the Rangers around him laughed.

 

 

******On a personal note, Jordyn never got a Make a Wish. I'm sure hers would have been more of a Disney Trip, but we did use another grant foundation that allowed us to take her back to Kansas so all our friends and family were able to see her one last time before she died. A family friend put together a HUGE birthday party for her at a local church's gym (normal high school gym size). She had a pony that she got to ride, although it freaked her out, etc. It is an organization that does everything they can to grant children's wishes. Most only hear about Disney Trips, but they can do so many different things, such as this one. They can't grant trips out of the country, the legistics in and of itself would be a nightmare, and the money involved would probably cost what it'd cost to grant 3 or more Disney wishes!

 

Isn't it nice to just read good news, we're bombarded with negative all the time, to read something good, positive, and simply nice is a wonderful change.

Pregnancy Update

Ok soI'll be 15 weeks. I am still dealing with "morning" sickness. Trust me it's not just in the morning. It hits me any time of the day or evening, usually by say 7 pm I'm ok. Today I only had nausea, so maybe I'm starting to turn a corner! I hope so, but not holding my breath yet on that.

I'm also not sure if I told you that at my last ob apt, my dr decided to dx me with high blood pressure, after just one taking it was 150/72. They never retook it before I left the office. Now I go to a German ob, we have to. Where we're located that's the only option, we're a good 3 or more hours from Landstuhl so no American OB's for me. Which is ok, there are just some differences obviously. Like the whole "you're having your tubes tied, you have to...this will be your 4th c-section"...um no I will not. We have put our fertility and family into God's hands and he's done a great job for us so far! So anyways, my ob told me to go to our little clinic that we have on post 3 times a week until my next apt which is March 12. I went Friday and it was in the normal range. I don't remember exactly what it was but it was in the 130's/70's. Then today I went back and it was 123/80...perfectly good. The nurses at the clinic think I either had a bad reading (At my ob's they do it the old fashioned way, squeezing the cuff and listening to the heart rate) vs the machine that takes it at the clinic and well prob. every   American facility. So I'm really not sure, but am thrilled that my bp is in the normal range. I did have to call today and reschedule my glucose test. It was supposed to be on Friday, but we're going to Garmisch on a retreat so it's scheduled for next Thursday...the 8th of March. I actually requested to have the glucose test done early, because I am overweight and want to stay on top of this, so if I do come down with gestational diabetes I can be on top of taking care of it. Hopefully it will not be an issue, but I figure it's better to be overly cautious than under when it comes to this.

I'm really not one that worries too much, but I do try to be proactive and if I'm not, no one else is going to be. I'm me and my babies best advocate.

Well, I'm actually tired, so I'm off to bed.

 

God Bless

 

 

 

lil update

I probably confused at least a couple people, some one suggested I might have strep throat and I realize I didn't put my statement about it from last nights entry into a question (which is what I intended on doing..oops!) Ok, so I don't think I have strep for the fact that my throat only hurts at night time, I'm pretty well always hoarse, but I nearly lose my voice at night and first thing in the morning it takes it a little while for it to get as "normal" as possible for right now! So I don't think I have Strep Throat!! :)

We've had a little houseguest since Friday afternoon and he's going home anytime now. He's our friends little dog, Sparky! They went to Venice for the weekend, while the inlaw (mil and grandma) are here. The husband will be deploying soon, so this was a nice little weekend get away. They just had a baby in January and we kept their older son during that time. So any ways, Sparky should be going up in the next half hour. He was supposed to go home yesterday, but they didn't end up getting home until almost 1 am! He's a good little dog and the boys love him so he's been fun to have here! We've watched him a few other times so he just becomes right at home while staying here! :)

Ok,I need to get dressed, it's some how 10:30 already! Where did my morning go? I need to start thinking about lunch!!

In a Mood**Edited**

Ok first thanks for the prayers and thoughts. My friend is getting better, she's still not feeling hot but the worst of it seems to be past. Her oldest is coming home tonight and she's happy about that, she's really missed her even though she's been at her Nana's about 15 minutes away. I think all of us Mama's can understand how much we miss our little ones when they're not with us. Amazingly her youngest one who stayed home never got sick so hopefully the girls will stay healthy!

My throat is still a little soar,but not like it was. I've never had strep throat, but I always thought that was something that always hurt (day and night) and mine really is only sore at night, I will wake up a little sore, but mostly hoarse and it stays that oh so sexy hoarse sound throughout the day (not the crackling going in and out like it is in the morning and by the end of the night, which you all know is 2 or 3 am for me!).

The morning sickness (m/s) is still here and so is the overwhelming nausea. I'm honestly sick of it (yeah great choice of words huh!) I'm tired of it. Speaking of tired, that's really hitting me lately. Today we had Awana. We have to be at the church by 4. I'm the Sparks Director so I have a bag and tote I take to the High School Annex where Sparks and T&T are at (the cubbies are the only ones that stay at the chapel), and Chad's the Games Director and he normally has tons of stuff to haul, including grabbing the flags for Sparks and T&T as well as the American Flag and the Awana Flag and the board that has the Awana Pledge on it. (Yes Chad grabs more than what he should have to, but simply put no one else does it...so it falls on him and he's a nice guy!). Anyways, I laid down on the couch about 3, finally started drifting off about 3:20, only to wake up 20 minutes freaking out knowing we still needed to get ready to go. So we popped off the couch and chair (where Chad was dosing). Seriously I could have slept until 6 pm. Once we were outside I was fine, but man was I tired and of course here it is 11:35 and I'm wide awake.

Did I tell you guys that on Thursday we're going back down to Garmisch? The chapel is sponsoring Marriage retreats through our unit (all 3 units who returned are going on retreats, they're each offering 4 or 5 so everyone can go). We couldn't go to the first one, but it's really worked out perfectly, we would have missed AWANA and that's a no go. We'll be down there Thursday through Saturday. While down there we plan on going to a man who makes furniture (custom) for a very reasonable price! I'm excited about the retreat and the furniture! The boys love going there and it's honestly I think Jack's favorite place in the whole world!!

Ok so anyways, ultimately I'm just in a mood. I've read a friends blog (real life friend) and oh she's on my last freaking nerve. I know so not nice. We have completely opposite opinions on parenting, not saying I'm right and she's wrong, just very different. I'm not one who thinks TV is really good for kids and she gives it the credit for teaching her children. I guess I am too stubborn to say tv's been my children's teacher...that's MY JOB. I think tv is and should be for entertainment. Of course there are learning aspects, but it's not what's teaching my children. What it can do though is encourage things. It can encourage negative (mostly) and sometimes positive morals, it can encourage values (again I believe mostly negative). There are a lot of cute children's programs on tv now and they spout that they're educational but really they're entertainment. When I was a kid I watched for entertainment and I know without a doubt I learned from them. I think in many ways the older cartoons gave in ways more valuable tools. They showed friends being FRIENDS, showed families being families, sticking up for each other, going out on the limb for each other, etc. My childhood was full of Strawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, Munchichi's (oh I loved that one...lol), the Get A Long Gang ( I think they are the animals who lived in the city park), Care Bears, Smurfs, etc. There were good and bad, very clear cut in many of the cartoons from my childhood. There were good guys and bad guys. Today there's very few that teach that aspect to life. The reality is there are good and bad people. Easy and hard situations, etc. They were also primarily limited to Saturday mornings, where you looked forward to it all week. It also gave you a reason to behave yourself, knowing if you misbehaved, had a dirty room, etc no cartoons, which was close to death! LOL

So there's my mini vent for the night! LOL

Oh and I did accomplish something else tonight...got some laundry put away. Trust me when I say I'm a stay at home mom and not such a hot housewife. I want to be better at the latter. When I did put up the clothes I was very snippy to Chad, so I owe him a big apology. He'd offered to help  me even, and I was just not nice to him. No excuse, I choose my bad behavior/reaction and now I need to go in and say I'm sorry. It's humbling. God manages to humble me every single day, often multiple times a day!

**To answer Deb's question...the boys will go with us! They'll offer FREE childcare at the resort. Oh and the retreat is completely free, well I take that back. We'll have to pay for our lunches, but they pay for the room, breakfast, and dinner! We'll have 2 or 3 sessions/classes, one Thursday evening or afternoon once we're there, one on Friday, and possibly one on Saturday (not sure on Sat....Chad's supposed to bring the itenary home tomorrow). The rest of the time will be ours to do as we please. I think I can handle 1-2 hrs of classes a day, the rest of the time wondering Garmisch, playing in the pool, & enjoying the hot tub! Don't worry the hot tub isn't like the blasted scorching ones that are dangerous to pregnant women, this one the water is like the perfect bath tempature...safe for all, from new born babies to pregnant women!! It's outside too, so if it's cold oh it's the best! There's just something about warm water and cold air that does a person good! It's huge too, you can probably fit easily 40 or more people in it. Kids are welcomed until 7 pm (then it's adults only until closing time!!). Oh I can't wait!! LOL

Have a wonderful Sunday.

 

God Bless

Sore Throat and Prayers for a friend

I have a horribly sore throat. I can barely talk, even evening and morning I barely can speak. Whispering doesn't make it hurt so that's what I normally do until my voice finally starts to come back. I'm still quite hoarse but it's not too bad. When we first moved to Germany I got a nasty cold (in July/August) and ended up with larengytes ( I know I misspelled that), I was on antibiotic and another medication can't remember what it was. It took about 2 weeks with meds to get my voice back to normal. Since I will not take anything for it (not while pregnant even if it's "considered" safe) I am pretty sure it's going to take longer than 2 weeks, but we'll see. It hurts to swallow, even water. Actually water feels like acid going down my throat...it's like it's on fire when I drink it. I have also been coughing something awful, which usually leads to me running to the bathroom for 2 reaons....weak bladder and weak stomach. I'm already vomitting and gagging enough without coughing making me do it even more! I know it's really small, especially compared to my friend Emily who I'm asking the prayers for. She's 18 weeks pg and she has the flu. Her husband got sick Wed. and yesterday she came down with it. She was completely down and out yesterday with it. Her mom was able to take her older daughter who's 3, but not her younger one who's going to be 2 next week...so between her and her sick husband they've managed to well keep Matilyn alive! LOL Amazingly neither of the girls are sick. Emily has been able to stay hydrated and she has been feeling the baby fluttering about so that's definately good news, because she was worried about how this was going to effect the baby. So please keep Emily and her husband Matt in your prayers and pray that the girls don't get sick. Emily's in her last semester of college, she'll graduate in May...she's a SAHM (stay at home mom), and watches a friends little girl who's also almost 2, so she has her hands full, oh and on Monday's she watches another little girl. To say she doesn't have time to be sick,is putting it lightly!

 

Thanks for the prayers. Oh and I don't think I mentioned it...but last April my computer (desk top) crashed...the harddrive. Chad of course was deployed. Last month Chad bought a new hard drive and then we had to order the system recovery discs which took 3 weeks to get here (love it when we pay for over night delivery, we knew it wouldn't get to Germany over night but figured in a fewdays) anyways....it finally came and my computer is fixed! My best friends husband gave us an extra fan to hook up on the moniter too, because the fan in the computer wasn't big enough for the hard drive that CAME with the computer in the first place! @@ So....my computer's now all fixed. I did come to like the laptop and the convience of it at times so I haven't given it up, but it was a birthday gift for Chad from me....so he should get to use it! :) LOL I have a lot of pictures on the laptop, most I've copied to discs, but there are a few I haven't so I plan on uploading some of them on here! I still need to get the babies last u/s picture scanned and uploaded onto the computer. I need to hook it up though so that the laptop that's on wireless as well (this one is wireless too) can also be hooked up to it! Don't you love technology!

 

Ok, I'm off to bed.

 

Oh and for those not in Germany...we have a warning going across our tv's! USAEUR (U.S Army Europe) has put up a warning for all to stay out of Frankfurt Opera Square and Banking district because of extreme left wing demostartions that are taking part tomorrow, there is a good chance of violence breaking out. Most of you probably know, because I've stated it before I'm you could say an "Extreme" Right Winged Conservative  Republican   I told Chad when's the last time you heard of warnings to avoid demonstrations from right-wingers? You don't! Trust me in Europe you don't...the warnings are always about the left wingers. We didn't have plans to go to Frankfurt tomorrow anyways, but since last weekend all military personel, family members, and civilian workers were told to avoid downtown Vecinza because of protests (against the US Army expanding the base there) and possible violence against Americans. I don't know how many showed up in Vecinza, but they were projecting up to 70,000 protesters. Although Germany has it's faults....where there's American military communities you don't find protests. Many Germans work on post and appreciate that us American's spend a great deal of our money on the economy! I don't know why the Italians are so anti-American. I honestly wonder if it's not, not just the extreme leftists, but also the communists that are still VERY strong in power there. (YES the communist party is still quite strong in Italy). We have friends who just got back today from Italy. They were intially supposed to be stationed there and she said she is so glad they didn't. She said the Italians were really rude to them, even when they did their best Italian (Germans are VERY kind most the time, but especially when we attempt to speak their language). She said the drivers were insane (which I've heard many times), but just their demeanor over all was not kind by any means. It's amazig how 2 countries so close to each other can be so different.

 

Ok, I'm off to bed for real now. It's after 1 am now (1:04 to be precise).

God Bless and for those who are also sick or not feeling well...I pray you feel better.

Tags: Colds, Flu, Friends, Extreme Liberals, Germany, Italy